A few posts ago, I ranted about cyclists. Today? The old.
Listen, Methuselah. I empathize with your need to remain independent. You survived a couple world wars. You made it through Black Monday. You carried on through the Dust Bowl. I applaud your tenacity and your gumption. You've got moxie. I get it. No one is questioning your survival instinct.
Here's the thing though...if you're old enough to remember when the horse and buggy was the major mode of transportation, I'm not so sure you need to be driving your '78 Cadi on my streets. Seriously.
Now I don't know about you and this may sound discriminatory and reactionary, but I think we (and I mean 'we' as a society) need to pick an age at which the state requires drivers to take a practical driving exam. That means taking your sheepskin seat belt protector and beaded seat rest down to the 'ol DMV and having the jaded, half a whack job sit in your passenger seat and test your ability to, oh I don't know, not crash into shit.
Is that ageism (ageist?)? Check it out...don't care. You want to be fair? No problem. I'm all for making it mandatory every four years. For everyone. You think DMV lines suck now? Just wait. My main bitch about the process? Here's a personal example...
My Great Grandfather was about 92 years old when he passed. He still had a valid CDL. He had Alzheimer's. DMV, in their vast wisdom, just kept sending the man a renewed license. HE WAS 92!!!! The man was born around the turn of the blessed century for crying out loud! He had no more business driving a car than I do operating one of those skyscraper cranes (random).
Another example...my Stepdad's mom (lovely woman, by the by) stopped driving around 90 after a friend got into an accident and got sued. Smart move, right? Absolutely. The amusing part is up until then wherever she went, she had to get there by making right turns. She wasn't comfortable making a left. !?!? She'd basically have to go four blocks to get one block from her house.
As a Motor, I have the power to issue a Retest Form. It can either be a priority exam or a regular exam. I'm pretty sure I issue more of them than most of the other Officers I work with. Call it a pet peeve. I've gotten a couple of folks' licenses revoked. Not because I'm an a-hole, but because I'm looking out for the general public's safety.
No one wants to be the heavy and take someone's freedom from them. But at what cost? How long do we let older drivers drive for? It's a physiological fact that as we age our perception/reaction time increases and our motor skills decline. It's a recipe for disaster.
The bottom line is this. If I stop you and your hands are shaking so bad you can barely pull your CDL out of your wallet (and not from nerves), you're gonna get a retest form. If you're in your advanced years and I pull you over for a fairly serious traffic violation, you're gonna get a retest form. If you are the primary responsible party in a traffic collision, you're gonna get a retest form.
It just occurred to me I have nothing to fear from the old regarding this post. They fear technology and more than likely couldn't find the Internet if it jumped on their face and wiggled. Besides, Wheel of Fortune is on. You know they're watching it and not cruising the blogosphere.
Now, you bastards get off my lawn!!!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Always Entertaining Traffic Court
I'm lucky enough to be in the jurisdiction that has a very fair Traffic Commissioner. He's also got quite the rapier wit. I tend to show up early to traffic court just for sheer entertainment value. There've been a number of stories over the years and I'm sure I'll add to them. This post, however, is more about seeing the disappointment on the face of a defendant that won the case. How is that possible, you ask? Read onward, friend...
A few weeks ago, I was sitting patiently in the court room waiting for my defendant's name to get called. I looked around the court room and saw a young lady holding a large piece of white poster board. I could just tell she'd put all kinds of time into her defense. She got called forward. She got up, a look of grim determination on her face. She was a teenager and it seemed as if her folks had encouraged her to experience the justice system first hand.
She approached the defendant's lectern and looked over to where all the Officers had stood in earlier cases. No one was there. Confusion tap danced across her naive face. The Judge asked, "Are you Suzy X. Teenager?" She squeaked out, "Yes, sir." The Judge said, "The officer isn't here, this is dismissed." She won, but the confusion still semi-registered on her face.
My case was called next and I blew through my testimony and won (C'mon...you doubt me?) I happened to walk out of the court house just in front of the teenager. She was on the phone with her Mom and was jabbering on about how she won because the Cop didn't show. She didn't seem too upset about all the work she put in, but based on the one-sided conversation, Mom had a bit of a hard time with it. The kid was elated she wasn't found guilty. She said, "I don't care about the evidence...I won! That's all that matters."
In other cases, though, I've seen defendants nearly talk themselves into a guilty verdict. If we, the Po-Po, don't show up for court, the State hasn't proven its case against the defendant, so it is automatically dismissed. Sometimes, we misplace our copies of tickets. When you write 1500 in a year, misplacing a copy or two is not unheard of. Consequently, the Officer will say something to the effect of, "You're Honor, I was unable to locate my copy of the citation and I have no independent recollection of this violation. I'd like to dismiss the case in the interest of justice."
The Judge will then ask the defendant, "Do you have any objection?" I've seen defendants clutching their pile of sketches, copies of the Vehicle Code, printouts from Google Maps look up at the Judge and say, "I want to have my say."
Seriously?!? The Judge will strongly encourage them to shut up (not his words) and explain that the State has not met its burden of proof and they may very well talk themselves into a guilty verdict.
It happened to me once. My defendant was adamant that she didn't commit the violation (nice lady, by the by) and wanted her day in court. The Judge told her it was up to her, but if he were her, he'd take the dismissal. She did. However, she caught me in the hall and we talked about the case. I had forgotten all about it and honestly had no independent recollection. As soon as she started talking to me, it all came flooding back. I'd have won. Good thing she was smart enough to keep her pie-hole shut, huh?
It never ceases to amaze me that people just can't keep their opinions to themselves. I love seeing someone spends what had to be hours on that shadow box re-enactment of the alleged violation (now with cycling traffic signals!!) only to see them pissed off when they win without having to introduce their new pride and joy. HI-larious.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting patiently in the court room waiting for my defendant's name to get called. I looked around the court room and saw a young lady holding a large piece of white poster board. I could just tell she'd put all kinds of time into her defense. She got called forward. She got up, a look of grim determination on her face. She was a teenager and it seemed as if her folks had encouraged her to experience the justice system first hand.
She approached the defendant's lectern and looked over to where all the Officers had stood in earlier cases. No one was there. Confusion tap danced across her naive face. The Judge asked, "Are you Suzy X. Teenager?" She squeaked out, "Yes, sir." The Judge said, "The officer isn't here, this is dismissed." She won, but the confusion still semi-registered on her face.
My case was called next and I blew through my testimony and won (C'mon...you doubt me?) I happened to walk out of the court house just in front of the teenager. She was on the phone with her Mom and was jabbering on about how she won because the Cop didn't show. She didn't seem too upset about all the work she put in, but based on the one-sided conversation, Mom had a bit of a hard time with it. The kid was elated she wasn't found guilty. She said, "I don't care about the evidence...I won! That's all that matters."
In other cases, though, I've seen defendants nearly talk themselves into a guilty verdict. If we, the Po-Po, don't show up for court, the State hasn't proven its case against the defendant, so it is automatically dismissed. Sometimes, we misplace our copies of tickets. When you write 1500 in a year, misplacing a copy or two is not unheard of. Consequently, the Officer will say something to the effect of, "You're Honor, I was unable to locate my copy of the citation and I have no independent recollection of this violation. I'd like to dismiss the case in the interest of justice."
The Judge will then ask the defendant, "Do you have any objection?" I've seen defendants clutching their pile of sketches, copies of the Vehicle Code, printouts from Google Maps look up at the Judge and say, "I want to have my say."
Seriously?!? The Judge will strongly encourage them to shut up (not his words) and explain that the State has not met its burden of proof and they may very well talk themselves into a guilty verdict.
It happened to me once. My defendant was adamant that she didn't commit the violation (nice lady, by the by) and wanted her day in court. The Judge told her it was up to her, but if he were her, he'd take the dismissal. She did. However, she caught me in the hall and we talked about the case. I had forgotten all about it and honestly had no independent recollection. As soon as she started talking to me, it all came flooding back. I'd have won. Good thing she was smart enough to keep her pie-hole shut, huh?
It never ceases to amaze me that people just can't keep their opinions to themselves. I love seeing someone spends what had to be hours on that shadow box re-enactment of the alleged violation (now with cycling traffic signals!!) only to see them pissed off when they win without having to introduce their new pride and joy. HI-larious.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday's Question
Yes, I know it's Monday. Shut up...
This week's question comes from Annoying Mouse (self-proclaimed):
Excellent question, Mouse. I, as per usual, can only attest to my personal journey and operate under the assumption that different departments have different policies and procedures. With that in mind, however, I can answer your question.
In my case, I showed a, shall we say, predisposition to the issuing of citations. When I was in patrol, I, on average, would issue three times the number of moving violations as our traffic car and as much, if not more, than other patrol officers. That's not to say that the other members of my department were lazy. They just didn't dig it as much as I did/do.
I have been on a bike since '84. I was a passenger for the first ten years on my Dad's '84 Honda Goldwing. We took that bike camping pretty much all over the western half of the U.S. From two week trips to the Grand Canyon to 10 days up to Canada. In '95, I traded in my 81 Honda Civic (can you say chick magnet!?) for a '92 Honda Nighthawk 750. In '03, I bought an '02 Honda VTX 1800 Retro (now you can say chick magnet). So, yeah, I had a motorcycle license.
My particular department doesn't require you to have an M1 endorsement on your license to put in for the position (but it doesn't hurt). You do, however, need one to attend Motor School.
Motor School is a two week, 80-hr course designed to improve a rider's skill. Mostly, it's very slow speed cone pattern work. I fucking hated it. Most guys I've talked to go on and on about how great their motor school was. Not me. I damn near quit.
It wasn't that it was over the top hard. It wasn't that I wasn't used to the bike they provided (a stripped down Kawasaki). I just couldn't get out of my own head. I'd been riding forever, but I couldn't bring myself to complete all the patterns without either hitting too many cones or dumping the bike.
Oh...and if anyone tells you they got through Motor School without dumping their bike, they are either a) the best rider on the face of the Earth or b) a huge fucking liar. We ALL dump it at some point...and some repeatedly....it's part of training and makes you better.
Once again, I relied on the Wife to get me through a tough time. I called her on a lunch break and said I was seriously considering throwing in the towel. She talked me down, encouraged me to continue and said to just do my best. I went back to the school before the lunch break was over and took one of the bikes on the course. (I don't think they really wanted us to do that with no instructors around for liability reasons, but what they didn't know couldn't hurt 'em).
First time out I finished every pattern without hitting a solitary cone and never put the bike on its side. As soon as I did that, I knew I could do it regardless of who was watching. That was my whole hang up...being observed. Well shit, I get observed everyday, right? Why should this be any different? For the rest of the week, I was right as rain and sailed through the remainder of the school.
The 80 hr school is simply for the operation of the motorcycle. Then comes the intensive Accident Investigation courses. I won't get into the specifics of each class, but I'll give you the list and hours involved.
Basic - 40
Intermediate - 40
Advanced - 80
CRUSH - 40
TAR (Traffic Accident Reconstruction) - 80
TAR II - 40
Leica Training (Forensic Mapping) - 40
Vista FX (CAD program to assist Forensic Mapping) - 40
There are other classes (Veh vs. Ped, Veh vs. Motorcycle) that I have yet to take, but the above list gives you an idea of the training we go through to investigate collisions. By my count (and considering the amount of math in these classes, my count should be accurate!), that is 320 hours of accident specific investigation and 80 hrs of additional training to assist in the mapping/reconstruction of the collision. Not everyone enjoys the math as much as I, but more often that not, if you're a Motor, you're required to complete the lion's share of this training.
Being a Motor in my department also means you're a member of the team that investigates major injury/fatal collisions. That's why we need all the above training.
So my job is more than just writing tickets...although it is the part that is both the most fun and the more common.
