Just move the car already.

The other day, I responded to a three car collision on Main St. It was just after dusk and the three cars were stopped in the #1 lane of Main St. just prior to the intersection with a shopping center. Apparently, the person that called dispatch said she refused to move her vehicle until the police arrived.

I got on scene and saw the aforementioned three cars stopped in the #1 southbound lane. None of their lights were on and all the involved parties were standing in between V-1 and V-2. I put on my emergency lights and got in behind them to let oncoming traffic know there was an obstruction ahead. I got out and saw the exasperated caller. Here's how it went:

MC: Do all these cars run?

Chorus of involved parties: Yes.

MC: Good. Fire 'em up and move them out of the street and into the parking lot.

SIDL (Self-Induced Drama Lady): *SIGH*

MC: You're blocking the roadway and causing a hazard. Move the cars.

All the cars were moved into an adjacent parking lot. The parties got out and continued exchanging their information. But not SIDL. Oh, no. She wanted to be a passive/aggressive condescending pain in the ass.

SIDL: In the past, my family has been falsely found at fault by Town PD after the cars were moved from the scene of an accident. No disrespect to you (*author's note: this damn near always means there is some), but I refused to move until an officer could come and see the cars as they were.

MC: Well, ma'am, I don't know what to tell you about your family's past collisions, but I do know that what you were doing was not safe. It wasn't safe for you, the other involved parties, or southbound traffic. Not to mention that the lot of you were standing in between two cars in the middle of a busy roadway during commute hours. So, you tell me, what's going to happen when a driver who isn't paying attention hits the third car involved?

SIDL: Yes, that was my fault.

MC: You could all very well end up in wheelchairs for the rest of your lives. Not moving the cars is dangerous and not at all smart.

SIDL: Yes, well, I need to get back to my information here.

MC: Holy smokes...**shakes head and walks away**

Let me explain something, folks. This was a three car collision. The third car in line rear ended the second, which rear ended the first. Let's assume they had wisely decided to move out of the roadway prior to my arrival. However could I piece this Rubik's Cube-esque puzzle together? I mean, one car is gonna have only rear end damage, the other only front end damage, and yet another front and rear damage?!?!? Goodness gracious me!

How's about this? Why don't you stop being a selfish drama queen and think about the safety of others for a moment. Or, hell, be selfish....it'll still result in you moving because you don't want to get hurt.

There's a reason I love traffic, ladies and gentleman. I can rely much less on what people, be they involved or witnesses, tell me. The evidence speaks for itself. This fender bender (and it was nothing more than that) was no different.

Or, how about this...why don't you just do what the man with the badge and gun tell you to do? Now, before some of you haters out there get all up in arms about abuses of power and other such bullshit nonsense, why don't we stop and think about it. Don't you think that maybe the guy the state of California has seen fit to issue a badge and gun to might just have more training in public safety than that time you went to the PTA meeting and your kid's Boy Scout troop leader taught you about the importance of buckling your safety belt? Do you think that maybe I have to consider more than who's at fault for a piddly little accident?

Yes, we get it, you're not at fault. You're the first car in line in a rear-end collision. Rocket science this is not. Perhaps, however, your concerns should extend beyond worrying about your insurance rates to not getting killed in a more serious accident because you're too narrow minded to be concerned about anything else.

Tailgaters

We've all seen it in our rearview mirrors....the hood of the car behind you. Why the hood? Because the damn car is too close to see the headlights. Quick brake check? Gets your point across, but not at all safe (or smart). The smart move is simply moving over and letting the impatient assclown go along his/her way.

I'm not saying that I miss my Dad's old '65 GMC pickup when I had a tailgater. That thing was like a friggin' tank and it would be no problem to remind tailgaters that their proffered method of following me wasn't the best way. No, no...to say that would be irresponsible and incredibly foolish.

About a year ago, my department issued the motors lidars with the DBC (Distance Between Cars) function. The DBC works by shooting both vehicles either as they approach (front bumpers) or as they pass (rear bumpers). The lidar calculates the speed of both vehicles, distances from the operator's location, the distance between the cars (in both time and feet), and the time between both shots.

Human perception/reaction time has long been understood to be 1.5 seconds. Folks that are way smarter than me and probably have more initials behind their names and degrees on their walls conducted enough experiments, studies, and scientific type stuff to determine that time. What does that mean in layman's terms? It takes .75 seconds for your average human to perceive, in this example, what the driver ahead of you is doing, and an additional .75 seconds to safely react to it. That totals 1.5 seconds from start to finish.

Consequently, when I shoot two vehicles with the DBC function and I get a digital readout with the time between the two cars. That is to say, it calculates how quickly one car will pass the same point the car in front of it just passed. I feel perfectly justified in stopping and citing anything less than one second. More often than not, though, I give an additional benefit of the doubt of another .1 second. Generous, no?

Here's the part where the judge in my jurisdiction seems to get stuck on. Let's say the speed limit is 45 mph. I see two cars and the second is too close to the first. I shoot both cars and get a display of .88 seconds and a distance of 53'. The second vehicle is not violating the basic speed law at 43 mph. Or is he? CVC 22350 requires drivers to "have due regard for the traffic upon the highway". If the vehicle in front of the tailgater is too close for safety, doesn't that violate 22350? Maybe, but CVC 21703 is more specific with regard to tailgating, "The driver of a motor vehicle shall not follow another vehicle more closely than is reasonable and prudent, having due regard for the speed of such vehicle and the traffic upon, and the condition of, the roadway."

It seems because the speed and distance in the aforementioned example is what it is, the judge takes exception to the rule. Allow me to explain further...

43 mph correlates to about 63 fps (feet per second). In 1.5 seconds, the vehicle will travel about 94.5 feet. If the distance between the cars is 53', it is nearly physiologically impossible for a human to avoid a collision if the driver in front aggressively brakes for any reason at that speed.

It's an anomaly for the judge to take exception to tailgating. I've testified to 21703 a couple dozen times and I've written quite a few that never went to trial. In my opinion, it's a fantastic cite and helps reduce collisions if people are more aware of how close they are traveling behind the car in front of them. So many of our rear-end collisions cite speeding as the primary collision factor when in fact tailgating is more likely the culprit. Unfortunately, witnesses are scarce and speeding is easier to prove than tailgating without corroboration from a witness or involved party.

