Collision or Accident?

Earlier this week in Novato, CA, a 9 year old girl was killed and her Dad is in critical condition (after having his leg amputated). The cause? A drunk motorcyclist named Edward Schaefer hit them while they were crossing the street in a crosswalk. Apparently, another vehicle had appropriately stopped to yield to the child and her Dad in the crosswalk. Schaefer did not. Media outlets have reported (and who knows how accurate it is) than Schaefer pulled around the stopped vehicle and then hit the child and her Dad.

Why am I bringing this up? Probably not for the reason you'd suspect. Yes, I think Schaefer is a piece of shit and I'd want his head on a platter if it was my family. However, my point in shining a light on this is the media's use of the phrase "DUI accident".

Here are the definitions of both collision and accident from dictionary.com:

col⋅li⋅sion[kuh-lizh-uhn]
–noun
1. the act of colliding; a coming violently into contact; crash: the collision of two airplanes.

ac⋅ci⋅dent [ak-si-duhnt]
–noun
1. an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss; casualty; mishap: automobile accidents.

Here's my issue. The use of the word 'accident' is inappropriate based on Schaefer's being under the influence. When you've made the decision to drive while intoxicated, there is nothing unintentional about the happening. Undesirable? Check. Unfortunate? Damn straight. Unintentional? Hell no.

The other problem with the use of the word 'accident' is the use the defense can make of it during a trial, be it civil or criminal. If you can convince one nimrod on a jury the incident was indeed an accident, the odds of the responsible party being found culpable are severely diminished. More so in a criminal trial, of course, since you need a unanimous decision. If you get a defense attorney with half a brain (insert your own lawyer joke here), it wouldn't be too difficult to make the leap to "Hey, we've all made mistakes. It was just an accident. He didn't do it purposefully. He had no intention of hurting anyone."

I feel confident saying everyone knows how dangerous drinking and driving is. If you're bright enough (and it doesn't take much) to drive a car, you're bright enough to figure out the possible consequences. It'd be like getting cancer after having smoked for 50 years and claiming you didn't know smoking could harm you. You know, you just accidentally got fucking cancer. Come on...you expect me to buy that?

Of course the media is not responsible for the defense of Schaefer. And, allegedly, they are unbiased (sssuuuurrrreeee, they are...wink, wink). I get that they don't know the ins and outs of the criminal justice system, but some things just bug me and this is one of them. Using 'accident' puts you in a certain frame of mind that, more often than not, isn't the accurate one.

'Collision' or even 'crash' is much more appropriate and accurate. You can't deny a collision happened...and with tragic results. To even entertain the idea that the incident was an accident is offensive to the memory of the little girl and her now one-legged Daddy who will never get to hold her again.

Saturday's Question

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce an ingenious friend I have come to affectionately refer to as BlogStalker (not his real name, but he requested I christen him with one). I consulted the Board and discovered no conflicts. The matter was moved upon and passed by majority. **None of that will make sense but to about a small group of folks, by the way, so don't feel totally lost.**

At any rate, his question:

Ok, I have to play along. This one has bugged me for a long time.

Who has the right-of-way when there are no left turn arrows and the light is green, The vehicle making a left or the vehicle making a right from the opposite direction turning into the same lane?? Hope this makes sense...BlogStalker.

Well spoken, if not drawn, my friend. I took it upon myself to include a small diagram to assist with the visual because, quite frankly, yours was shit. :) I think this is what BlogStalker is referring to...



I apologize for the lousy picture. Blogger wouldn't allow me to upload a .pdf file or directly from my drawing program. If you click on the picture, it should make it bigger so it's easier to read.

The blue car is attempting a left turn. The red car is attempting a right turn. Both vehicles want to enter the same lane. Who has the right-of-way? First, it isn't often that both vehicles enter the intersection simultaneously. Typically, one or the other will be there first and a seamless turn by both can be achieved. However, for the sake of argument, let's assume there was a collision and the PCF (Primary Collision Factor) has to be determined and all other CVC sections have been excluded (speed, etc) and I have to determine fault with some regard to a right-of-way violation.