Well, Mouse, that should about sum it up. If you're looking for a shorter answer...yes, you need an M1 and then, yes, you will get picked. :)
Thanks for the question and I look forward to getting more from the rest of you. I've got a few still stored up from the past week or two, but don't be shy. If I keep getting more questions, I'll post more than once a week.
This week's question comes from Annoying Mouse (self-proclaimed):
I think it would be interesting for your readers to know what training an officer has to be a motor cop i.e. have a motorcycle license and you get picked?
Excellent question, Mouse. I, as per usual, can only attest to my personal journey and operate under the assumption that different departments have different policies and procedures. With that in mind, however, I can answer your question.
In my case, I showed a, shall we say, predisposition to the issuing of citations. When I was in patrol, I, on average, would issue three times the number of moving violations as our traffic car and as much, if not more, than other patrol officers. That's not to say that the other members of my department were lazy. They just didn't dig it as much as I did/do.
I have been on a bike since '84. I was a passenger for the first ten years on my Dad's '84 Honda Goldwing. We took that bike camping pretty much all over the western half of the U.S. From two week trips to the Grand Canyon to 10 days up to Canada. In '95, I traded in my 81 Honda Civic (can you say chick magnet!?) for a '92 Honda Nighthawk 750. In '03, I bought an '02 Honda VTX 1800 Retro (now you can say chick magnet). So, yeah, I had a motorcycle license.
My particular department doesn't require you to have an M1 endorsement on your license to put in for the position (but it doesn't hurt). You do, however, need one to attend Motor School.
Motor School is a two week, 80-hr course designed to improve a rider's skill. Mostly, it's very slow speed cone pattern work. I fucking hated it. Most guys I've talked to go on and on about how great their motor school was. Not me. I damn near quit.
It wasn't that it was over the top hard. It wasn't that I wasn't used to the bike they provided (a stripped down Kawasaki). I just couldn't get out of my own head. I'd been riding forever, but I couldn't bring myself to complete all the patterns without either hitting too many cones or dumping the bike.
Oh...and if anyone tells you they got through Motor School without dumping their bike, they are either a) the best rider on the face of the Earth or b) a huge fucking liar. We ALL dump it at some point...and some repeatedly....it's part of training and makes you better.
Once again, I relied on the Wife to get me through a tough time. I called her on a lunch break and said I was seriously considering throwing in the towel. She talked me down, encouraged me to continue and said to just do my best. I went back to the school before the lunch break was over and took one of the bikes on the course. (I don't think they really wanted us to do that with no instructors around for liability reasons, but what they didn't know couldn't hurt 'em).
First time out I finished every pattern without hitting a solitary cone and never put the bike on its side. As soon as I did that, I knew I could do it regardless of who was watching. That was my whole hang up...being observed. Well shit, I get observed everyday, right? Why should this be any different? For the rest of the week, I was right as rain and sailed through the remainder of the school.
The 80 hr school is simply for the operation of the motorcycle. Then comes the intensive Accident Investigation courses. I won't get into the specifics of each class, but I'll give you the list and hours involved.
Basic - 40
Intermediate - 40
Advanced - 80
CRUSH - 40
TAR (Traffic Accident Reconstruction) - 80
TAR II - 40
Leica Training (Forensic Mapping) - 40
Vista FX (CAD program to assist Forensic Mapping) - 40
There are other classes (Veh vs. Ped, Veh vs. Motorcycle) that I have yet to take, but the above list gives you an idea of the training we go through to investigate collisions. By my count (and considering the amount of math in these classes, my count should be accurate!), that is 320 hours of accident specific investigation and 80 hrs of additional training to assist in the mapping/reconstruction of the collision. Not everyone enjoys the math as much as I, but more often that not, if you're a Motor, you're required to complete the lion's share of this training.
Being a Motor in my department also means you're a member of the team that investigates major injury/fatal collisions. That's why we need all the above training.
So my job is more than just writing tickets...although it is the part that is both the most fun and the more common.
Well, Mouse, that should about sum it up. If you're looking for a shorter answer...yes, you need an M1 and then, yes, you will get picked. :)
Thanks for the question and I look forward to getting more from the rest of you. I've got a few still stored up from the past week or two, but don't be shy. If I keep getting more questions, I'll post more than once a week.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Addendum to the "Ashing" post
I just stopped a 28 year old woman for flicking the ash from her cigarette from her vehicle. She said, "I didn't know it was illegal." Okay, fair enough. Unfortunately, ignorance is no excuse for violating the law. I explained the inherent danger in throwing a lit, burning substance from a car and how it could light something on fire.
She again repeated, "I just didn't know. I figured it was legal because of the biodegradable aspect."
?!?
Uh...the biodegradable aspect? You mean the carcinogen within the ash is biodegradable? Or the house you could burn to the fucking ground?
Science is fun.
She again repeated, "I just didn't know. I figured it was legal because of the biodegradable aspect."
?!?
Uh...the biodegradable aspect? You mean the carcinogen within the ash is biodegradable? Or the house you could burn to the fucking ground?
Science is fun.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
My new toy
Hey all....
I might be a bit behind for the next few days. The new bike is in and I'll be breaking it in for the next couple of weeks. I'll be updating still, but for the next few days I'll most likely be out of commission. Today is an 18 hr day and then its a four day weekend camping with the Fam & Friends.
Worry not...I'll be posting some pics of the ridiculous new bike next week. I have a plan in the, well, planning stages regarding updating the look of the blog to include the new bike, but I need to make some inquiries as to how to make that happen.
Take care and be safe and I'll see you all in a few days. I will leave you with the following one word description of the new bike appropriately stretched into many syllables:
SSSIIIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!
I might be a bit behind for the next few days. The new bike is in and I'll be breaking it in for the next couple of weeks. I'll be updating still, but for the next few days I'll most likely be out of commission. Today is an 18 hr day and then its a four day weekend camping with the Fam & Friends.
Worry not...I'll be posting some pics of the ridiculous new bike next week. I have a plan in the, well, planning stages regarding updating the look of the blog to include the new bike, but I need to make some inquiries as to how to make that happen.
Take care and be safe and I'll see you all in a few days. I will leave you with the following one word description of the new bike appropriately stretched into many syllables:
SSSIIIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
This one is directed at you, Lance Armstrong
**This post is not directed to Lance Armstrong. I find him to be a stellar athlete and a wonderful human. Live Strong.***
Ok. I'm bound to piss some of you off with this one, but keep an open mind and hear me out...at least the overall point...
Listen, weekend cyclist guy/gal. I get the fact that you love your swell Trek or Specialized. I don't necessarily understand the need to garb yourself in heinous colors that are too tight for most people to wear, but hey, different strokes. Here's the thing, though...CVC 21200(a) states in part:
Every person riding a bicycle upon a highway has all the rights and is subject to all the provisions applicable to the driver of a vehicle.
What does that mean for you, Tour de France wannabe? That means when you see the fucking big red sign with the word "STOP" on it? Yeah, you have to stop. When you see that light box on the arm of that big 'ol metal pole thingy and the top red colored light is blazing away? Yeah, you have to stop.
Look, I understand that cars don't pay as much attention to you. I'm on a Motor, remember? We both have two wheels. That makes us cousins. Sorta. More like cousins twice removed. We could probably legally marry and have kids that wouldn't have three arms and no nipples. I know it's dangerous; however, let me throw this little factoid at you. In the three years I have been in the Traffic Unit, we've investigated a number of collisions involving bicycles. A rough estimate? More than 80% of the fault lies with the cyclist (and that's a conservative estimate). Of those where the car is more at fault, the cyclist typically is an associated factor in the collision.
My point to all of this? If you wanna save yourself some drama (of the violation kind) or some trauma (of the visit to the ER kind), do both of us a favor and don't ride like an A-hole, okay? This means you, pack of 50 neon-clad dorks taking up an entire lane of traffic. Guess what? You don't have the right to do that. Much as you like to think you do, you do not. Hey, if all 50 of you can stack up laterally in a bike lane, knock yourselves out; however, if you can't, you're required to ride single file and as close to the right roadway edge as you can.
Believe it or not, the rules of the road are set up to protect you. If not from idiot motorists, then from yourselves. I'm all for engaging in some healthy exercise (regardless of the silly looking padded ass pants, Melinda) (There is no Melinda. I was channeling Dr. Cox from Scrubs.) (I apologize to any and Melindas reading this. I in no way meant to offend you.))), but what say you do it safely, huh?
Now get on out there and ride your 100 miles. I'll beat you there. 'Cause I'm on a motorcycle. And I look wwwwaaaayyyy cooler than you. Melinda (refer to above commentary).
Ok. I'm bound to piss some of you off with this one, but keep an open mind and hear me out...at least the overall point...
Listen, weekend cyclist guy/gal. I get the fact that you love your swell Trek or Specialized. I don't necessarily understand the need to garb yourself in heinous colors that are too tight for most people to wear, but hey, different strokes. Here's the thing, though...CVC 21200(a) states in part:
Every person riding a bicycle upon a highway has all the rights and is subject to all the provisions applicable to the driver of a vehicle.
What does that mean for you, Tour de France wannabe? That means when you see the fucking big red sign with the word "STOP" on it? Yeah, you have to stop. When you see that light box on the arm of that big 'ol metal pole thingy and the top red colored light is blazing away? Yeah, you have to stop.
Look, I understand that cars don't pay as much attention to you. I'm on a Motor, remember? We both have two wheels. That makes us cousins. Sorta. More like cousins twice removed. We could probably legally marry and have kids that wouldn't have three arms and no nipples. I know it's dangerous; however, let me throw this little factoid at you. In the three years I have been in the Traffic Unit, we've investigated a number of collisions involving bicycles. A rough estimate? More than 80% of the fault lies with the cyclist (and that's a conservative estimate). Of those where the car is more at fault, the cyclist typically is an associated factor in the collision.
My point to all of this? If you wanna save yourself some drama (of the violation kind) or some trauma (of the visit to the ER kind), do both of us a favor and don't ride like an A-hole, okay? This means you, pack of 50 neon-clad dorks taking up an entire lane of traffic. Guess what? You don't have the right to do that. Much as you like to think you do, you do not. Hey, if all 50 of you can stack up laterally in a bike lane, knock yourselves out; however, if you can't, you're required to ride single file and as close to the right roadway edge as you can.
Believe it or not, the rules of the road are set up to protect you. If not from idiot motorists, then from yourselves. I'm all for engaging in some healthy exercise (regardless of the silly looking padded ass pants, Melinda) (There is no Melinda. I was channeling Dr. Cox from Scrubs.) (I apologize to any and Melindas reading this. I in no way meant to offend you.))), but what say you do it safely, huh?
Now get on out there and ride your 100 miles. I'll beat you there. 'Cause I'm on a motorcycle. And I look wwwwaaaayyyy cooler than you. Melinda (refer to above commentary).
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
XBox 360 Players?
It occurred to me a few minutes ago that perhaps I can reach out and interact with some of you in a different way.
I am on XBox Live, much to the Wife's chagrin. You can find me under the tag, brace yourself....Motorcop. Send me a friend request and lets blow some shit up!
I am on XBox Live, much to the Wife's chagrin. You can find me under the tag, brace yourself....Motorcop. Send me a friend request and lets blow some shit up!
Monday, April 20, 2009
The jig is up!
Look out, people....big brother is on to us!!!
I was recently advised by a reader (thank you, Aaron!) that a CBS media type has linked to this very site! Brittney Gilbert is the young lady responsible for CBS 5's look at Bay Area blogs. Right from the source:
Eye on Blogs aims to be a one-stop source for hot topics and discussions happening on Bay Area blogs. We sift through hundreds of sites on a daily basis, offering up links to and commentary on the brightest, funniest, most engaging posts made by local bloggers, while providing a place to interact and converse about the issues of the day.