I'll keep writing them. If the judge sees fit to dismiss the occasional violation, it's no skin of my nose. As far as I'm concerned, I'm making the streets safer by writing this particular violation. So many people simply don't realize how close they actually are to the car in front of them. And it's awful damn hard to argue with the lidar.

Testifying and You

Recently, I've noticed a handful of newbie cops testifying in traffic court. Unfortunately, some of them have never been schooled on the proper way to testify. I've taken it upon myself to give a few tips to the uninitiated.

It's always bothered me that during FTO, the important topic of testifying in court is not just minimal, but more often than not, completely ignored. My first time in court was nerve racking, sweat inducing, and mouth drying. I stumbled and started at what felt like every turn. Since I testify much more in traffic court, what follows will be more specific to that as opposed to criminal court.

1) Don't read! I've seen a few officers stand in front of the judge and defendant and read their testimony. The judge inevitably stops them and tells them both he and the defendant deserve the officer's best recollection of the violation. Officers are allowed to use their copy of the citation to refresh their memory, but reading a pre-prepared statement is unprofessional and calls into doubt whether the officer actually remembers the incident.

2) Practice! When you're new to testifying, there's nothing wrong with writing out what you want to say and practice it. Now, I know what you're thinking. Aren't you just memorizing the pre-prepared statement? That's not what I mean. When you first start out, it's a stressful experience. Writing down what you want to say and practicing your testimony outside of court helps reduce your nervousness and increases your confidence. Write down what your recollections are and practice it. Over and over and over. When I first started, I'd recite my testimony while I was getting ready for court, on the ride over, and in my head while others were testifying. After you've got a few cases under your belt, you won't need to write out your testimony at all.

Each case is unique, but each testimony follows a similar pattern. There a few key points you've got to hit in each one. You've got to mention who you are, that you were in uniform and driving/riding a marked unit, the location of the violation, what violation occurred and the circumstances surrounding it, an enforcement stop was conducted, identify the driver/defendant and how they were identified on scene (verbal, CDL, ID card), any relevant statements made*, and that the driver/defendant signed the citation. This list is by no means comprehensive, but it does include most, if not all, of the things I mention each time I testify.

*I say "relevant" because when the driver/defendant calls you an asshole or asks you if you have anything better to do, it has nothing to do with the violation. If you bring up these things in court, it makes you appear like a petty, vindictive jerkoff....in my opinion. Conversely, if the defendant brings it up or claims you did or said something you didn't, I think you're all good to mention additional facts.

3) Pay attention! If you're not called first, take the time to listen to other cases and how the more experienced officers testify. Listen to what works and what doesn't. Come up with a spiel that works for you using bits and pieces of what you liked about other officer's testimony.

4) Anticipate! Put yourself in the defendant's shoes. What kinds of questions do you think they will ask. Are there any holes in your testimony they may try to exploit? Did you leave something out? The more specific and detailed you are, the less the defendant can use to trip you up.

5) Relax! It's just traffic court, kids. You're bound to lose some. Some you may well deserve to lose and some the judge may just get a wild hair. You never know. Just don't let any of it discourage you about tomorrow's case. If the defendant wins, thank the judge. If you win, thank the judge. Remember that you're getting paid to be there regardless of the outcome. Believe me, if the defendant wins, he/she will eventually get another ticket and the whole rigmarole will start all over again.

I don't get it

Here's a little radio quirk I've never understood. It's not specific to dispatchers or officers. I've heard them both do it. Lemme play out a scenario for you...

Either dispatch or an officer is putting out the description of a vehicle. The vehicle is described as a late model Honda four door and it's "red in color". Really? In color? What the hell else would it be? Red in shape? Red in texture?

It's not a big deal. It's just one of those things that bugs me. Like asking for the next available report number. What else is dispatch going to give you? The report number for next week? Stop being redundant. You're taking up airtime.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog reading. Thank you.

Ask MC

I think I finally landed on what to call these posts. Instead of the Weekly/Daily/Fortnightly question, I've decided to go with simply, "Ask MC". That way, I'm not painting myself into a corner with the irregular timing of the posts. Now, on to Marguerite's question...

Is it legal to ride a bicycle with earbuds in in California ? When I learned to ride a bike, I recall an officer coming into my second-grade class to inform us all it was illegal to ride our bikes while listening to our walkmans. Now I live and work in an university town which prides itself on being ‘bike friendly,’ but I would rather walk than ride a bike here, just because so many of the residents, especially the students, ride their bikes while listening to ipods and other devices. And unlike the long-dated walkman headphones, I can’t see the earbuds when I come up behind someone. These people can not hear me when I call out “Passing on your right!” or “Look out!” They can’t hear traffic and I’ve seen some related careless behavior which scares the socks off me. Many of these folks have no idea how to ride a bike in the first place, they don’t seem to know they count as vehicular traffic, but their inability to hear just adds an additional layer of scary to it all.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Sincerely,

Marguerite

I'm sure I've mentioned it a time or two before, but CVC 21200(a) states in part, "Every person riding a bicycle upon a highway has all the rights and is subject to all the provisions applicable to the driver of a vehicle." I cited this section as more of a reminder than anything else. You're answer is specifically answered in CVC 27400. CVC 27400 states in part, "A person operating a motor vehicle or bicycle may not wear a headset covering, or earplugs in, both ears." There are exceptions, but none of them apply to your average, every day cyclist.

I'm sure the legislature had no clue what the hell "earbuds" were when the section was written, but it can still be applied.

Thanks for the question, Marguerite! Hope it helped.

Time Constraints

Lately, I've gotten a handful of requests to get off my lazy ass and write more. I'm making an effort to do so this weekend. Keep in mind it's the holiday season and OT has been plentiful in the last month. I've also got a couple proverbial pokers in a couple proverbial fires, so be patient and I promise to write soon.

I am aware I've been slacking (thank you, Chachi), but barely a day goes by that I don't think about my self-inflicted writing responsibilities. I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving (for us American types...sorry, England) and your Christmases are equally lovely.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Daddy duty calls...

Weekly Question

Or perhaps, since I've been so spotty with these of late, I should just title this one "12/1/09 Question". Either way...

Ann offers the following scenario:

This has been bothering me for a while, maybe you can weigh in…

A while back a very inebriated man stumbled into my workplace (not the first time this had happened with the same individual). I had seen him drive to my office in his car, and knew full well he would be getting back in the same car and heading back out on the streets of Seattle.
While my coworker “entertained” him, I went into the other room to let the police know about the impending deadly weapon headed for the streets, and his past history which all but guaranteed I wasn’t being overly cautious.

