Another Concerned Citizen

If you've not been to the Facebook fan page...well, why not? All the cool kids are doing it. Geez.

At any rate, the following video was submitted by Craig Farley (Thanks, Craig!). The video was made somewhere in the South, judging by the accent. A citizen is pitching a fit about the "waste of taxpayer's money" regarding a speed enforcement sign.

The term "comeuppance" comes to mind...

SoulCrusher

On 2/9/11, I posted a challenge of sorts. Imagine my surprise when someone took me up on it! I got an email on Sunday, 2/27/11 from a Mr. Rick Wirthlin. It was a simple, straight forward email. He said that he saw I was looking for a soul-crushing logo and he offered me the image you will see below. He closed by saying, "I hope you like it."

Like it?

I want to make freaking T-shirts of it!

We exchanged a couple emails over the next couple of days. I wanted to get his website info squared away so I could link you all to him. He runs a web design shop and will take on straight graphics/illustration work as well. You can find him at Wirthlin Web Design.

I must admit to being bummed about just one thing...the image is too cool for Twitter. (By too cool, I mean too big.) You'll just have to make it your desktop pic like I did on every computer I log onto at the PD.

One of the things I dig about Rick is he gave credit where credit is due. He asked one of his illustrators to draw the image below. His artist's name? Bojan. Seriously.

Who else is picturing him as a Viking?

I'm here to tell you...Bojan has freaking chops! I absolutely love this drawing and I can't thank Rick and Bojan enough.

If either of you gents ever find yourselves in the Bay Area, ring me. First round is on me!

Without further ado...ladies and gents, SoulCrusher!

Passenger Poll

Lately, I've noticed what is becoming a time-honored tradition during traffic stops. Polling your passenger(s). This is how it works:

1. I stop you for speeding.

2. You stare at me gobsmacked (you're welcome UK readers).

3. You look to your compatriot in the passenger seat.

4. I start to shake my head

5. You ask the question, "Do you think I was going that fast?"

Let me take this opportunity to educate you on a few things. Your passenger doesn't have the first clue about how fast you were going. Be honest with yourself for a second. When you're sitting in the shotgun seat, how often are you monitoring the driver's speed? Occasionally? Seldom? Never?

Fine, we'll say you've a pit boss in your car monitoring your speed every second for the best possible lap time. Sure. Is your pit boss your 12 year old son?

Asking your pre-teen/teenager if they think you were speeding is not only ridiculous, I'm going to go ahead and say it makes you a lousy parent...at least in this instance. What are you teaching your kid right now? Are you teaching them that the police are trustworthy men/women of their word? Or are you teaching them that police randomly harass the public? Do you think you're a shining example of personal responsibility when you lie to an officer? Gee, do you think little Johnny/Susie will file this little episode away for future use when they get into trouble at school?

The bottom line is I don't think (nor will I be easily convinced otherwise) that your passenger, be they adult or a minor, is paying attention to your speed. I'll buy that they may glance over every once in a while for some random reason, but it isn't their job to keep you in check. And the odds they glanced at your speedometer right when I see you speeding? Infinitesimal.

Irony

Much like the rest of the world, Alanis Morrisette has forever confused me about the meaning of irony. I give you a couple snippets of lyrical genius:

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic ... don't you think

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
'Well isn't this nice...'
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think

No...I don't think it's ironic. I think it's really shitty luck. Here's how my awesome Macbook dictionary app defines irony: a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.

Let's review: Dude is afraid to fly. He gathers his manhood, kisses his kids, faces his fears and dies as a result. That ain't contrary or amusing. It's freaking sad.

I, on the other hand, am here to take back irony from Canadian pop stars (glares at Bryan Adams). Whilst trolling around about one of my favorite spots, I happened to catch a lady yapping away on her cell phone. Here's how it went:

MC: Hi there. Do you know why I stopped you?

II (Irony Incarnate): I was on the phone. You're going to curse me out when I tell you what I do.

MC: I very much doubt that, ma'am.

II: I'm so humiliated. Can I tell you what I do?

MC: Sure...

*Wait for it....*

II: I'm an instructor for a local traffic school.

I couldn't help myself. I started cracking up. And I mean loudly. God bless her, she was a sweet lady, but I couldn't stop laughing.