I was recently advised by a reader (thank you, Aaron!) that a CBS media type has linked to this very site! Brittney Gilbert is the young lady responsible for CBS 5's look at Bay Area blogs. Right from the source:
Eye on Blogs aims to be a one-stop source for hot topics and discussions happening on Bay Area blogs. We sift through hundreds of sites on a daily basis, offering up links to and commentary on the brightest, funniest, most engaging posts made by local bloggers, while providing a place to interact and converse about the issues of the day.
Initially, all I was able to find was a minor blurb in one of her posts where there were a number of other selections to choose from. I still thought it was pretty damn cool. I called the Wife to tell her about it. Being the industrious little monkey that she is, she hopped on the site and found a few more mentions...only this time, they were solely in regards to my blog.
I thought it was cool enough to begin with, but now I thought it was truly awesome. I saw a post on Miss Gilbert's site in regards to the smoker post. My thought was "Holy shit...I just posted this one this morning!" Well now I was even more curious about Miss Gilbert. I googled her and found her very own blog. (And just an aside here...I have become more comfortable with the word 'blog', but googling just sounds dirty.) And being a firm believer in spreading the wealth, I wanted to apprise you lot of her work. She is more educated and more experienced than I in the blogosphere. I was going to say she's prettier as well, but, hey, come on. I'm a Motor. We're prettier. ;-)
I thought it was cool enough to begin with, but now I thought it was truly awesome. I saw a post on Miss Gilbert's site in regards to the smoker post. My thought was "Holy shit...I just posted this one this morning!" Well now I was even more curious about Miss Gilbert. I googled her and found her very own blog. (And just an aside here...I have become more comfortable with the word 'blog', but googling just sounds dirty.) And being a firm believer in spreading the wealth, I wanted to apprise you lot of her work. She is more educated and more experienced than I in the blogosphere. I was going to say she's prettier as well, but, hey, come on. I'm a Motor. We're prettier. ;-)
I was honored to be included and just wanted to send my virtual thanks for being counted amongst what I assume to be a vast number of blogs in the Bay Area. Oh, and I apologize for eventually offending you...Man, I couldn't pull that off without laughing. It's hard to laugh and type.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Who you callin' a TV whore?!?
Me? Oh. Well, then. Fair enough...
I'm gonna hop on my TV high horse for a sec...hang on. Hyuh! Ok...I'm saddled up. You'll forgive the deviation from Law Enforcement topics, but this needed saying.
I am sick and tired of great shows being cancelled! Arrested Development, people! Really? I'll even give a shout to Joss Whedon for Firefly. Unfortunately, I wasn't turned onto that show till DVD, and believe me, it was most assuredly my loss. However, Mal (sort of) lives on in ABC's Castle. It incorporates two of my favorite things...cop shows and books about cop stuff (Castle is an author of mystery novels). Nathan Fillion (Mal from Firefly) plays Castle and Stana Katic (the female lead)...well she's not difficult to look at. **Easy, honey, I said look.**
The other cop show that premiered last week was Southland. I'm in. Fantastic casting, great camera work, cool story line. It's gritty, raw, and emotional. Think NYPD Blue for the 21st century (at least this is my hope).
Right about now you may be asking, "MC? Why the hell are you bothering me with this? Go back to your snarky goodness, will you?" I will, I will. Pushy bastards. My point is, it'd be nice if some decent shows could stay on my escapist picture makey thing longer than three months.
I don't give a shit about which strung out, skanky, whorebag Bret Michaels is currently knocking the bottom out of. Truly. And I like Poison. (Not really sure what that has to do with anything, but you're still reading, so who's the joke really on?)
So, please. Do me a favor will ya? At least Tivo these two shows and delete 'em later. Leave 'em on in the background while your giving your French Bulldog a manicure. Just help a brother out! I'm begging you, here!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
I'm gonna hop on my TV high horse for a sec...hang on. Hyuh! Ok...I'm saddled up. You'll forgive the deviation from Law Enforcement topics, but this needed saying.
I am sick and tired of great shows being cancelled! Arrested Development, people! Really? I'll even give a shout to Joss Whedon for Firefly. Unfortunately, I wasn't turned onto that show till DVD, and believe me, it was most assuredly my loss. However, Mal (sort of) lives on in ABC's Castle. It incorporates two of my favorite things...cop shows and books about cop stuff (Castle is an author of mystery novels). Nathan Fillion (Mal from Firefly) plays Castle and Stana Katic (the female lead)...well she's not difficult to look at. **Easy, honey, I said look.**
The other cop show that premiered last week was Southland. I'm in. Fantastic casting, great camera work, cool story line. It's gritty, raw, and emotional. Think NYPD Blue for the 21st century (at least this is my hope).
Right about now you may be asking, "MC? Why the hell are you bothering me with this? Go back to your snarky goodness, will you?" I will, I will. Pushy bastards. My point is, it'd be nice if some decent shows could stay on my escapist picture makey thing longer than three months.
I don't give a shit about which strung out, skanky, whorebag Bret Michaels is currently knocking the bottom out of. Truly. And I like Poison. (Not really sure what that has to do with anything, but you're still reading, so who's the joke really on?)
So, please. Do me a favor will ya? At least Tivo these two shows and delete 'em later. Leave 'em on in the background while your giving your French Bulldog a manicure. Just help a brother out! I'm begging you, here!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Saturday's Question
Hi Motorcop,
My question:I read somewhere that you'll be pulled over only if you're going faster than 10mph over the speed limit. Is this true?I've noticed that the cops tend to exceed the speed limit themselves in the city/county by about 5/10 mph. And one time I was pulled over (for bad registration), by CHP I think, and they put both the "posted speed limit" and my speed at 45 mph when I was actually doing about 45 in a 40 zone. And does it depend on the speed limit, like doing 45 in a 35 is worse than doing 55 in a 45? I'm in CA, if it's just a regional thing.
Thanks, August
Okay. Well, first off, I'd like to thank August and the rest of you that submitted questions. I'll continue to accept any and all questions you may have and, depending on the amount, I'll update at least weekly.
To August's question.
CVC 22350 states, "No person shall drive a vehicle upon a highway at a speed greater than is reasonable or prudent having due regard for weather, visibility, the traffic on, and the surface and width of, the highway, and in no event at a speed which endangers the safety of persons or property."
There are a couple different things to consider with regard to your question. One is Department Policy. The other is spirit vs. letter of the law. Every department is different and thus have different policies. I'm not, nor have I ever been, CHP. I have, however, had occasion to talk to one or two. Their policy regarding speed (and I assume it is strictly regarding speeding on the freeway) distinguishes between may and must cite. My figures could be off a bit, since its been awhile since we talked about it, but, if memory serves, I believe if the driver is traveling between 70 MPH and 75 MPH (in a posted 65MPH zone), the officer has the discretion to cite (think may). If the driver is traveling over 75 MPH, department policy states they must stop and cite. Now, my numbers may be off (it may be 80, not 75, but I'm not positive), but the principle remains.
My department differs. We don't usually patrol the freeways. That's not to say we can't. We are state sworn officers at the end of the day, but we typically leave that to CHP. My department doesn't have a policy regarding how fast is too fast. As a Motor in Town, I'm left with a lot of leeway. 22350 is fairly vague and seems to lean more towards the spirit side of the argument. Allow me to explain...
The spirit of the law is more like what the overall intention of the law is. For example, is driving 40MPH in a 35MPH zone speeding? Depends. Is it raining? Is it foggy? Are there a ton of pedestrians? What's the roadway surface like? It can vary day to day. The spirit of 22350 seems to be that a driver just shouldn't drive dangerously. What's dangerous to you may not be dangerous to a NASCAR driver.
Letter of the law is much more black and white. If you do x,y, or z, you have committed a crime. Something like running a red light is more in line with the letter of the law based simply on the way it is worded.
Another caveat to this is the 85th percentile in a traffic/engineering survey. Without getting too technical, a survey is basically what allows us to use Radar or Lidar in conjunction with speed enforcement on a given roadway. Within the survey is something called "critical speed" or the 85th percentile. Dictionary.com defines percentile as "One of the values of a variable that divides the distribution of the variable into 100 groups having equal frequencies: 85 percent of the values lie at or below the 85th percentile, fifteen percent above it." Basically, its a fancy mathematical way to determine the speed limit.
Say, for example, a road in Town has a speed limit of 30MPH. The critical speed may well be 35.67MPH. That means 85% of people are traveling at that speed or slower. At some point in the legislative process somebody smarter than me determined 35.67MPH justifies a speed limit of 30MPH. Why not 35MPH? Because then people would drive just a little faster than that. You see where it has the potential to go.
I won't get into the issue of what defines a speed trap in this post, but it is related to surveys and 85th percentiles. You can delve into that subject in a past post. Now that I've said all this boring shit, I can only speak for what I do. Will I stop you and cite you for driving 10MPH over the limit? Maybe. It really depends on what 22350 mentions...weather, traffic, road surface, etc.
In the past, I have lowered the safe speed limit when it's pissing rain. I don't change the speed limit signs, but common sense should tell you if you can't see 15' ahead of you, maybe you should reduce your speed.
I have a cutoff speed for everywhere in Town. It wavers around the 13MPH mark, but again, it depends on the roadway and varying factors on any given day. With specific regard to your question, "I read somewhere that you'll be pulled over only if you're going faster than 10mph over the speed limit. Is this true?" No. It's not true. Mostly.
And here's a real mind fuck for you....I can stop you for going too slow, as well! I know, I'm totally blowing your mind right now!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Come on, Capt., you should know better.
Okay, I'll say it. Professional courtesy has a place in this industry. Throw in the fact that I'm a retired Firefighter's kid, odds are cops and firefighters get more warnings than cites from me. But here's the thing, two things, actually, 1)Don't be a dick and 2)Don't do something you should damn well know better than to do.
If you violate rule #1, I will cite you. I don't care who you are (or who you think you are). If you have some sort of holier-than-thou, we-both-know-you-aren't-gonna-cite-me, I'm-entitled-to-a-break, attitude? Guess what, Sally? You're getting a fucking ticket. And now you know why.
To be fair, I rarely run into rule #1 violators. I can literally count them on one hand. #2, on the other hand, happened just this week....please to enjoy...
I was in front of a pickup truck (clue #1...the truck) at a stop sign when I saw the driver put his left hand out the window. The left hand held a cigarette. The thumb flicked the butt and ash fell from the cigarette. One of my pet peeves. A lot of people misconstrue the violation (CVC 23111), but let me assure you, flicking your ash out the window is the same thing as straight throwing your butt out the window. It's a lit substance. Lit substances have the ability to start other shit on fire. Fire bad. Fire destroy property and, quite possibly, life.
Anytime I see someone flicking ash out their window, they get a ticket. Oh, and it ain't cheap. I don't have a specific number, but it's in the $500 range. This is my mindset when I light this guy up. I contacted him and he handed me his CDL and, what's this?, his Fire Dept. ID. Are you fucking kidding me? The ID (I won't identify the department) identified him as a Captain. A Captain?!?! What the fuck? I asked him if he knew why I stopped him. His response, "Yeah, I didn't have my seatbelt on."
**Remember that scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off when Ferris realizes the schmucks at the parking garage took that sweet car out for a joyride? Remember Cameron's reaction? Yeah, that's the one. In my head, I did the same thing.**
MC: Wait. Let me get this straight. You didn't have your seatbelt on?
Capt: That's right.
MC: *sigh* I stopped you because you're ashing out your window. Shit, Cap, you should know better.
Capt (shakes his head): Yeah, I know.
Now it's decision time. I'm struggling with my inner Motor and my inner Firekid. Motor says, "Cite this mother fucker. He damn well knew better." Firekid says, "Hey man, cut him a break, he's a firefighter, just like your Dad." ARGH!!!