I was told that they couldn’t do anything until he was actually headed for his car, and told to call back at that time. No surprise, by the time I reached the police he was in his car and on his merry way down the street. I have no idea if he killed anybody after he left me.
Apparently, one needs to actually view the bullet leaving the barrel of the gun before calling the police. It’s ok to point the gun, but until you actually pull the trigger, no crime has been committed.

What else can a person do in this situation (keeping in mind, said person is a smallish female, and in no position to be trying to tackle a drunk)?


Excellent question, Ann. I can't answer for the Seattle PD (who did one hell of a job today...see this). The laws may very well be different in Washington. As per usual, all I can offer is how I would handle the incident.

Based on what you've said, it seems you saw the individual driving. If I were dispatched to you and I saw an inebriated individual that was identified by an independent witness (you) as the driver of a vehicle, I would then be able to pursue a DUI investigation. For the sake of argument, let's assume you didn't see him driving. His level of inebriation and his ability to care for himself (or lack thereof) may qualify as being drunk in public. It's a lesser charge and I don't need any witnesses.

Obviously, your situation didn't work out that way. Should there be a next time, my only advice is to get as detailed a description of the individual, vehicle (to include the license plate), and last known direction of travel as you can and pass it along to the police. We get these kinds of calls from time to time and, if possible, we can sit on the registered owner's home in the hopes that the driver is the registered owner and the individual is actually headed home. If we see the driver commit any infraction, we can stop the vehicle. If not, we can still consensually contact the driver when they pull up to the house and try to ascertain if there actually is a crime occurring.

It's a tough spot for you to be in, 5'2" or not. In this case, I would certainly not advise you to attempt to detain anyone, particularly if they are indeed intoxicated. Drunk folks tend to not think rationally.

Thanks for the question and I hope my answer helped!

Dear Dumbass...

This post goes out to you small subset of anonymous a-holes out there that think leaving threats without your name signed to it is a good idea. I'd like to introduce you to the concept of an IP address. Yes, I have software installed on the blog to track them.

Are you listening, Chicago? Good.

Now go back to your dismal little douche-existence and leave the rest of us the fuck alone. Oh, also, your grammar is terrible. "Son of a bitches" leads one to believe it is possible to have more than one mother. It is not. If you ever get laid, you could very well be introduced to the concept, God help us all. And, of course, if that lucky lady does have your offspring, we may all accurately refer to you as "that motherfucker" with the shitty grammar. "Sons of bitches" is what you were shooting for. See how that works?

Over the past year and a half, I've gotten comments from a handful of you hateful pricks that find it somehow amusing to tell me (and by me, I mean me as a representative of the LEO community) that you hope I/we die or suffer some heinous deformity, blah, blah, blah. Usually, I ignore your bullshit, but today, your misuse of the English language just put me right over the edge.

I've every confidence that should you ever have the stones to actually leave your mom's basement and attempt something foolish, you'd be handled in the appropriate manner and probably spend a significant portion of the rest of your life in a small, cramped room not unlike the aforementioned basement. Only this time you'll have a roommate. He will think you're pretty.

So, for the first and last time, nutless wonder, the next time you decide to feebly attempt to namelessly flame someone, at least have the common fucking courtesy to proofread. Otherwise, you're just being lazy.

Nobody likes a lazy cocksucker.

How can you just stand there and lie like that?

Today, our intrepid hero had traffic court. I shall wait for you to regain consciousness after that bomb dropped...


You okay? Breathing into a paper bag? Bueno...I tarry on.

I had a case regarding speed. Nothing I haven't testified to literally hundreds of times before. Something about the audacity of today's defendant, though, really pissed me off. Being the professional purveyor of all things vehicle code related, however, I took it in stride knowing full well I'd just run on home and vent to you all. Please to enjoy...

MC: Good afternoon, you're honor, MC with the Town PD. This incident occurred on June 6 of this year. On that date, I was in full uniform and riding a marked Town PD Motorcycle. I was parked in the driveway of 123 Main St. for the purpose of monitoring traffic for a variety of vehicle code violations.

I saw the defendant's vehicle, a silver 2008 pricey car he most likely can't afford or is leasing (not actually what I said, but so much more entertaining than what I actually said). The vehicle appeared to be travelling in excess of the posted 30 MPH speed limit. I visually estimated the vehicle's speed at about 45 MPH. Using my hand held Lidar, I confirmed the vehicle's speed at 44 MPH. I conducted an enforcement stop, contacted the driver who identified himself as LLPF with a valid CA driver's license. I asked him if he knew what the speed limit was. He said, "25". I asked him if he knew how fast he was going. He said he did not. I issued him a citation for a violation of CVC 22350 and he signed the promise to appear in your Honor's court. I am handing him the current Traffic/Engineering Survey for the listed roadway. There are a number of businesses in the area, a Senior Care Facility, and apartments adding to the danger of speeding on Main St.

Judge: Any questions for the Officer?
LLPF (Liar, Liar Pants on Fire): Yes. Where were you parked?
MC: 123 Main St. (I really wanted to add, "Were you not listening? I mean I'm standing like two feet from you.)
LLPF: And where is that?
MC: In between South St. and the freeway.
LLPF: Are you aware there is a Senior Care Facility on that street?
MC: (Dude. Seriously? Are you retarded? Didn't I just testify to that very fucking thing?) Yes, I am.
LLPF: How far from where you were sitting is the Facility?
MC: Couple hundred feet or so.
LLPF: Did you see me come out of the Facility?
MC: No.
LLPF: Wouldn't it be hard to get up to 44 MPH in that distance?
MC: It sure would.
LLPF: No further questions.

LLPF went on to testi-lie (you read that right) about how he DID come out of the Facility and there was NO WAY he could have gotten up to that speed in so short a period of time.

Now here's what I left out of my testimony. After re-approaching LLPF's car with the citation, he said, "Can't we get a break? We donate all kinds of money to you guys." Let me explain something. It is so very tempting to make this douche look like the lying sack that he is in open court. Here's the thing, though. I'm not trying to look like the Cop with the attitude or chip on his shoulder. His statement, although indicative of his aforementioned douchery, has fuck all to do with the violation. So, I let it go. I've heard other Cops testify how the defendant told them to "fuck off" or call them an "asshole". They just sound like whiny little bitches when they bring it up in court. Like they're citing someone because they were mean to them. At the end of the day, I don't really give a shit what you call me because you and I both know you got stopped for doing something you weren't supposed to be doing. Your attitude may be personally irritating, but the law couldn't care less because it has nothing to do with whatever violation you committed.