MC: Ma'am, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you. I just find the irony hilarious.

II: I know. I feel ridiculous. I just got a promotion and I was calling a friend to tell them the news.

MC: II, I won't tell a soul. (Except for a few thousand of my closest friends...but it'll all be anonymous. Not to worry.)

I added that last part in my head.

Another quick example of irony? Arresting a drunk driver. After he left the bar he was drinking in. After committing a hit and run. On the bartender's truck.

That may not technically qualify as being contrary...but it's amusing as hell.

"Amusing as hell" seems a bit ironic as well, doesn't it? I'd assume that hell is not at all amusing. I don't remember a circle of Dante's Inferno being entitled, "The Thirteenth circle of Hell was sponsored by Six Flags".

Look at the circles you have us running in, Alanis!

Oversight Corrected

It seems I am guilty of a senseless oversight...on a couple fronts.

I was contacted months ago by a gentleman who writes an EMS blog called medicmadness.com. He had some nice things to say and I completely ignored his email. I could offer some admittedly lame excuses about how my inbox is flooded with adorations the world over, but I think we all know what a load that'd be.

The truth of the matter is I glossed right over it and then forgot about it...much to my chagrin. I returned the very kind email and was happily forgiven for my weak response time. At any rate, I've taken the time to peruse medicmadness and I enjoyed what I read. To that end, you'll see it added to my "Send in Fire" blogroll.

In addition to that, it seems I need to address a glaring oversight. For some reason, I completely vapor locked and never added the blog of one of the three fathers of the Chronicles of EMS phenom, Mark Glencorse. I know I've mentioned Mark and his blog in the past, but I wanted to make sure you can find it easily from here as well. You will now find 999medic.com on the "Send in Fire" blogroll as well.

Well...that should earn me a bit of respite. Please to enjoy their respective musings!

Pet Peeve

There are so many things to pitch a fit about in this job. There's no denying it. This isn't the first post I've done about the ludicrous things you, the driving public, do that drive me mad. It won't be the last either. This particular iteration, however, comes after the last week or so of having it happen repeatedly.

Put yourself in a driver's position. You are tooling along (see what I did there? Clever, yes? 'Cause you're a tool...geez, people. If I have to explain it, it just isn't as funny) when you see flashing lights of the red and blue variety accompanying a godawful sound that reminds you of a wailing scream. What do you do?

Do you A) pull over to the right side of the roadway immediately or B) continue to drive along (albeit slowly) and attempt to make eye contact with the officer?

If you answered A, congrats. You can stop reading and go back to your cross stitch.

If you answered B, I have another question for you. Now that you've made eye contact do you A) see that the cop isn't trying to get around you and immediately yield to the right side of the roadway or B) continue to drive along (even more slowly), raise your index finger and point at yourself?

If you answered A (after having answered B on the first question), congrats. Although you are quite a bit dumber than the folks who nailed it in the first question, you've redeemed yourself slightly.

If you answered B to the second question, this post is for you.

Let me explain something to you. When you see the bright, flashing lights, the loud siren, and eventually my bent voice coming over the PA, odds are I'm trying to get you to PULL OVER! I'm not just on a pleasure cruise. I'd very much like to meet you and discuss whatever ridiculous thing you did to get my attention.

Now, let's pretend for a moment that (for some reason I can't fathom) I'm not trying to stop you. What the hell do you think I'm trying to do?!? Get out of the bloody way!! This is why the vehicle code requires you to move to the right. Either I'm trying to stop you or I need to get somewhere with a quickness.

Either way, you looking at me in the rear view and pointing at yourself like an idiot is not the appropriate response! Folks, we don't just drive from coffee shop to coffee shop with our lights and sirens going. We are not the collective boy that cried wolf.

So, please. Yield. No matter how you slice it, your best bet is getting over. If you refuse to, it may likely result in an even more expensive fine. And even more mortifying...I will make fun of you in front of thousands.

MC Finally Edits a Show!

Sure, we taped the show two weeks ago. It took MC two weeks to limp his way through editing. But Huzzah! He finally got the job done. In this episode, HM and I talk about freeway lane closures, who's in charge, and what happens when PD and Fire disagree.

We also take a couple more listener questions...remember, you can call with your question(s) at 313-451-HMMC. Want to know who figured out what 451 means? Listen to the show!