In the end, I decided on a compromise. I warned him for the ash and cited him for the seatbelt. My rationalization was that I'm still penalizing him and the seatbelt (at this time of year) was more of an inherent danger. I must admit, though, as I write this I'm wishing I'd have ragged him for the ash, or both. 'Cause here's the thing...this guy is nothing like my Dad. My Dad had ocean's more respect for both his life, his family's life and the world in which we live to so callously and without thought treat his neighborhood like his own personal ash tray.
I know they're out there. Men and women in both my Dad's and my professions that treat it like nothing more than a paycheck. It's just frustrating when I run across them. I had them on such a huge pedestal as a kid. Seeing them through the eyes of a grown, responsible man can be a bummer. Sometimes, you just don't want your childhood heroes to be sullied by some irresponsible douche.
I want my kids to look at me the way I looked, and still look, at my Dad. Here's to hoping. Lord knows I'll do all I can.
Oh, if it sounds like I'm being a bit over-critical, I must have forgotten to mention Capt. is on probation for DUI. Yeah. Totally should've ragged him for both. Oh well, lesson learned.
If you violate rule #1, I will cite you. I don't care who you are (or who you think you are). If you have some sort of holier-than-thou, we-both-know-you-aren't-gonna-cite-me, I'm-entitled-to-a-break, attitude? Guess what, Sally? You're getting a fucking ticket. And now you know why.
To be fair, I rarely run into rule #1 violators. I can literally count them on one hand. #2, on the other hand, happened just this week....please to enjoy...
I was in front of a pickup truck (clue #1...the truck) at a stop sign when I saw the driver put his left hand out the window. The left hand held a cigarette. The thumb flicked the butt and ash fell from the cigarette. One of my pet peeves. A lot of people misconstrue the violation (CVC 23111), but let me assure you, flicking your ash out the window is the same thing as straight throwing your butt out the window. It's a lit substance. Lit substances have the ability to start other shit on fire. Fire bad. Fire destroy property and, quite possibly, life.
Anytime I see someone flicking ash out their window, they get a ticket. Oh, and it ain't cheap. I don't have a specific number, but it's in the $500 range. This is my mindset when I light this guy up. I contacted him and he handed me his CDL and, what's this?, his Fire Dept. ID. Are you fucking kidding me? The ID (I won't identify the department) identified him as a Captain. A Captain?!?! What the fuck? I asked him if he knew why I stopped him. His response, "Yeah, I didn't have my seatbelt on."
**Remember that scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off when Ferris realizes the schmucks at the parking garage took that sweet car out for a joyride? Remember Cameron's reaction? Yeah, that's the one. In my head, I did the same thing.**
MC: Wait. Let me get this straight. You didn't have your seatbelt on?
Capt: That's right.
MC: *sigh* I stopped you because you're ashing out your window. Shit, Cap, you should know better.
Capt (shakes his head): Yeah, I know.
Now it's decision time. I'm struggling with my inner Motor and my inner Firekid. Motor says, "Cite this mother fucker. He damn well knew better." Firekid says, "Hey man, cut him a break, he's a firefighter, just like your Dad." ARGH!!!
In the end, I decided on a compromise. I warned him for the ash and cited him for the seatbelt. My rationalization was that I'm still penalizing him and the seatbelt (at this time of year) was more of an inherent danger. I must admit, though, as I write this I'm wishing I'd have ragged him for the ash, or both. 'Cause here's the thing...this guy is nothing like my Dad. My Dad had ocean's more respect for both his life, his family's life and the world in which we live to so callously and without thought treat his neighborhood like his own personal ash tray.
I know they're out there. Men and women in both my Dad's and my professions that treat it like nothing more than a paycheck. It's just frustrating when I run across them. I had them on such a huge pedestal as a kid. Seeing them through the eyes of a grown, responsible man can be a bummer. Sometimes, you just don't want your childhood heroes to be sullied by some irresponsible douche.
I want my kids to look at me the way I looked, and still look, at my Dad. Here's to hoping. Lord knows I'll do all I can.
Oh, if it sounds like I'm being a bit over-critical, I must have forgotten to mention Capt. is on probation for DUI. Yeah. Totally should've ragged him for both. Oh well, lesson learned.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Hey. You're under arrest. Part II
This should be subtitled "One of the easiest arrests. Ever."
There are a couple of funny things that happened during this evening. The first I posted about here. The second was our last stop of the nite. You know, the one you never really want to do, but what the hell, it won't take long, right?
My partner and I were planning on slowing our mutual roll long before 0040 hours as we were scheduled to go off duty at 0100. By this time, my partner was driving...I guess since I had been awake for about 20 hours, he felt a wee more comfortable driving us around. Can't say I blame him.
Anyway, about 0040 hours, my partner saw a car and decided he was heading toward the PD, so we'd follow him and see if he did anything stupid. If he did, we'd lite him up, if not, PD it is.
I shit you not, less than 1/2 mile from the PD, dude drives in the bike lane. Again, close enough for government work. We lite him up. But he keeps driving. And driving. He makes a right. And keeps driving. And driving. It's the middle of the blessed nite, people. It ain't like you can't notice bright ass lights 20' off your rear bumper. For a second, I thought we were going to be in a pursuit. It had been quite some time since I've been able to call one, so I was getting that adrenaline rush/happy/this is gonna be fun feeling.
Suddenly, dude hooks a quick right and slows down. He comes to a stop. Puss. We get out of our car. My partner walked up to the driver's side and I to the passenger side. Stupid Drunk Guy, (SDG from here on out), is alone in the car. I heard the following:
My partner: You can't possibly be the guy I talked to a few hours ago about a free ride.
SDG: No, that was last nite.
MP: No, it was three hours ago. In front of Local Shitty Hole in the Wall that Happens to Serve Beer. Get out of the car.
SDG makes his way to the sidewalk. Before we said word one to this idiot he says, "I can't do any DUI tests. I have a bad knee." Awesome.
MP: Sir, are you refusing to do any FSTs?
SDG: Yes.
MP: Okay. Are you willing to provide a breath sample?
SDG: No.
No sooner had I requested another unit to our location with a PAS, I got back on the air, canceled them and advised we had one in custody for DUI.
MP: Sir, you are under arrest for DUI. Would you like to provide a breath or blood sample?
SDG: No.
MP: Sir, if you refuse the state required blood or breath test it is an automatic one year suspension of your driver's license. Do you understand that?
SDG: Yes.
MP: Will you provide a sample?
SDG: No.
MP: Sir, understand that if you refuse to provide us with a sample, we will forcibly remove blood from your body with the assistance of a blood tech.
SDG: I want to talk to a lawyer.
MP: We'll explain everything to you when we get to the station.
We transported SDG to the station and my partner read the refusal statutes we are required to read from DMV. In short, SDG has no right to consult an attorney at the time in question. The state requires a sample be given. End of story.
I gotta give credit to my partner. He was much, much more patient than I would have been. Even keeping in mind that we videotape refusals, I was still tempted to yank SDG out of his chair. He refused at every step, but, oddly enough, allowed the nurse to do her thing. Still counts as a refusal, though. Numb nuts.
The best part of this whole story? From the time of the stop to me walking out the door to go home was just shy of one hour. That's gotta be some kind of record. Kinda makes me wish everyone would refuse the tests.
There are a couple of funny things that happened during this evening. The first I posted about here. The second was our last stop of the nite. You know, the one you never really want to do, but what the hell, it won't take long, right?
My partner and I were planning on slowing our mutual roll long before 0040 hours as we were scheduled to go off duty at 0100. By this time, my partner was driving...I guess since I had been awake for about 20 hours, he felt a wee more comfortable driving us around. Can't say I blame him.
Anyway, about 0040 hours, my partner saw a car and decided he was heading toward the PD, so we'd follow him and see if he did anything stupid. If he did, we'd lite him up, if not, PD it is.
I shit you not, less than 1/2 mile from the PD, dude drives in the bike lane. Again, close enough for government work. We lite him up. But he keeps driving. And driving. He makes a right. And keeps driving. And driving. It's the middle of the blessed nite, people. It ain't like you can't notice bright ass lights 20' off your rear bumper. For a second, I thought we were going to be in a pursuit. It had been quite some time since I've been able to call one, so I was getting that adrenaline rush/happy/this is gonna be fun feeling.
Suddenly, dude hooks a quick right and slows down. He comes to a stop. Puss. We get out of our car. My partner walked up to the driver's side and I to the passenger side. Stupid Drunk Guy, (SDG from here on out), is alone in the car. I heard the following:
My partner: You can't possibly be the guy I talked to a few hours ago about a free ride.
SDG: No, that was last nite.
MP: No, it was three hours ago. In front of Local Shitty Hole in the Wall that Happens to Serve Beer. Get out of the car.
SDG makes his way to the sidewalk. Before we said word one to this idiot he says, "I can't do any DUI tests. I have a bad knee." Awesome.
MP: Sir, are you refusing to do any FSTs?
SDG: Yes.
MP: Okay. Are you willing to provide a breath sample?
SDG: No.
No sooner had I requested another unit to our location with a PAS, I got back on the air, canceled them and advised we had one in custody for DUI.
MP: Sir, you are under arrest for DUI. Would you like to provide a breath or blood sample?
SDG: No.
MP: Sir, if you refuse the state required blood or breath test it is an automatic one year suspension of your driver's license. Do you understand that?
SDG: Yes.
MP: Will you provide a sample?
SDG: No.
MP: Sir, understand that if you refuse to provide us with a sample, we will forcibly remove blood from your body with the assistance of a blood tech.
SDG: I want to talk to a lawyer.
MP: We'll explain everything to you when we get to the station.
We transported SDG to the station and my partner read the refusal statutes we are required to read from DMV. In short, SDG has no right to consult an attorney at the time in question. The state requires a sample be given. End of story.
I gotta give credit to my partner. He was much, much more patient than I would have been. Even keeping in mind that we videotape refusals, I was still tempted to yank SDG out of his chair. He refused at every step, but, oddly enough, allowed the nurse to do her thing. Still counts as a refusal, though. Numb nuts.
The best part of this whole story? From the time of the stop to me walking out the door to go home was just shy of one hour. That's gotta be some kind of record. Kinda makes me wish everyone would refuse the tests.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Man, that ain't cool!
It is my firm belief that when I leave this world, the pearly gates will open wide, St. Peter will hand me my very own personalized pint glass (inscribed with something like "Cheers, JC" on it), and I will be directed to the river of that Heavenly libation, Guinness.Having set the stage of my personal opinion on the origin of Guinness, I offer the following tale...
My partner and I were enjoying our usual cup of morning wake up juice when I saw a delivery truck pull up and stop near where we were standing. It was a Guinness truck. Now I had seen this particular truck and this particular driver on a number of occasions prior to that particular day. I had come to the opinion that he was mocking me early in the day because I was on duty and unable to enjoy the divine elixir that is Guinness. Well, that just won't do.
I walked over to him and had the following conversation:
MC: Sir, I'm gonna have to impound your truck.
GG (Guinness Guy): Huh? Did I park illegally.
MC: No, you're good, but I'm sick and tired of seeing you drive around town mocking me.
GG (kind of sees where its going and smirks): Uh-huh.
MC: Seriously, man, get in your truck and follow me to my house. This isn't funny anymore. You're just wrong.
GG (now laughing his ass off): Oh, man, you're killin' me. Thanks for the laugh.
MC: Who's joking?
He didn't take me seriously at all. I must be losing my skill. Dammit...
Addendum...
Every time I see that guy around Town now he smiles and waves. Jerk.
Addendum to the Addendum...
Not twenty minutes after I wrote this post, I saw the same truck driving around downtown. I thought to myself, "This is just too damn good to pass up." I stopped behind the truck, got out, and as I walked up to talk to the driver, recognition dawned on him and he smiled. Oh, that evil genius smile. I introduced myself and asked him if he'd mind a photo op. He was kind enough to consent.
Ladies and gentleman, I'd like to introduce to you, my new friend (or nemesis, I haven't decided which yet), Brandon...