The truly difficult thing is I know this jerkwad didn't come out of the Facility. Of course, I told the Judge that. He took it "under submission" which means he'll rule on it later and mail his decision. The problem is that of all the times I've been told I'd receive the results in the mail, I've seldom actually received them.

What the hell is wrong with society today? When did it become okay to straight lie in open court, under oath, no less? I'd like to believe karma will cut this guy off at the knees, but of late, I've been much less of a believer in "what goes around comes around"...totally different post, by the by...

The balls on this assclown are unbelieveable.

And to think I knew him when he was just Happy Medic

Today marks the beginning of a new way to look at EMS over at HMHQ and 999medic. Allow me to explain, just in case there are those of you who are uninitiated. About a year or so ago, a brash young man with the superhero moniker "Happy Medic" stumbled across an upstart's blog with the help of a friend. Those of you who've been reading for awhile are well aware of the antics of MC and HM's cross commentary on our respective blogs.

Earlier this year, HM and another paramedic (and a Foreigner at that!), one 999medic, also happened to begin to read each other's trials and travails in the art that is EMS. 999medic is from the UK and they have a completely different approach to patient care. Now, keep in mind, I've no clue what the hell the differences are because as we all know, cops just hope to hell Fire gets on scene first for any heinous medical calls. Sufficed to say, HM and 999medic struck up a fast friendship and began to discuss how their respective services handle similar events. After all, the incidents are similar, patients are the same, why treat them so differently?

It seems some of those questions may very well get answered as The Project gets under way. The Project is the brain child of these two pioneers and has been renamed the Chronicles of EMS (which will be filmed on this side of the Pond by Thaddeus Setla of Setla Film Productions). As I type this, 999medic, better known as Mark Glencorse, is sitting down to breakfast with HM, better known as Justin Schorr, at SFFD HQ. Mark and Justin have shed their virtual Batman cowls and revealed themselves to the world. Their meeting marks a new direction in the use of social media and EMS. Mark will be spending eight days riding and working with Justin in the City. Immediately after which, Justin will fly to Newcastle in the UK and spend eight days riding and working with Mark.

This is an exciting Project that will hopefully serve to bridge the gap between the two vastly different methods of providing patient care in the world of EMS. You can follow along on Twitter, @happymedic or @ukmedic999...they also have their own youtube channel where they will be giving nightly journal updates on the day's events.

I'm proud to know both of these men and I applaud their strives to change the way patients are treated and the way EMS care is provided.

Well done, gents!

The rest of you stay tuned for the entertaining story of how MC and HM met in the really real world!

I'm not a criminal...

As promised earlier on Facebook...

Today brought another fun filled court experience....and another Bitterman episode.

Ofr. Bitterman and I coincidentally had morning traffic court at the same time today. Bitterman thought he was lucky going early in the calendar. Poor hapless Bitterman.

The Judge called Bitterman's case. Bitterman walked up and waited for the defendant to walk up. The defendant didn't appear to be in court. Bitterman gave his testimony, the Judge found the absent defendant guilty. Bitterman was just about to the threshold of the doorway when this happened:

SET (to be explained): I DON'T GET TO SAY ANYTHING???

Silence fell upon the courtroom. All the cops looked to the back of the room. Then at the Judge. Oh man, this is gonna be good. Bitterman just froze in the doorway, a small shake of the head at his shitty luck.

SET (wait for it....): I'M NOT A CRIMINAL. I'M A SPECIAL ED TEACHER! (ergo SET).
Judge: Uh, I called your case why didn't you approach?
SET: No one told me what to do!
Judge: Alright. Why don't you have a seat and watch a few cases to get a feel for how they go. Ofr. Bitterman, you don't mind do you?
Bitterman (teeth set just so): No, your honor.

The judge called a few more cases, mine not amongst them. This was just fine with me...I needed blog fodder.

Judge: Calling SET.

Bitterman walked up and stood at the lectern. SET walked up in a huff and dropped her bag on the ground.

SET: Now that I've been totally humiliated...

Oh. Sweet. Lord. This just keeps getting better.

Judge: Excuse me?
SET: I said I've been humiliated.
Judge: Go sit down.

I watched Bitterman's jaw tighten and I had to stifle a chuckle. The judge continued through the rest of the calendar leaving SET for last. My case was heard (Victory, thank you), but I sat in the back of the courtroom because, well, fodder! Oh...and I forgot that halfway through the calendar, we saw the bailiff walk to the back of the courtroom with a box of kleenex. Priceless.

Judge: SET.

SET and Bitterman re-approach their respective lecterns. The Judge is truly a nice guy and I'll be the first to say I have no clue how he keeps his cool and maintains his patience in the face of such obvious idiocy (this case notwithstanding). He explained to SET that he called her last on the calendar to give her more privacy because of her comment about being humiliated. (I must admit to staring at my iPhone pretending to do something besides listen, because I'll just bet you looked at me with eyes that said, "Will you take a fuckin' hint and get out?!?" Do you people see the sacrifices I make for your entertainment?)

At any rate, she continued to whine about the injustices of apparently not having a full time sign spinner, a la Round Table, with a large "No U-Turn" sign in the middle of a busy intersection so she would take proper heed and not violate the law. Alas, SET, if only the Town had the disposable income to do such a thing...oh, and we could hire one of those cats that paint themselves silver and stand like statues for hours on end. I'm not really sure what purpose they would serve, but those dudes are cool!

The Judge asked if she would like him to go out and take a look at the intersection and make sure it was properly marked. She sobbingly requested he do just that. Here's where the Judge takes the easy way out...I know the intersection Bitterman testified to. SET violated the law. It's extremely well marked. The interesting thing is the Judge will take a case like this "under submission" which translates to (at least in this case and in my opinion) "I'm gonna find you guilty and mail you my decision so you don't freak the fuck out in my courtroom". I couldn't agree more with the tactic!

Much like me, Bitterman tends to get some weird people to interact with. Here's to another entertaining morning in the justice system!