The official answer can be found in CVC 21801. There are two subsections. CVC 21801(a) states in part, "The driver of a vehicle intending to turn to the left upon a highway, or to turn left into public or private property, or an alley, shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles approaching from the opposite direction which are close enough to constitute a hazard at any time during the turning movement, and shall continue to yield the right-of-way to the approaching vehicles until the left turn can be made with reasonable safety."

CVC 21801(b) states in part, "A driver having yielded as prescribed in (a) and having given a signal may turn left, and the drivers of vehicles approaching the intersection from the opposite direction shall yield the right-of-way to the turning vehicle."

Clear enough for you? Me neither. In plain English, it means the blue car (left turn) has to yield to the red car (right turn); however, if the blue car had already yielded and it was reasonably safe to proceed, the red car must yield. This is assuming the red car was much further back. We can't expect the blue car to sit there all damn day, right?

The bottom line in this dilemma (again, assuming a collision occurred) is I'm going to be looking for some unbiased (read independent) witness that can give me a good idea of where each car was prior to the collision.

To more directly answer your question, Stalker, if you get there at the same time and you're making the left, you need to yield to the vehicle making the right turn. Now run off and tell all your friends MC hooked you up with an answer. Oh, and I believe you're buying. It's in the by-laws.

10 Years

I was reminded by a friend and fellow LEO today that we graduated from the Academy ten years ago today.

I'm sure those of you with as many, more, or just a bit less know, it flies by. To those of you considering a LE career or those of you in the infancy of same, do yourselves a favor. Take a deep breath, slow down, and enjoy it. Leave the job at the job. And lighten up...this job is fun. Learn to laugh at yourself because I guarantee you others will be laughing at you (and then there are the suspects).

If you haven't decided what kind of cop you're going to be, try hard to be the one that is not defined by what you do. This is a job. A great job, to be sure, but just a job. Be defined by your family, your friends, and the kind of man or woman you are.

In my experience, the cop that is a cop 24/7 is the kind of cop that is going to burn out quick and end up resenting most things. Don't get me wrong, I'm a cop every second, but it's (happy, Linguistics Stud?) what I do, not who I am. If someone needs my help and I'm not "on the job", of course I'm going to help. That's not to say that my life is dominated by my chosen career path, because I assure you it is not.

It's been a great ride thus far and I'm looking forward to tomorrow just as much (more likely more) than I was my first day on. Happy Anniversary, Chachi. Happy Anniversary, Joel (even though you suck and I rock).

10 down, 13 to go...

Your concern is our amusement

Yesterday, the following call was dispatched:

PR says there is a 5 yr old child being driven on a motorcycle by an adult...last seen heading downtown on 123 Ave. The child has a helmet, PR concerned about the child if the adult crashed.

Let's take a minute to digest that one...


How many problems do you see with this detail? I humbly submit my list.

1. PR is anonymous (that is a whole separate post).
2. PR apparently doesn't give a shit about the adult if the adult crashed.
3. PR said nothing about any kind of irresponsible/dangerous riding.
4. There is no CVC regarding age restrictions for m/c passengers.
5. It is a possibility the PR was driving whilst using a cell phone (possibly further putting the child in danger...although this is complete conjecture).
6. This is in no way a police matter. There is no crime. There is no violation. You might as well call in and say you are concerned the sun is shining and further damaging your skin with it's heinous UV rays.

It'd be one thing if the child was precariously holding on or the rider was being unsafe in some matter or the kid wasn't wearing a helmet, but none of those things appear to have occurred. Per the detail, the PR's only concern was potential injury to the child if the adult crashed.

So, please, folks. I'm not trying to dissuade you from calling the police. Just think first.

A picture is worth 1,000 words...

In this case, it is worth far less. I saw this on my way to grab some lunch today. The gaduate (read on before you comment) was from a not inexpensive Bay Area High School. I'm gonna go ahead and guess Mumsy and Dudsy went to the continuation school.



Congats, indeed, Kayleigh.

Hey! Lazy Ass! How's about you look around first?

Here's a suggestion. Before you report your car stolen, why don't you take three extra minutes and maybe stroll around the lot. You could always meander down a side street. How about across the way? Think maybe your car wasn't stolen? In the middle of the fucking day? With like 127 people around?