Brandon, thanks for being a good sport as well as having the distinction of being the first guest photo on the blog. Now wipe that damn smile off your face and off to my house with that truck!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Hey. You're under arrest. Part I
This should be subtitled "You want the good news or the bad news?".
Yet once again, I worked a little OT the other nite (19 1/2 hour days are wicked long, by the way). Part of my OT was simple seatbelt enforcement (thank you CA for the grant money). The last part was DUI enforcement. Luckily, I was doubled up in a car with a partner, so I didn't drive my car into a tree while asleep at the wheel.
We actually had a very entertaining evening. The first of our customers came to our attention while we were sitting on a stop sign waiting for Johnny/Janey Drunkard to come tooling along and not stop...affectionately known as PC (Probable Cause). We saw a car riding the ass of the car immediately in front of it. Suddenly, the rear car pulled to the left and began driving parallel to the first car.
I saw the passenger yelling out the window at the first car. Close enough for government work. We pulled out and stopped the driver of the second car. I walked up and contacted the driver. Obvious smell of an alcoholic beverage (never say smell of alcohol, by the way, as it has no scent) came a-tumbling from the open driver's window. There's a front seat passenger as well. I asked the standard, "Hey, how much have you had to drink tonite?" I received the usual, "A couple of beers."
**Quick aside** I'd venture to guess that of all the DUI's I've investigated in the past five years, probably 85% of them answer "a couple (insert beverage of choice here). Bizarre.
Back to the fun. I pulled dude out of the car and bounced his eyes out (gentle euphemism, don't worry, I didn't actually remove his gelatinous orbs from his skull holes). "Bouncing his eyes" refers to Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus (HGN). Layman's terms, its basically watching how the eyes track back and forth following a single point of stimulus (e.g. pen or fingertip). HGN is the first thing I do. It gives me a sense of just how in the bag the driver may be. His eyes didn't track as smoothly as I'd like if I was just gonna cut him loose, so on with the FSTs (Field Sobriety Tests).
Long story, short, I ran him through the battery of tests and he was doing passably decent. However, prior to me conducting the FSTs, he overheard my partner and I talking about the warrant he had. I had to do a little tap dance to try and get him to forget about that little detail while I conducted my investigation. Eventually, I think he focused on what he needed to do, because his FSTs didn't completely suck.
The last thing I had him do was blow in the PAS (Preliminary Alcohol Screening device). It's more or less a field level breathalyzer for lack of a better term (and since I'm not testifying or anything). He blew a 0.029. I love the PAS. It takes a lot of guess work out of DUIs.
I told the driver, "Hey, man, you're actually not DUI." He briefly got a look of relief across his mug and said, "My buddy had a lot more to drink than me." I agreed with him and said, "Unfortunately, you've got a $90,000 warrant for your arrest for some drug charges. Sorry, dude." I tried the "look at the bright side" argument, but I don't think he was diggin' on it. Probably because he saw his car mate for the ride to jail was the town drunk and drunk guy was on his game.
Perhaps he shouldn't have had illegal drugs on his person a year ago. Just a thought, reactionary as it may be.
Yet once again, I worked a little OT the other nite (19 1/2 hour days are wicked long, by the way). Part of my OT was simple seatbelt enforcement (thank you CA for the grant money). The last part was DUI enforcement. Luckily, I was doubled up in a car with a partner, so I didn't drive my car into a tree while asleep at the wheel.
We actually had a very entertaining evening. The first of our customers came to our attention while we were sitting on a stop sign waiting for Johnny/Janey Drunkard to come tooling along and not stop...affectionately known as PC (Probable Cause). We saw a car riding the ass of the car immediately in front of it. Suddenly, the rear car pulled to the left and began driving parallel to the first car.
I saw the passenger yelling out the window at the first car. Close enough for government work. We pulled out and stopped the driver of the second car. I walked up and contacted the driver. Obvious smell of an alcoholic beverage (never say smell of alcohol, by the way, as it has no scent) came a-tumbling from the open driver's window. There's a front seat passenger as well. I asked the standard, "Hey, how much have you had to drink tonite?" I received the usual, "A couple of beers."
**Quick aside** I'd venture to guess that of all the DUI's I've investigated in the past five years, probably 85% of them answer "a couple (insert beverage of choice here). Bizarre.
Back to the fun. I pulled dude out of the car and bounced his eyes out (gentle euphemism, don't worry, I didn't actually remove his gelatinous orbs from his skull holes). "Bouncing his eyes" refers to Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus (HGN). Layman's terms, its basically watching how the eyes track back and forth following a single point of stimulus (e.g. pen or fingertip). HGN is the first thing I do. It gives me a sense of just how in the bag the driver may be. His eyes didn't track as smoothly as I'd like if I was just gonna cut him loose, so on with the FSTs (Field Sobriety Tests).
Long story, short, I ran him through the battery of tests and he was doing passably decent. However, prior to me conducting the FSTs, he overheard my partner and I talking about the warrant he had. I had to do a little tap dance to try and get him to forget about that little detail while I conducted my investigation. Eventually, I think he focused on what he needed to do, because his FSTs didn't completely suck.
The last thing I had him do was blow in the PAS (Preliminary Alcohol Screening device). It's more or less a field level breathalyzer for lack of a better term (and since I'm not testifying or anything). He blew a 0.029. I love the PAS. It takes a lot of guess work out of DUIs.
I told the driver, "Hey, man, you're actually not DUI." He briefly got a look of relief across his mug and said, "My buddy had a lot more to drink than me." I agreed with him and said, "Unfortunately, you've got a $90,000 warrant for your arrest for some drug charges. Sorry, dude." I tried the "look at the bright side" argument, but I don't think he was diggin' on it. Probably because he saw his car mate for the ride to jail was the town drunk and drunk guy was on his game.
Perhaps he shouldn't have had illegal drugs on his person a year ago. Just a thought, reactionary as it may be.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Nobody likes a Snitch.
Although the title is accurate, I'm gonna go ahead and tell on myself.
When I was a brand new Motor, I stopped a random guy for a random violation. Who he was and what he did are not pertinent to the story. I am always bitching about the idiocy I face on a daily basis. On this particular day, I was the idiot.
Take a minute to recover. It's okay. I found it surprising, too.
Fast forward to the end of the stop. The driver was a very nice guy, but I still cited him. Not terribly surprising. He was so nice, in fact, that as he parked in front of his buddy's house and got out, he turned back and waved to me. In the middle of my U-turn. Which caused me to wave back. In the middle of my U-turn.
As the left side of the bike ever so gently came to rest on the pavement, I thought to myself, "Now just what in the fuck are you doing, dumbass? You'd think with all your riding experience, you'd realize that maybe taking your hand off the fucking handlebar mid U-turn isn't the grandest of plans." True as that may be, it didn't stop me. I mean, the nice man waved to me. It'd be rude to ignore it, right? Yeah! Didn't stop the bike from hitting the pavement, but what was I to do?
Anyway, the nice man came running over to help me lift the bike back up. Of course, he asked me if I was okay. I'm sure I was about 15 different shades of embarrassed, but I told him I was just fine. I also asked him to get his copy of the ticket for me. He looked at me quizzically and handed it to me. At which point I ripped that bitch up into tiny, tiny, little shreds and thanked him for helping me. We also swore a blood oath never to speak of it again.
Until now, apparently. Now I have to excuse myself and research what the hell a blood oath is and how deep in shit I now am. You'll pardon me...
When I was a brand new Motor, I stopped a random guy for a random violation. Who he was and what he did are not pertinent to the story. I am always bitching about the idiocy I face on a daily basis. On this particular day, I was the idiot.
Take a minute to recover. It's okay. I found it surprising, too.
Fast forward to the end of the stop. The driver was a very nice guy, but I still cited him. Not terribly surprising. He was so nice, in fact, that as he parked in front of his buddy's house and got out, he turned back and waved to me. In the middle of my U-turn. Which caused me to wave back. In the middle of my U-turn.
As the left side of the bike ever so gently came to rest on the pavement, I thought to myself, "Now just what in the fuck are you doing, dumbass? You'd think with all your riding experience, you'd realize that maybe taking your hand off the fucking handlebar mid U-turn isn't the grandest of plans." True as that may be, it didn't stop me. I mean, the nice man waved to me. It'd be rude to ignore it, right? Yeah! Didn't stop the bike from hitting the pavement, but what was I to do?
Anyway, the nice man came running over to help me lift the bike back up. Of course, he asked me if I was okay. I'm sure I was about 15 different shades of embarrassed, but I told him I was just fine. I also asked him to get his copy of the ticket for me. He looked at me quizzically and handed it to me. At which point I ripped that bitch up into tiny, tiny, little shreds and thanked him for helping me. We also swore a blood oath never to speak of it again.
Until now, apparently. Now I have to excuse myself and research what the hell a blood oath is and how deep in shit I now am. You'll pardon me...
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Let's talk about timeliness
Let's see how quick you are on the uptake. The following detail came out on 4/10/09:
"Info exchange re: HMA (hispanic male adult) early 20's seen in the parking lot yesterday morning at about 1030 hrs...had a large knife stabbing a tree in the parking lot, while staring at the PR...subject associated with a tan vehicle."
Immediate observations? If you said, "Ummm...how's about that it occurred yesterday?" You are indeed correct. I also would have accepted "Info exchange? Some guy stares menacingly at you while stabbing a fucking tree and you just want to ask some questions about it?"
Listen, folks. I get the inherent disconcerting nature of having a stranger go all ninja on Arbor Day's child while intently gawking at you. Really, I do; however, wouldn't you be a tad more inclined to, oh I don't know, call the Po-Po when it actually happened? Guess what. 24 hours later there are two things we can do to contact this cat: 1) Jack 2) Shit.
If you, my gentle readers, ever find yourself in a similar predicament. Cast your mind back to your perusal of this post and think to yourself, "I bet MC will think I am a gigantic, moronic douche if I call about this tomorrow." You'll thank yourself...and so will I.
"Info exchange re: HMA (hispanic male adult) early 20's seen in the parking lot yesterday morning at about 1030 hrs...had a large knife stabbing a tree in the parking lot, while staring at the PR...subject associated with a tan vehicle."
Immediate observations? If you said, "Ummm...how's about that it occurred yesterday?" You are indeed correct. I also would have accepted "Info exchange? Some guy stares menacingly at you while stabbing a fucking tree and you just want to ask some questions about it?"
Listen, folks. I get the inherent disconcerting nature of having a stranger go all ninja on Arbor Day's child while intently gawking at you. Really, I do; however, wouldn't you be a tad more inclined to, oh I don't know, call the Po-Po when it actually happened? Guess what. 24 hours later there are two things we can do to contact this cat: 1) Jack 2) Shit.
If you, my gentle readers, ever find yourself in a similar predicament. Cast your mind back to your perusal of this post and think to yourself, "I bet MC will think I am a gigantic, moronic douche if I call about this tomorrow." You'll thank yourself...and so will I.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
You are cordially invited
It occurred to me recently that I've gotten a few Law Enforcement related questions in the comments section. I've tried to answer them as best as I could, but how many of you read the comments? Who knows.
So, I've decided to institute a new feature here at "If you got stopped...". I invite you to email questions, traffic related or more general Law Enforcement, to me at motorcop1@gmail.com. As it stands now, I don't think I'll set any kind of limitations on the questions, except for the aforementioned topics. That is to say, feel free to ask specific CVC related questions (e.g. is there a law against driving with no shoes on? I'll save you the time....no.) or more vague procedural questions (e.g. why do some cops approach a car on the left vs. the right side).
Your only limitation is your imagination. Although I shudder to think what the fuck North State DA will come up with. Let me go ahead and preempt you, DA....YOU'RE A FUCKING LAWYER...FIGURE IT OUT!! Who else feels better?