God Bless the South

Really? No chases at all? Good luck, Wellford.

Hey, Mayor Peake...why don't you institute some more training for your officers? Maybe institute a fitness regime? Training and working out tend to reduce the number of on-the-job injuries. That correlates to less worker's comp claims. Oh...and you're a condescending, passive/aggressive ol' windbag.

Thanks for the video, Carol!

For your family

Recently, the Wife and I attended and graduated from the online version of FPU (Financial Peace University) put on by one Dave Ramsey. DR is the best-selling author of the Total Money Makeover and a nationally syndicated talk radio host. DR advocates a very common sense and patient approach to managing one's money. This is by no means a "get rich quick" program. It takes time, patience, sacrifice, and dedication.

There is so much I could pass along about this program, it boggles the mind. It has truly changed our approach to Finance. Our children will never have to suffer through the financial issues we have. They will never be slaves to creditors. We can't thank DR enough for putting us on the right track. We will be debt free (with the exception of our home) in a little less than four years. Paying off over $70K in that period of time blows my mind. The key to our success is sticking to an actual written budget, allocating our spending (every dime has a destination), and working hard to make some extra scratch (garage sales, OT, craigslist, etc).

After completing FPU, we joined the TMMO (Total Money Makeover) website. There, I found DR's 30-day challenge. The challenge is this: set up a "Legacy Drawer". I'll let DR explain it...

If something tragic were to happen to you or someone in your family, would anyone know where to look for important information like a power of attorney or insurance policies? Would anyone else know how to access important places like your safety deposit box? Do you have everything you need to have in order so that if something were to happen to you, everyone could devote their attention to you and not the stresses of financial uncertainty?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, you need to begin putting together what Dave Ramsey calls a “legacy drawer.” A legacy drawer is a drawer in your home that contains all the important information that your family needs if something happens to you. It gets the name from the fact that you love your family so much that you get all your matters in order so that the information is easy to get to and understand.

It’s not just papers thrown together. It should be organized so anyone could quickly find a certain document within 20 seconds. Everything is clearly marked, in order, and easy for a grieving family member to find.

After the tragedy suffered by Joel and his family, I find the discovery of the 30-day challenge fortuitous, minimally. You don't have to be a member of TMMO or even be a DR fan to see the benefit of having a Legacy Drawer. Things to include in the drawer are as follows:

Legacy Drawer Home

Will and Estate Plans

Financial Accounts

Funeral Instructions

Insurance Policies

Important Documents

Legacy Letters

Monthly Budget

Tax Returns

Safe Deposit Box

Passwords...

I encourage and challenge all of you to get your affairs in order and have them in a place easy for loved ones to find and understand. I know I will sleep better in 30 days when I know if something should happen to me, there will be much less for the Wife to deal with because we took the time to get everything squared away before necessity dictated it.

Criminal Tip of the Day

Dear Criminals,

Hi, Lawbreakers. MC, here. Listen...I wanted to take time out of my busy day to give you a little heads up. If you steal something from the neighborhood in which you live, don't be a complete dumbass and post that very item on Craigs list.

If you steal something from the neighborhood in which you live, don't post a picture of it on Craigs list next to the other shit you stole.

If you steal something from the neighborhood in which you live and you post a picture of it next to other stolen shit, don't answer the door when the Police come knocking.

If you answer the door after posting the stolen items on Craigs list with photos of said items with other stolen shit, at least have the decency to invoke your Miranda rights.

If you fail to invoke your Miranda rights after answering the door having posted picture of stolen property with other stolen property, just give up your life of crime. Because you suck at it.

Thanks for taking the time to read!

Cheers,

MC.

Some new additions...

If you're paying attention, you'll notice some new additions to the face of the blog. Above the most recent post, you'll find a button to become a fan of MC on Facebook. I am nothing if not an internet whore! I've linked my Twitter account to my Facebook status updates as well. Just another way to interact!

Also at the top of the right hand column, you'll notice a donate button. If you feel so motivated, you can donate whatever monetary amount you are comfortable with to my friend Joel's family. The link will take you directly to the Paypal site associated with Joel's family.

There will be some fun and exciting facets associated with the Facebook page. Some things I'm working on are a virtual patch collection and perhaps a contest of some kind involving photos of you and your local Motor. Details coming soon...stay tuned.

I'm working on some new posts from the past week or so. Be sure to check back...

It's time to pick ourselves up and continue on.

We've memorialized my friend. We've set up a fundraiser. If you know me personally, I can get you the information for the event. Connect with me on Facebook or shoot me an email. For the rest of you that either don't know me personally or are out of the Bay Area, please feel free to contribute if you're so inclined to the family trust at Bank of the West in Oakley, CA. Their address is 2195 Main St. Oakley, CA 94561-3300 or at (925) 625-2211.

Thank you for all your support and condolences. The Young family, friends, and my own family very much appreciate it.

And now, we return to our regularly scheduled shenanigans. Just the way Joel would want...

My Friend

Many times in our lives, bad things happen to us, to our loved ones, for seemingly no reason at all. They are never explained, at least not to our satisfaction, and we are forced to move forward without any concept of purpose or understanding.

Talking heads will try to soothe our pain. They will offer cliches and hackneyed opinions because they are simply trying to help. The truth of it is, sometimes life just isn't fair. Whether you find comfort in God or not doesn't really change what our concept of fairness is in the big picture of losing someone close for seemingly no real reason.

But, that is not what this post is truly about. I want to find reason and purpose behind a tragedy many of my friends, both old and new, experienced last Friday.

On Friday, 10/16/09, my friend, Joel, passed away. He was a Marine. He was a Cop. He was my friend. In what follows you will find some of my thoughts and experiences with Joel. These are my words and feelings and really the only way I know to express how I feel about my friend...

I met Joel in December of 1998. It was our orientation day for the Academy. We would spend the next six months building a career for ourselves and a friendship that would last what turned out to be the rest of his life.

Some of you knew Joel, so some of the things I say will make you laugh and probably cry. If you didn't know Joel, some of the things I say will make no sense whatsoever. He wouldn't care. Sound weird? Here's an example...