I'll start out with a weekly post, let's say on Saturdays. I'll post the question and give the best answer I can based on my training and experience and, I suppose, the law (whatever).
It's now on you to make it happen, people! Mobilize! Oh, and did I mention the fantastic weekly prize for the lucky selection? I didn't?! That's cause I'm on a budget! Geez, I give and I give....
So, I've decided to institute a new feature here at "If you got stopped...". I invite you to email questions, traffic related or more general Law Enforcement, to me at motorcop1@gmail.com. As it stands now, I don't think I'll set any kind of limitations on the questions, except for the aforementioned topics. That is to say, feel free to ask specific CVC related questions (e.g. is there a law against driving with no shoes on? I'll save you the time....no.) or more vague procedural questions (e.g. why do some cops approach a car on the left vs. the right side).
Your only limitation is your imagination. Although I shudder to think what the fuck North State DA will come up with. Let me go ahead and preempt you, DA....YOU'RE A FUCKING LAWYER...FIGURE IT OUT!! Who else feels better?
I'll start out with a weekly post, let's say on Saturdays. I'll post the question and give the best answer I can based on my training and experience and, I suppose, the law (whatever).
It's now on you to make it happen, people! Mobilize! Oh, and did I mention the fantastic weekly prize for the lucky selection? I didn't?! That's cause I'm on a budget! Geez, I give and I give....
Friday, April 10, 2009
Be in the world, not of the world.
My life seems surrounded by tragedy these past few weeks. Not personal tragedy, thankfully, but just a nearly overwhelming sense of doom. From the OPD tragedy to Pittsburgh, PA's loss. I've had a number of friends and co-workers lose loved ones. Some expected, some not. Every parent's nightmare came to life in Tracy, CA, when the body of a missing eight year old was found in a suitcase. I have not been feeling overly hopeful of late with the overall status of Society.A couple weeks ago, I posted a short note to my kids. You can see it here. After reading the post, my Mom sent me an email. I shan't copy and paste the entire email as parts of it are just between us; however, I was reminded of an important point. But first, a quick semi-personal aside.
I have tried to fashion this blog into a cathartic release for me that is solely based on my work experiences. I deviate every so often, but, hey, it's my blog, right? At any rate, I have mostly kept my political and religious views out of here, because those views can be met as divisive or confrontational...which is funny, since I work in one of the most confrontational careers going. I want you, the reader, to see things from a perspective you may not necessarily be familiar with, specifically, a cop's.
Having said that, however, I must admit to a fair amount of shame for not expressing my personal belief in God prior to all the ridiculous catastrophes of late. I don't intend to brow beat any of you with my particular view of religion and God, don't fret. I will say, though, that I have a strong background in Christianity and have all the faith in the world in God, my personal struggles with organized religion and/or Church notwithstanding. This is not the forum to argue the divinity of these really shitty events or my use of the word shitty in the same paragraph with God, but, rather, to my Mom's rather salient point.
And here it is...in her own words...
We live in an evil world - yes. We are taught to live in this world but not to be “of” it. WE are the light. WE are the ones who are charged with helping those who live in that evil. You deal with it every day. Do you not recognize that when you come across a “problem” citizen that YOU are the light they need? You don’t have to preach to them. You don’t have to lecture them. You are responsible only to do what you do – and then pray for them (privately in your car or back at your bike)…every time. The more pissed off you are with a situation – the more prayer you should put into it. Have you considered that your mood is an invitation from God? He opens that door and it’s your choice to walk through it.
You are not the source of your children’s security. You are the source of their teaching. No parent wants their child to ever be touched by cruelty, bigotry, injustice or just plain meanness. The sad truth is that there is no way to avoid it. Don’t you think I feel your pain with what you deal with every day? I’m your mom – I want everyone to love you like I do.
Don’t you believe that I feel your fear in hoping that you CAN protect your children and knowing deep down you cannot? I would not be able to function if I didn’t truly believe that Christ is with you every day in every situation. I pray incessantly for you, your safety and your impact on others – and for your family leadership. It’s a huge burden to carry without Christ.
Your influence, true influence, on your children is fleeting. You want to help them understand not just what the world is filled with – but how to deal with it … how to “be in the world not of the world”. There is a plan for everyone – absolutely everyone…including everyone involved in the death of those officers.
Again, Christ is faithful. He taught me that life really is a journey. My “job” was to put you on the best path being as prepared as I could possibly make you – and then let you go. At this point in your parenting you cannot possibly know how totally impossible that is…but it must happen.
The same is true of the officers, their family and co-workers. No one can truly explain God’s plan. We can only do our absolute best to play the cards we are dealt. You learned this, - now is the time to remember it. Christ is the One and Only answer. You can be as private about it as you like but without your faith you have nothing to fall back on. That’s what causes confusion in your heart. That’s what makes you feel ill-equipped to explain to your children. Bad things happen to very – very good people. We are not privileged to know the details of God’s plan for each of us. We are, however, privileged to follow the One who can give us the peace that nothing and no one else can.
I love you more than you can possibly comprehend. Find your peace so you can share it with your family – that is YOUR job.
xoxo … your mom
I know she'll probably be embarrassed at being included, but, tough. ;-) I can hear her now, "You didn't have to do that. That was just for you." Well, here's a response...maybe YOU were the light others needed and I'm just the vehicle to pass it along? Ooooo...deal with that! It was a point that needed to be made and I'm proud (and quite the Momma's boy, by the by) that she loves me enough to say these things to me. It seems very fitting to me that this is my 100th post.
I will close with the Officer's prayer and the knowledge that there is a plan and I'm a part of it. I will try and keep that in mind when I hear the giant sucking sound of Society going down the tubes.
The same is true of the officers, their family and co-workers. No one can truly explain God’s plan. We can only do our absolute best to play the cards we are dealt. You learned this, - now is the time to remember it. Christ is the One and Only answer. You can be as private about it as you like but without your faith you have nothing to fall back on. That’s what causes confusion in your heart. That’s what makes you feel ill-equipped to explain to your children. Bad things happen to very – very good people. We are not privileged to know the details of God’s plan for each of us. We are, however, privileged to follow the One who can give us the peace that nothing and no one else can.
I love you more than you can possibly comprehend. Find your peace so you can share it with your family – that is YOUR job.
xoxo … your mom
I know she'll probably be embarrassed at being included, but, tough. ;-) I can hear her now, "You didn't have to do that. That was just for you." Well, here's a response...maybe YOU were the light others needed and I'm just the vehicle to pass it along? Ooooo...deal with that! It was a point that needed to be made and I'm proud (and quite the Momma's boy, by the by) that she loves me enough to say these things to me. It seems very fitting to me that this is my 100th post.
I will close with the Officer's prayer and the knowledge that there is a plan and I'm a part of it. I will try and keep that in mind when I hear the giant sucking sound of Society going down the tubes.
A POLICE OFFICER'S PRAYER
Lord I ask for courage
Courage to face and
Conquer my own fears...
Courage to take me
Where others will not go...
I ask for strength
Strength of body to protect others
And strength of spirit to lead others...
I ask for dedication
Dedication to my job, to do it well
Dedication to my community
To keep it safe...
Give me Lord, concern
For others who trust me
And compassion for those who need me...
And please Lord
Through it all
Be at my side...
--Author Unknown
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Do you dislike your wildly overpriced Mercedes that much?
This is directed at you. Yeah, you, you old bitty. The next time you leave your late model Mercedes out in front of your nail and/or hair salon unlocked, with the keys in it, running...well, I'm just going to steal your fucking car. Just to teach you a lesson. I won't drive it far and I want permanently deprive you of it, but holy shit, lady. Are you out of your mind?And yet folks here in Town wonder why property crime is so blessed prevalent.
**Author's note: My partner actually took this detail a couple weeks ago, but I'm fairly certain the vehicle in question was not the '09 McLaren (MSRP $495,000) pictured here. But the point remains.
I also realize this particular post reads similar to the author of fupenguin...I just couldn't resist. I find it ridiculously funny. I realize some of you disagree; however, it should give you a peek into my psyche. Sobering, yes?**
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Fun Police
MC: Do you know why I stopped you?
Driver: Cuz you're the fun police.
Really? That's your chosen response? Wow. Enjoy your $400 (or thereabouts) ticket.
The above is the Reader's Digest version of my one and only stop on my 12 hr OT shift. I work a lot of OT, so I tend to not be as proactive as I am during the week because, quite frankly, I'm fucking tired. Just being honest...
At any rate, I was on my way to cover my beat partner when I see a Dodge pickup cruise by me. It's an extended cab. It's green. And it apparently comes standard with two kids hanging out the front and rear passenger window. Wait...that's not right. On go the pretty lites and over pulls the truck...all the while kids are scrambling to readjust/reattach their belts. I walked up to the driver's side window...and...
MC: Do you know why I stopped you?
Driver: Cuz you're the fun police.
MC: Nope. I'm the one trying to prevent the death of your children. License and registration, please.
Of course, she forgot her license at home, but (indicating the children in the car) "they can vouch for me." Vouch for you? What, are they staking you in a high stakes poker game, there, Annie Duke? Whatever.
I warned her for the additional violations (no CDL in possession and the second future Nobel Laureate winner not wearing the seatbelt). She asked me what the ticket was for. I explained it to her and she actually had the audacity to glare at the kids. Oh, hell no...
MC: You're the driver of this vehicle and as such, it is your responsibility to ensure all passengers are properly secured...particularly when they are children.
I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself, folks, but not only is wearing your seatbelt the law, you've got to be a complete moron not to wear it. Those of you who only occasionally wear it or straight refuse have never seen someone thrown through a windshield or seen a 17 yr old girl's degloved calf...google that one, why don't you? Not you, Mom, you will not dig it. Not even a little.
Driver: Cuz you're the fun police.
Really? That's your chosen response? Wow. Enjoy your $400 (or thereabouts) ticket.
The above is the Reader's Digest version of my one and only stop on my 12 hr OT shift. I work a lot of OT, so I tend to not be as proactive as I am during the week because, quite frankly, I'm fucking tired. Just being honest...
At any rate, I was on my way to cover my beat partner when I see a Dodge pickup cruise by me. It's an extended cab. It's green. And it apparently comes standard with two kids hanging out the front and rear passenger window. Wait...that's not right. On go the pretty lites and over pulls the truck...all the while kids are scrambling to readjust/reattach their belts. I walked up to the driver's side window...and...
MC: Do you know why I stopped you?
Driver: Cuz you're the fun police.
MC: Nope. I'm the one trying to prevent the death of your children. License and registration, please.
Of course, she forgot her license at home, but (indicating the children in the car) "they can vouch for me." Vouch for you? What, are they staking you in a high stakes poker game, there, Annie Duke? Whatever.
I warned her for the additional violations (no CDL in possession and the second future Nobel Laureate winner not wearing the seatbelt). She asked me what the ticket was for. I explained it to her and she actually had the audacity to glare at the kids. Oh, hell no...
MC: You're the driver of this vehicle and as such, it is your responsibility to ensure all passengers are properly secured...particularly when they are children.
I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself, folks, but not only is wearing your seatbelt the law, you've got to be a complete moron not to wear it. Those of you who only occasionally wear it or straight refuse have never seen someone thrown through a windshield or seen a 17 yr old girl's degloved calf...google that one, why don't you? Not you, Mom, you will not dig it. Not even a little.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Times, they are a-changin
The economy sucks. I hope you were sitting down. It's bad enough that times are tough for most of us. Things are bad with businesses, both public and private. Police/Fire/EMS...all of our budgets are getting slashed. But, here's something you may not be aware of...the District Attorney's Office is also suffering.
We had occasion today to have a meeting with the filing DA for vehicular-related deaths. It was informative and will help us investigate fatal collisions while keeping what the DA is looking for in mind. There was a sidebar regarding their staffing levels, though. We've been hearing some rumours of late about what their office will be going through this year.