Having spent so much time together in an Academy class, you forcibly become a tight knit group. Not always a good thing, but still. A few weeks into the Academy, personalities really start to come out because we had shed the nervousness that was pervasive in such an experience. Joel was a born leader. He was also VERY outspoken and opinionated (but not even remotely in a bad way). He had a fantastic sense of humour, but you had to know him to truly appreciate it. If you didn't know Joel, his comments could easily be misconstrued as abrasive and condescending. Believe me, though, they weren't. To this day, I can't say, "God bless you" when someone sneezes without hearing Joel saying, "Shut up!" instead.

Joel practically reeked confidence. He was the most confident man I have ever met. There was no challenge he would not accept...and utterly decimate. His mantra, at least with me, was "You suck and I rock!" Hilarious. I know it sounds arrogant as all get out, but it really wasn't. The 'you suck' part was always said with jest. The 'I rock' part was all heart, though. The man didn't know the meaning of the word 'quit'. Not in his vocabulary.

While spending time with friends on Friday nite at both the hospital and later at Joel's house, I listened to story after story about Joel. This past September was his first time entering the Best of the West SWAT competition. He finished 29th out of 160. First time. Unreal.

Joel finished 1st in our Academy class. He was the consummate student in our time in the Academy.

I had the pleasure of being his roommate nearly ten years ago. We had many late nights either watching movies or out drinking. Or both. Usually both. We had a lot of laughs together. We had experiences that were entertaining and perhaps a bit depraved (D.O.P. anyone?). Joel was the kind of friend I didn't need to see every weekend to know if I needed something he'd be there to help. I can count on one hand the number of those kinds of friends I've had in my lifetime. We all have one less, now.

Being a college boy and never having spent time in the military, I have always been in awe of those of you who made that commitment and sacrifice. Joel was prime amongst them. He was a Marine and took 'Semper Fi' to heart. I have always appreciated his toughness, his tenacity, his dedication, his loyalty, and his commitment to those he cared about.

Joel was a BART police officer. He was a sniper for the SWAT team. Again, listening to his fellow officers and Team members on Friday, I was again impressed with Joel's impact on his fellow officers. From newer Team members to old, all were in awe of the man Joel was. If you had to get into it, to a man, they all wanted Joel on their side.

Joel met his match in his wife, Noelle. They met while he and I were roommates. Joel had a passion for SCUBA and, as it turns out, Noelle, was the dive buddy he was meant to have. Similar wit and a love for all things under water were just the combination for Joel to find happiness in love. I was thrilled when I heard the news he had finally caved and made the leap he had sworn to never take again.

In his final act of heroism, Joel was an organ donor. Joel could save up to seven lives with the organs he was able to provide. Even in passing, Joel is still making a difference. If you have any questions about organ donation, please visit here.

Lastly, and on a personal note, please make sure you have all of your financial plans in order. Have a will. Have a Living Will. Make sure your plans for your family are complete and easy to find when you are no longer here. Joel was 37 years old. He was in better shape than I could ever hope to be. None of us know how long we have. Your family will be dealing with enough at your passing. Take the time now to ensure they will not have to scramble in addition to dealing with your loss.

I love you, Brother. I will miss you.

A Lesson in Anthropology/Ethnicity

Don't worry....this isn't a PC-type post...

I love working Fridays. I get along real well with the weekend guys (I also dig the weekday folks, too, it's just a different vibe). At any rate, one of my partners on Fridays is my best friend. I've known him for years. We worked together in three different assignments. He stood up at my wedding. We had kids (his first, my second) within six weeks of one another. He's been a drinking buddy, confidante, pain in the ass, cover officer, joker, and everything in between.

In short, he's like a brother to me. Brothers tend to give each other shit. Here's yours, Eldo...

Today, I covered Eldo (let's just say it's a nickname) on a car stop. No big deal. A very standard stop. There are two occupants. The car has false tags, the driver is on probation for DUI and he's suspended. The driver's entire legal name had more letters than the very alphabet used to spell it out. The driver has an accent. Both occupants are of a darker complexion.

Eldo (after already contacting the driver and sorting out all the assorted violations): You know you can't drive without a license.

Driver of Unknown Origin: *mumbles something I couldn't hear*

Eldo: Hablas Ingles?

DUO: Um, yeah, but we're Tongan.

Eldo (without missing a beat, but still throwing me a quick look): Fair enough, park it and walk.

We quickly returned to our vehicles trying not to laugh out loud. Eldo told me later he probably should've known given DUO's ridiculously long and impossible to pronounce name.

Relax, man, you're not an anthropologist. Good comic relief, yes, but not an anthropologist.

Karma, you right bitch.

So, I'm off for seven weeks. Seven. I haven't ridden in almost two months. I'm not exactly ecstatic to leave the Fam at home and return to the grind, but I've made my peace with it. I'm ready to get on my bike and ride.

(Insert Family Feud-style buzzer)

Rain. Not just a little, friends, but a veritable downpour. Like break-out-the-Ark-plans-and-find-out-what-the-fuck-a-cubit-is type downpour. It was constant. The only change was the direction in which it fell. Sometimes, it was straight down. Sometimes, it was at a 45 degree angle.

I had every confidence that I'd be jumping from collision to collision all the live long day. I was ready. I spent the first couple hours updating my calendar for the boatload (timely metaphor, yes?) of subpoenas that were waiting for me. I cleared out my email. I got my patrol car together. At 0900, I left the parking lot thoroughly shocked I hadn't been detailed to anything yet. The morning commute was all but over.

My shock would continue. All day. I was in the report writing room getting ready to call it a day. We have a shortage of cars, so I had to take a swing shift car. They start at 1500 hours, I'm off at 1600. Consequently, I cleaned out the car and gave the swing shift guy the keys. I had exactly 25 minutes to the end of shift.

Cue radio.

Radio: MC, can you respond to a non-injury collision. On the other side of the Town. In the pouring rain. During the afternoon commute. 25 minutes before you're pointless day comes to an end?

MC: I live to serve.

Honestly, I half expected it after giving all my partners grief for wearing all their dayglow rain gear just to run from their car to the PD. I had just finished bragging about how I went the whole day without having to wear my rain jacket. I thought it was funny. Karma, apparently, did not. Time to pay up, MC. So be it.

I got the call and headed out to the south end of the Town. Upon arrival, there was, uh, nothing. Harumph. I contacted Dispatch and asked them to recontact the involved party to find out where exactly they are. The person had stated that they suspected the other involved party may have been intoxicated or have Parkinson's.

I drove around the surrounding area trying to find them. Nothing. Then, this:

Radio: MC, she said she got tired of waiting, so she left. Her phone number is in the detail.

Yeah, I'll get right on that. It took me exactly 13 minutes to get from the PD to the other end of the Town. In the aforementioned Exodus-style rain plague. That's actually really damn good time, thank you very much.

I got back to the PD and called this lady. She doesn't answer. Argh. I left her a message and explained that since she already had the other party's information, she could contact her insurance company regarding the collision. Part of me wishes she had answered the phone. Here's how it went in my mind:

Impatient Lady: Hello?
MC: Hi, this is MC with Town PD. Were you just involved in a collision?
IL: Yes?
MC: Is there a reason you reported the collision and then left without the courtesy of a phone call?
IL: Why, yes. I was tired of waiting in the rain.
MC: Ah. Was your vehicle's roof somehow penetrated rendering it's water-repulsing capability inadequate?
IL: No.
MC: Ah. Are you perhaps just impatient and lack the common courtesy to let us know you are no longer at the location.
IL: What do you mean?
MC: Nevermind, Ma'am. Can you explain the other party's demeanor to me?
IL: Well, I think he may have been drunk.
MC: Really? What leads you to suspect that?
IL: He had trouble with his phone number.
MC: Um. Ok. Anything else?
IL: He mentioned he had Parkinson's.
MC: Is that right? So you were concerned about his ability to operate a motor vehicle?
IL: Oh, most definitely!
MC: So concerned, in fact, that you just exchanged information and let him drive off with no regard to other driver's safety, or his own, for that matter?
IL: Uh...
MC: Unfortunately, Ma'am, I can't help you. See, because your descriptions of his alleged behavior is not very specific and the other party was no longer at the scene and you didn't really feel like waiting around, all I have here is a minor non-injury collision. This doesn't require a police report, Ma'am. As a matter of fact, you just feel free to contact your insurance agent and let him walk you through what to do.
IL: Oh. Ok.
MC: Thanks an awful lot for your courtesy and concern for the motoring public. Have a terrific Town day, now.

**Scene**

Whew...I feel a bit better. Still, I was off by 1600 hours. I've still got it!

Return to Glory

Ok, kids, I'm gearing up for a return to the mean streets at 0 dark thirty tomorrow. My hair has returned to a more LEO-appropriate length. The facial hair has gone by the wayside. The kids are not happy I won't be home as much as the past two months. The Wife is gearing up to handle the homestead solo.

It's appropriate that this is my 201st post. Kinda feels like starting a new chapter. I'm not thrilled about leaving the family, but we gotta pay those bills, right? Thanks for all the congratulatory comments and emails! It's been fantastic thus far. I appreciate the patience concerning my wildly inactive posts of late. Fret not, though, my fine friends, I fully intend to both literally and literarily get back in the saddle!

See you all out there...

Just checking in...

Hey all...

Just wanted to let you all know, I'm still alive and kicking. I'm visiting family out of state, but will be returning to the mean streets in a little less than three weeks.

Thanks for all the well wishes! They help get us through the sleepless nites!

Never Forget

I couldn't let today pass by without posting. I won't belabor the point, however. You all know what today is and what happened eight years ago. Take the time to remember the FDNY, NYPD, and the transit cops in NYC and NJ, as well as the passengers on all the involved flights.

I've am very proud to be a Cop and the son of a FireFighter. Even more so on this day.

Fanboy Alert

Just a quick non-LEO post...

I've just recently acquired Madden 10 and am looking to start an online franchise league. Anyone interested? Shoot me an email with your particulars and I'll get back to you!

This video has it all...

Thanks to Jennifer and Radar Signs for the following video. Seriously, it's got everything a traffic dork like me wants...stats and crashes! Please to enjoy...



Just goes to show you...slow down...the life you save may be your own!

**Addendum**

For some reason, part of the video is cut off (Thanks for the heads up, Sandra!). Being the Html neophyte that I am, I don't seem to be able to properly size the video. So, you can go here to see it without the retarded cut off.

Your patience is appreciated

In the last couple of weeks, things have vastly changed in the 'ol MC household. Baby MC is now a week old (how the hell did a week go by some damn fast?) and I'm adjusting (admirably, if I do say so myself) to being a Daddy of two. That, coupled with battling a cold and the repeatedly mentioned OT, has found me behind the eight ball a bit with regard to the blog and correspondence.

Last month found my blog hits blown up after the MSN article. A large number of you have commented and emailed me questions. I always appreciate the comments (at least the non-All Cops are Pigs ones) and a vast number of your questions will be answered in the Weekly Question Posts that will be forthcoming.

Some of the questions either have been answered before or are too detailed for a post answer. I'll get to you as time allows. Matter of fact, I still owe Karl an email from about six weeks ago or so (see, I haven't forgotten!). I just wanted to take the time to say thanks again and let you all know I read all my emails and will try to respond when I can.

Thanks for understanding and, again, thanks for reading!

If you don't want my help...

On one of my last OT shifts before my well earned and much deserved leave, I had occasion to respond to the following debacle...

I was advised by Dispatch of a less than cooperative caller reporting some HS (Health & Safety...short for drug related) activity. The caller wanted some questions answered. She refused to identify herself with the exception of her first name. Being the helpful Officer that I am, I rang her up and had this conversation:

MC: Good Afternoon, this is MC with Town PD.

Non-Cooperative Crazy Woman (this should be self-explanatory soon): Hi. I think my neighbor is growing and dealing marijuana and I want you to do something about it.

MC: Okay. What leads you to believe this is the case?

NCCW: I just know.

MC: Ma'am, unfortunately, I can't just take your word on something like this. I need some kind of evidence to move forward. Have you seen drug deals happen? Have you seen plants? How did you come to have this information?

NCCW: I'm not prepared to give you any information. Why can't you just stop them?

MC: Well, Ma'am, I can't just stop them because at this point, I have nothing that leads me to believe anything illegal is going on. I'd be happy to contact the involved parties if you could just give me a little something to go on.

NCCW: This is ridiculous. I can't believe you're not going to help me.

MC: It's not a matter of not helping you Ma'am. It would be like you calling to tell me your neighbor is a terrorist and I need to report him to Homeland Security. I can't violate someone's civil rights just because you say so. I need some kind of evidence or witness.
NCCW: My son won't be happy.