Our county will be reducing their staff of 99 to about 73 by year's end. They will file only 'core' misdemeanors. Those include DUIs and domestic violence cases. PC 148 (misdemeanor resisting) and PC 69 (obstructing/resisting executive officer) will be taken on a case-by-case basis. Almost every other misdemeanor will not be prosecuted. This includes your simple assaults (bar fights, etc), fraud cases, vandalism, petty thefts (shoplifting, etc.), and a host of others.
And you thought the crime rate was climbing now....
If I didn't have this stupid moral compass, I'd be a hell of lot richer in the coming months.
We had occasion today to have a meeting with the filing DA for vehicular-related deaths. It was informative and will help us investigate fatal collisions while keeping what the DA is looking for in mind. There was a sidebar regarding their staffing levels, though. We've been hearing some rumours of late about what their office will be going through this year.
Our county will be reducing their staff of 99 to about 73 by year's end. They will file only 'core' misdemeanors. Those include DUIs and domestic violence cases. PC 148 (misdemeanor resisting) and PC 69 (obstructing/resisting executive officer) will be taken on a case-by-case basis. Almost every other misdemeanor will not be prosecuted. This includes your simple assaults (bar fights, etc), fraud cases, vandalism, petty thefts (shoplifting, etc.), and a host of others.
And you thought the crime rate was climbing now....
If I didn't have this stupid moral compass, I'd be a hell of lot richer in the coming months.
Complete departure
Dude. Seriously. Check this out.
Thanks to a new follower, TheBronze, I have found my new favorite site.
Thanks to a new follower, TheBronze, I have found my new favorite site.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Ain't nothin' "Routine" about it.
We all have those things. Things that just rub you the wrong way. One of my things is when the media uses the term "Routine Traffic Stop".
I could go off on a long-winded diatribe about the 'whys' and 'wherefores', but the bottom line is there is nothing routine about a traffic stop until the subject and/or I drive away with nothing more than a citation exchanged between us. Two of the most dangerous and unpredictable calls officers respond to are domestic violence detail and traffic stops. Neither of them are routine.
So...media folks...do me and the rest of us a favor. Stop using the goddamn term, will you?
I could go off on a long-winded diatribe about the 'whys' and 'wherefores', but the bottom line is there is nothing routine about a traffic stop until the subject and/or I drive away with nothing more than a citation exchanged between us. Two of the most dangerous and unpredictable calls officers respond to are domestic violence detail and traffic stops. Neither of them are routine.
So...media folks...do me and the rest of us a favor. Stop using the goddamn term, will you?
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Please. Do what you're told.
A few weeks ago, I was dispatched to an alarm at a residence. Totally common and 99% of the time not a legit alarm. I happened to pull up to the residence right behind the homeowner. It appeared her husband had left the side door to the garage unlocked and the wind blew it open and activated the alarm. No biggie. The door from the garage to the house is also unlocked, but closed.
I'm already there and we're big on public relations, so I decided to check the interior just to make sure everything was kosher. I told the homeowner, "I'm gonna check the inside. Just wait here and I'll be right back." I drew my gun, announced my presence and entered the house. Everything was as it should be. That is to say, nothing appeared ransacked or out of order. This house, much like your house, I assume, was not a long hallway with one door at the end. Rather, it had a few twists and turns and multiple rooms.
I say this because once I left the garage, I no longer have a visual on the homeowner. As I get to the last bedroom, I see nothing unusual, so I holster my gun and start to return to the garage. Now I hear movement immediately around the corner and a voice talking. It's the homeowner. You know, the one I told to stay in the garage. So I don't shoot her. *Sigh*
I didn't point my gun at her or anything, but I did deliver a bit of a lecture about doing what the guy with the gun and badge tells you to do. You might not understand the reasoning behind it. That's okay. You don't need to. All you need to do is what the guy with the gun and the badge tells you to do. Pretty fucking simple, you ask me.
See, this avoids me (or more likely a more jumpy/less experienced officer) mistaking you for an intruder and putting a nice .40-size hole in your chest. Now, I know this may seem a tad reactionary. I understand. My point here is to educate. Whenever the guy with the gun and badge tells you to do something, just assume it's either for your safety, his/her safety, or a combination thereof, 'mkay? Excellent.
Class dismissed.
I'm already there and we're big on public relations, so I decided to check the interior just to make sure everything was kosher. I told the homeowner, "I'm gonna check the inside. Just wait here and I'll be right back." I drew my gun, announced my presence and entered the house. Everything was as it should be. That is to say, nothing appeared ransacked or out of order. This house, much like your house, I assume, was not a long hallway with one door at the end. Rather, it had a few twists and turns and multiple rooms.
I say this because once I left the garage, I no longer have a visual on the homeowner. As I get to the last bedroom, I see nothing unusual, so I holster my gun and start to return to the garage. Now I hear movement immediately around the corner and a voice talking. It's the homeowner. You know, the one I told to stay in the garage. So I don't shoot her. *Sigh*
I didn't point my gun at her or anything, but I did deliver a bit of a lecture about doing what the guy with the gun and badge tells you to do. You might not understand the reasoning behind it. That's okay. You don't need to. All you need to do is what the guy with the gun and the badge tells you to do. Pretty fucking simple, you ask me.
See, this avoids me (or more likely a more jumpy/less experienced officer) mistaking you for an intruder and putting a nice .40-size hole in your chest. Now, I know this may seem a tad reactionary. I understand. My point here is to educate. Whenever the guy with the gun and badge tells you to do something, just assume it's either for your safety, his/her safety, or a combination thereof, 'mkay? Excellent.
Class dismissed.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Loss for words
I haven't fully reviewed the article yet, but I wanted this out there ASAP to start the prayers for these officers and their families.
Be safe. Watch your ass. If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times...traffic stops and domestics. They're the most unpredictable and dangerous details we go to.
This tragedy was brought to my attention by another Officer. Thank you for taking the time to hit me up. Stay safe, brother...or sister.
I just don't know what else to say at the moment.
Be safe. Watch your ass. If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times...traffic stops and domestics. They're the most unpredictable and dangerous details we go to.
This tragedy was brought to my attention by another Officer. Thank you for taking the time to hit me up. Stay safe, brother...or sister.
I just don't know what else to say at the moment.
Happy Anniversary
One year ago, I started this little project 'o mine. Over that past year, I've had some great details, close calls, and sad times. All those things add up to a memorable year.
I had no idea how popular this blog (still a stupid term) would grow to be. I started it mostly for myself and my family, but apparently, you lot are just as twisted and in need of a chuckle as well.
I think I've gotten a little better with the updates...Last year I had a total of 38 posts. This year alone I'm up to 50. Bit of an improvement, but I still stand by the "I'll update it when I update it" rule.
At any rate, thanks for reading and making me feel like I can string a couple of words together and make some sense!
Cheers!
MC
I had no idea how popular this blog (still a stupid term) would grow to be. I started it mostly for myself and my family, but apparently, you lot are just as twisted and in need of a chuckle as well.
I think I've gotten a little better with the updates...Last year I had a total of 38 posts. This year alone I'm up to 50. Bit of an improvement, but I still stand by the "I'll update it when I update it" rule.
At any rate, thanks for reading and making me feel like I can string a couple of words together and make some sense!
Cheers!
MC
Friday, April 3, 2009
Motor Training
Yup, that's my bike. Yup, that's the Golden Gate Bridge.
The Town hosted some quarterly Motor training today. There are a total of five agencies and twenty Motors involved. We all take turns hosting some training. It gives us a chance to sharpen our riding skills, keep in touch with one another, and have some well earned fun. I wish I could use his name to properly give credit where credit is due, but my partner, B, was responsible for the entire day. The day's events were his brain child and he should be proud.
He came up with the course curriculum a few months ago. Turns out, it couldn't have been more timely. Usually, we will do some cone patterns, have lunch, and go on a ride. It's important and effective, but we've all done cone patterns hundreds of times.
My partner wanted to do something different. His idea? Let's hit the range and have a course of fire while we're on the bikes. Many of us haven't done that since Motor school (varying between 2 and 9 years ago) and some of us have never done it. Two weeks ago, two Oakland motors were shot and killed during a traffic stop. This post isn't about their tactics or Monday morning quarterbacking. The fact of the matter is we never train what to do in their shoes. Can you fucking believe that? Talk about ridiculous.
I thought my partner's idea was a stroke of brilliance. This morning, we went to a local PD's range and practiced firing (with live ammo) from the bike, from cover behind the bike, while in the middle of writing a cite, and mid-dismount. I have to believe today's training was the start of something that may very well save one of our lives down the road.
Of course, we are Motors and we love to have our fun. We had a nice catered lunch back in the Town and then headed to the City for some prime PTO (Photo Taking Opportunities). We stopped at Treasure Island and then hit the Golden Gate, Fort Mason, the Presidio, Lombard St., and Coit Tower. I am not even remotely kidding when I say there had to have been thousands of photos taken of us at those places and on our rides in between. It was a gorgeous day in the City and the tourists were out in droves. It's not often you see 20 Motors riding in formation, looking bitching, and sounding bad ass.
To conclude this post, I'd like to say thanks to my partner, B, and dedicate this post to him.
B, you made me a little bit safer today and gave me that much of a better shot of getting home to hug the Wife and Kid. Thanks, bro.
"Do you think its worth complaining?"
This is the question posed to me while I politely minded my own business waiting for my healthy Mexican Pizza from the Border. A stereotypical Town citizen asked me the question above. I say "stereotypical" because the aura of self-entitlement surrounding her was stifling.
She briefly explained to me that an officer (I didn't ask where or which cop) was very rude to her on a traffic stop. She said he yelled at her.
MC: Did you get out of the car?
Lady: Yes.
MC: Did he yell to you to get back in the car?
Lady: Yes.
MC: Did you comply?
Lady: Yes.
MC: I'd have told you to do the exact same thing.
I went on to explain to her the frame of mind of a police officer on a traffic stop. Allow me to educate the rest of you...
Let's say I'm pulling you over. I don't know you. I most likely can't see into your car. It doesn't matter if you're driving a '09 Mercedes or an '89 minivan. Cops can't afford to make snap judgements of drivers based on their ride. If the driver's door opens and you get out, I will tell you politely (but with command) to sit down. If you don't, I will yell at you to sit down.
Make no mistake, friends. During a traffic stop, you are being detained. It could not matter less to me if you think it is justified or not. I am not interested in your opinion of either my tactics or my reasoning for stopping you (refer to blog title...you deserved it). During a detention, you are more or less bound by law (within legal reason) to do what you're told. Most adults don't take kindly to that. I understand that. I don't care. My tactics, whatever they may be, get me home to the Wife and Kid.
Now, I didn't say all of that to the lady at Taco Bell because, let's be honest, I just wanted my damn mexican pizza. I gave her the reader's digest version of "It's for our safety and yours". She rolled her eyes. I am not kidding. I pointed at her face and said, "If I can be perfectly honest with you, that is more than likely why you got yelled at. Your attitude and demeanor." I actually said it very politely and I think she may have actually listened to me.
I know a lot of you that read this are either cops, dispatchers, or married to them, but I know there are some that have no idea about our world. By in large, cops aren't "out to get" you. When our paths do cross, however, just be polite. Take responsiblity. And, without sounding cliche, do what we tell you. It truly is for your safety and ours. I get that most of us don't like to be told what to do. I get it. I guarantee, however, that if you give up a little control and go with the program, whatever the issue is, it will go much more smoothly than if you decide to exert your own wants/desires.
Until a scene is rendered secure, regardless of the detail, your wants/desires rank right up there with my desire to be in a kayak next to a humpback whale (They scare the shit out of me...they're fucking HUGE!)
So, to answer the original question..."Do you think it is worth complaining?"
Nope. Do what you're told.