**Ding, ding, ding** If you have the same suspicion as I do, run, don't walk to your nearest Police Training Facility and apply. Methinks Little Johnny may have something to do with the purchasing of the Evil Weed!

MC: Ma'am, I understand your hesitation, but if you could just explain your concerns and why you have them, I'd be more than happy to look into it for you.

NCCW: You obviously can't help me.

MC: Okay, Ma'am, please call back if you can provide me with any relevant information.

I would have liked to follow through on this, but NCCW not only refused to provide her name to Dispatch and I, she also refused to give me other basic info...say, like the address of the alleged dealing, the names of those involved, why she suspected crime was afoot. Now, you'd think that would have been the end of it, right? Come on, haven't you read my blog before? That ain't the way shit goes down in Town. About an hour later, I'm dispatched to this:

"PR from previous detail apparently took matters into her own hands" (not something we in Law Enforcement every really want to hear, by the way) "and went to the house where they are growing marijuana. PR reported she smelled marijuana as she walked by the house. She walked up to the door, knocked, and asked the homeowner if she was selling marijuana."

Sigh. Are you fucking kidding me? I realize I don't work in South Central Los Angeles or anything, but how fucking stupid do you have to be to waltz up to a house where you suspect they are selling drugs and ask them? Are you trying to get shot? This moron is trying to prove Darwin right.

Again, she refused to provide anything but her first name, with the exception of the address. She probably thought she was forcing my hand into action. The reality of the situation was she had originally failed to provide me with any real evidence. You know, the shit I can tell the judge about?

At any rate, I went to the house. I stood on the sidewalk. I smelled the fresh air, the scent of BBQ on a summer day, but you know what I didn't smell? Mari-fucking-juana. NCCW is full of shit. I love when folks provide me with bullshit evidence to manufacture a crime so they will get what they've built up in their mind as satisfaction.

I walked up to the front door (still not smelling weed, by the by) and knocked on the door. A lady in her late 40's or early 50's answered. The conversation went a little something like this:

MC: Hiya. Had any strange conversations in the last 15 minutes or so?

Nice Pot-Growing and/or Compassionate Caregiver Lady: Matter of fact, I have.

MC: Lemme ask you...you growing marijuana here?

NPGCCL (Man, I'm getting carried away with the acronyms): Matter of fact, I am.

MC: You got a 215 card?

NPGCCL: Matter of fact, I do.

MC: Sweet, can I see it?

NPGCCL: Matter of fact, you can.

MC (after seeing here Cannabis Card): You mind if I take a look around?

NPGCCL: Matter of fact, I don't.

MC: Great.

She walked me around the house and into the backyard. It wasn't until I was about 10' from her legally obtained, owned, and cultivated plants that I could finally smell their distinct odor. Both she and her daughter had their cards in order and the legal number of plants.

MC: Thanks for your cooperation. All of these plants are for your personal use only, is that correct?

NPGCCL: Yes, sir.

MC: Fantastic. Listen, someone reported they suspect either you or your son of selling marijuana out of this house.

NPGCCL: Absolutely not.

MC: Lovely. You have a great day.

NPGCCL: You, too.

And that was that. Could she or her son have been selling? Maybe. Hell, probably. But, guess what? I had no evidence and no witnesses. All I had was one paranoid, non-cooperative PR with a death wish who's son was probably hooked into this debacle at some level. Know what else? Without any of those darn specific details, I have no legal leg to stand on, so spark on, NPGCCL.

I called NCCW to explain my findings to her, what with her being so awful concerned about it in the first place.

MC: Good Afternoon, this is MC with the Town PD, again.

NCCW: *Sigh*, I'm busy with my son right now. I don't have time to talk to you. You'll have to call back.

*Click*

Um...wanna bet? For someone so up in arms about the alleged drug dealing occurring in her 'hood, I found it interesting she didn't have time to discuss the result of the investigation.

Why can't you follow simple directions?

I've posted repeatedly about folks' general lack of common sense. There was the lady who decided to follow behind me, unbeknownst to me, while I searched her house for possible intruders. There was the man that did the same thing just a couple of weeks ago. The common theme in those two instances was the possibility of both of them having a sense of victimization (one in her head, the other in reality).

This post, although it has a similar theme, is different because the incident doesn't involve anyone I was directing, well, directly.

Toward the end of my shift a couple weeks ago, there was a major collision. Like Dukes of Hazzard major. I can't post pics because the investigation is on-going (and I'm not involved, thank you, God!) but I can tell you it was the second most destroyed car I've ever seen in person. The engine block was outside the car. Awesome in the truest sense of the word. At any rate, all the excitement is over. All the involved parties are on their ways to various medical-type facilities. Now, we're waiting on tow trucks and clean up.

Myself and a partner were directing traffic. For the sake of discussion, I'll describe the intersection as a freeway onramp/offramp access north/south and a less than major, but more than minor, east/west city street. There is a big ass Fire Truck (Note: Truck, not Engine, HM) blocking just about the entire east/west bound street. The signal lights are still functioning, but it's the middle of the afternoon and there are two uniformed officers in the intersection in full view directing traffic.

My main question is this...why the fuck do everyday, mostly intelligent, normal people, turn into drooling, slack-jawed, dipshits if someone directs them to a different direction than they originally wanted to go? Example:

MC (repeatedly waving/pointing westbound): Keep moving!

Slack Jawed Yokel: But I's a wanna go right!

MC: Well, you can't.

SJY: But I's live up thar.

MC: Interesting, but see that big shiny red truck that is COMPLETELY BLOCKING YOUR RIGHT TURN ACCESS??!?!?! That means you can't go that way, good sir.

SJY (spits chaw): How're I gunna git to m'house?

MC (cracks tooth from clenching jaw): I'm terribly sorry, sir, but there was a major injury collision in that intersection. Thank you ever so much for your expressed sympathy for the involved parties, by the way, awfully thoughtful of you. However, I'm going to have to humbly request one last time, that you TURN LEFT NOW!

My other favorite (read: irritating) habit of directing traffic is the rubber-necker. You know, the moron that has to crane his/her head at some heinous angle to get even a smidge of a glimpse at what they secretly hope is some carnage. This buffoon drives forward, kind of in the direction I indicate, with absolutely no attention paid to that direction.

I actually lost my voice yelling at people. Now, I know some of you will say, "You should get a whistle, MC." There are those that have them, but I like the yelling. Exorcises me demons and makes me feel alive. :p