She briefly explained to me that an officer (I didn't ask where or which cop) was very rude to her on a traffic stop. She said he yelled at her.
MC: Did you get out of the car?
Lady: Yes.
MC: Did he yell to you to get back in the car?
Lady: Yes.
MC: Did you comply?
Lady: Yes.
MC: I'd have told you to do the exact same thing.
I went on to explain to her the frame of mind of a police officer on a traffic stop. Allow me to educate the rest of you...
Let's say I'm pulling you over. I don't know you. I most likely can't see into your car. It doesn't matter if you're driving a '09 Mercedes or an '89 minivan. Cops can't afford to make snap judgements of drivers based on their ride. If the driver's door opens and you get out, I will tell you politely (but with command) to sit down. If you don't, I will yell at you to sit down.
Make no mistake, friends. During a traffic stop, you are being detained. It could not matter less to me if you think it is justified or not. I am not interested in your opinion of either my tactics or my reasoning for stopping you (refer to blog title...you deserved it). During a detention, you are more or less bound by law (within legal reason) to do what you're told. Most adults don't take kindly to that. I understand that. I don't care. My tactics, whatever they may be, get me home to the Wife and Kid.
Now, I didn't say all of that to the lady at Taco Bell because, let's be honest, I just wanted my damn mexican pizza. I gave her the reader's digest version of "It's for our safety and yours". She rolled her eyes. I am not kidding. I pointed at her face and said, "If I can be perfectly honest with you, that is more than likely why you got yelled at. Your attitude and demeanor." I actually said it very politely and I think she may have actually listened to me.
I know a lot of you that read this are either cops, dispatchers, or married to them, but I know there are some that have no idea about our world. By in large, cops aren't "out to get" you. When our paths do cross, however, just be polite. Take responsiblity. And, without sounding cliche, do what we tell you. It truly is for your safety and ours. I get that most of us don't like to be told what to do. I get it. I guarantee, however, that if you give up a little control and go with the program, whatever the issue is, it will go much more smoothly than if you decide to exert your own wants/desires.
Until a scene is rendered secure, regardless of the detail, your wants/desires rank right up there with my desire to be in a kayak next to a humpback whale (They scare the shit out of me...they're fucking HUGE!)
So, to answer the original question..."Do you think it is worth complaining?"
Nope. Do what you're told.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Harbingers Of Doom
Truly, I can't make stuff like the following up...
A beat car got dispatched to a suspicious circumstance the other day. What was suspicious you ask? Birds.
Text of call: PR says there are 2 vultures on top of the vacant house to the left of the PR's home. The house has been vacant for 3 months and states that this is not common practice for this species. PR says they can smell death for miles. PR just noticed them today.
So now we have an obvious ornithologist amongst us who is intimately familiar with the habits of carrion fowl. Great.
As if that weren't amusing enough...I was sitting on the side of the road running a little Radar when a citizen stopped and told me he had seen a horse lying down on the hillside. The citizen added there were four or five other horses surrounding the downed filly and he was concerned it was dead.
Curiouser and curiouser. Perhaps the original PR wasn't a complete moron. I drove over to check it out (mostly because I was curious, this not being anything close to police related and all). Sure as shit, I see a horse on its side, legs straight out. Looks dead to me. I figure I've solved the vulture mystery. I tracked down the now panicked horse wrangler. We went back to the hillside to see Mr. (d)Ed (clever, I know). Holy shit! It's a bloody miracle. The horse is nowhere to be seen. Just a nice morning for a snooze in the warm sun. Turns out the original PR was indeed a moron.
A beat car got dispatched to a suspicious circumstance the other day. What was suspicious you ask? Birds.
Text of call: PR says there are 2 vultures on top of the vacant house to the left of the PR's home. The house has been vacant for 3 months and states that this is not common practice for this species. PR says they can smell death for miles. PR just noticed them today.
So now we have an obvious ornithologist amongst us who is intimately familiar with the habits of carrion fowl. Great.
As if that weren't amusing enough...I was sitting on the side of the road running a little Radar when a citizen stopped and told me he had seen a horse lying down on the hillside. The citizen added there were four or five other horses surrounding the downed filly and he was concerned it was dead.
Curiouser and curiouser. Perhaps the original PR wasn't a complete moron. I drove over to check it out (mostly because I was curious, this not being anything close to police related and all). Sure as shit, I see a horse on its side, legs straight out. Looks dead to me. I figure I've solved the vulture mystery. I tracked down the now panicked horse wrangler. We went back to the hillside to see Mr. (d)Ed (clever, I know). Holy shit! It's a bloody miracle. The horse is nowhere to be seen. Just a nice morning for a snooze in the warm sun. Turns out the original PR was indeed a moron.
Go ahead and add this to the "Stupid things you shouldn't say to the guy with the gun" list.
Earlier this week, I stopped a driver for a stop sign violation. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. She pitched a bitch about the violation. She said, "I hit my brake."
Let me paint a picture for you all. Actually, let me give you a homework assignment. Drive your car at 40 MPH. Hit your brake. For like a 0.5 secs. Did the car stop on a dime? No? Odd. Well, neither did hers.
I tried to explain to her that simply tapping the brake did not equate to coming to a full and complete stop behind the limit line. Now, I'm not some kind of stop sign nazi. I don't stop the "CA rolls". Some of you know what that is...but I'll wager our definitions differ. I typically don't stop anything less than about 7 MPH. This lady was about 10 MPH.
I walked back up to the car, cite book in hand. She said to me, "I hope nothing bad ever happens to you."
**Let's take a second** There are a number of things you should never say to a cop. I don't give a good goddamn what you meant. Use your head. The above could most definitely be taken as a threat. Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually a fairly level-headed individual. There are certain things, however, that push my buttons. This chick landed right on it.
Did I feel threatened by the older chick? Of course not. That's not the point. The point is there is an extreme and obvious lack of regard for the occupation that is enforcing the law. I've touched on it repeatedly in the past and it's bound to come up in the future (again...one of those buttons). When she said, "I hope nothing bad happens to you", I got bent. Amazingly enough, I kept a civil tongue in my head. That is not to say I let the comment pass, however....
MC: What is wrong with you?
Driver: Huh?
MC: Don't ever say something like that to a police officer! Are you out of your mind?
Driver: I wasn't threatening you.
MC: I don't care what you meant. That's an incredibly stupid thing to say.
Driver: I just want you to have a heart.
MC: If I had one before (note the "if"), that comment just killed it. Good luck to you.
What did I want to say?
MC: What the fuck is wrong with you? How fucking dare you say shit like that to a cop.
Driver: I wasn't threatening you.
MC: I don't care what you meant, you idiot. What are the hell are you thinking? In what part of your brain did you think "Gee, this seems like a good tactic to use...maybe he'll change his mind and give me a warning"? You've got to be kidding me.
Driver: I just want you to have a heart.
MC: Not fucking likely after that comment. Matter of fact, I'm going to write three times as many cites now and I'm going to tell them all its your fault. Then I'm going to give them your address and let them tell you personally what they thought about your little opinion.
It's times like that I wish I had a decayed old sheep's heart in a bottle. I could whip out the bottle and show her my black heart. Then horns would sprout on my head and a demonic voice would thunder from the very core of the Earth saying, "Drive safely, now." Okay...this is pretty much the only time I wish I had an old sheep heart in a bottle. Except for that one time in college. Totally different post, though.
Let me paint a picture for you all. Actually, let me give you a homework assignment. Drive your car at 40 MPH. Hit your brake. For like a 0.5 secs. Did the car stop on a dime? No? Odd. Well, neither did hers.
I tried to explain to her that simply tapping the brake did not equate to coming to a full and complete stop behind the limit line. Now, I'm not some kind of stop sign nazi. I don't stop the "CA rolls". Some of you know what that is...but I'll wager our definitions differ. I typically don't stop anything less than about 7 MPH. This lady was about 10 MPH.
I walked back up to the car, cite book in hand. She said to me, "I hope nothing bad ever happens to you."
**Let's take a second** There are a number of things you should never say to a cop. I don't give a good goddamn what you meant. Use your head. The above could most definitely be taken as a threat. Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually a fairly level-headed individual. There are certain things, however, that push my buttons. This chick landed right on it.
Did I feel threatened by the older chick? Of course not. That's not the point. The point is there is an extreme and obvious lack of regard for the occupation that is enforcing the law. I've touched on it repeatedly in the past and it's bound to come up in the future (again...one of those buttons). When she said, "I hope nothing bad happens to you", I got bent. Amazingly enough, I kept a civil tongue in my head. That is not to say I let the comment pass, however....
MC: What is wrong with you?
Driver: Huh?
MC: Don't ever say something like that to a police officer! Are you out of your mind?
Driver: I wasn't threatening you.
MC: I don't care what you meant. That's an incredibly stupid thing to say.
Driver: I just want you to have a heart.
MC: If I had one before (note the "if"), that comment just killed it. Good luck to you.
What did I want to say?
MC: What the fuck is wrong with you? How fucking dare you say shit like that to a cop.
Driver: I wasn't threatening you.
MC: I don't care what you meant, you idiot. What are the hell are you thinking? In what part of your brain did you think "Gee, this seems like a good tactic to use...maybe he'll change his mind and give me a warning"? You've got to be kidding me.
Driver: I just want you to have a heart.
MC: Not fucking likely after that comment. Matter of fact, I'm going to write three times as many cites now and I'm going to tell them all its your fault. Then I'm going to give them your address and let them tell you personally what they thought about your little opinion.
It's times like that I wish I had a decayed old sheep's heart in a bottle. I could whip out the bottle and show her my black heart. Then horns would sprout on my head and a demonic voice would thunder from the very core of the Earth saying, "Drive safely, now." Okay...this is pretty much the only time I wish I had an old sheep heart in a bottle. Except for that one time in college. Totally different post, though.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
One last Thank You from MC
To all of you who have posted comments to me and those of my ilk in the past week and a half, be it here or on FB (for those of you truly in the know...not you, blogstalker(s)), I really want to offer my sincere thanks.
It's always tough in this job to be reminded of our mortality. We're trained from the first day that cops never quit. We never lose. We will overcome. Any other attitude is met with a much swifter and potentially more violent end. So, when our fellow cops are touched by God and taken from us, it's a reminder to the rest of us that the possibility exists.
Wrestling with those demons can be draining. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not the state of mind necessary to do our job safely. Encouragement from you all has, in no short order, helped me to pick myself up and get back to it.
I know there are a number of you that don't comment. That is just fine. I'll admit I love seeing the notice that there is an unmoderated comment pending. But for those of you either not comfortable with leaving a message or just plain too busy...do me a favor. Next time you see your local incarnation of Enforcer. Just walk over and say, "Thanks." Or, wave. Throw us a smile. You wouldn't believe the positive impact it can have.
Again, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to not only read this silliness, but for letting me know you're out there, you're supportive, and you appreciate our work.
Enough of this folderol....on with the frivolity.
It's always tough in this job to be reminded of our mortality. We're trained from the first day that cops never quit. We never lose. We will overcome. Any other attitude is met with a much swifter and potentially more violent end. So, when our fellow cops are touched by God and taken from us, it's a reminder to the rest of us that the possibility exists.
Wrestling with those demons can be draining. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not the state of mind necessary to do our job safely. Encouragement from you all has, in no short order, helped me to pick myself up and get back to it.
I know there are a number of you that don't comment. That is just fine. I'll admit I love seeing the notice that there is an unmoderated comment pending. But for those of you either not comfortable with leaving a message or just plain too busy...do me a favor. Next time you see your local incarnation of Enforcer. Just walk over and say, "Thanks." Or, wave. Throw us a smile. You wouldn't believe the positive impact it can have.
Again, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to not only read this silliness, but for letting me know you're out there, you're supportive, and you appreciate our work.
Enough of this folderol....on with the frivolity.
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