Seriously, folks. I understand the heart-now-in-throat feeling where you realize your car isn't where you left it. Panic sets in immediately, your blood pressure rises, your faith in humanity plummets. All very normal. Do us all a favor, though. Take a deep breath. Calm down. If your car is truly gone, well, it's the shits, but that's why God created insurance. However, maybe, just maybe, your car isn't actually gone and you are just a forgetful prat of overwhelming proportions.

Oh, and another tip. After you've overreacted and hysterically rang 911 claiming to have been the victim of every crime imaginable, only to subsequently find your car (right where your dumbass left it, by the way), I'd very much appreciate it (and I feel confident speaking for all my brothers/sisters in blue) if you'd ring back to say, oh I don't know, that YOU FOUND YOUR CAR! Know why? 'Cause after you're long gone and I am able to clear whatever other detail I was just on, I'm going to arrive at what you reported as your location....only to find you're not there. Because you drove away in your 'stolen' car. Thanks for letting me know you found it and saving me the trouble. Ass.

Saturday's Question

Today, a special visit from my friend, Happy Medic:

I was wondering if there is an ordinance or law about yielding to emergency vehicles with red light and siren activated. So many folks pull left, stop or begin to weave when I approach them with the lights and sirens on. Am I right in screaming at them that they're disobeying the law?

This will not change whether or not I scream at people, just curious.

HM

HM, what follows is direct from DMV's website:

Emergency Vehicles

You must yield the right of way to any police car, fire engine,ambulance, or other emergency vehicle using a siren and red lights. Drive as close to the right edge of the road as possible and stop until the emergency vehicle(s) has passed. However, never stop in an intersection. If you are in an intersection when you see an emergency vehicle, continue through the intersection and then drive to the right as soon as you can and stop. Emergency vehicles often use the wrong side of the street to continue on their way. They sometimes use a loud speaker to talk to drivers blocking their path.

You must obey any traffic direction, order, or signal by a traffic or police officer or a fire fighter even if it conflicts with existing signs, signals, or laws.

It is against the law to follow within 300 feet of any emergency vehicle which is answering an emergency call.

If you drive for sight-seeing purposes to the scene of a fire, accident, or other disaster you may be arrested. Casual observers interfere with the essential services of police, fire fighter, ambulance crews, or other rescue or emergency personnel.

If you want the CVC section, read on...

Authorized Emergency Vehicles

21806. Upon the immediate approach of an authorized emergency vehicle which is sounding a siren and which has at least one lighted lamp exhibiting red light that is visible, under normal atmospheric conditions, from a distance of 1,000 feet to the front of the vehicle, the surrounding traffic shall, except as otherwise directed by a traffic officer, do the following:

(a) (1) Except as required under paragraph (2), the driver of every other vehicle shall yield the right-of-way and shall immediately drive to the right-hand edge or curb of the highway, clear of any intersection, and thereupon shall stop and remain stopped until the authorized emergency vehicle has passed.

(2) A person driving a vehicle in an exclusive or preferential use lane shall exit that lane immediately upon determining that the exit can be accomplished with reasonable safety.

(b) The operator of every street car shall immediately stop the street car, clear of any intersection, and remain stopped until the authorized emergency vehicle has passed.

(c) All pedestrians upon the highway shall proceed to the nearest curb or place of safety and remain there until the authorized emergency vehicle has passed.

Amended Sec. 68, Ch. 1154, Stats. 1996. Effective September 30, 1996.

Long story short, yell away, my good man. As I'm sure you can attest, there are so many people who either just keep on a-drivin' or stop in the middle of the street or, and I'll never understand this, pull to the left and stop. All the aforementioned fools pay dearly for their mistake...not an inexpensive fine.

And a personal postscript...thanks to Amanda for the reminder. Allergies are kicking my ass today and I've been walking around in a Claritin/Pollen induced haze. Still Saturday, though, so I'm good...

Also, I've got a few weeks of questions ready to roll, but I'm always looking for more. I save them all in my email folder and keep them on file, so feel free to submit them whenever you'd like!

Pet Peeve

This is such a silly little thing and, believe me, I get the most likely reason behind it, but for the love of that is holy, WILL ONE OF YOU MORONS GO?!?!? Allow me to explain...

Ever been to a four way stop? I'll assume you have. Let's review the rule, shall we? If two people get there at the same time, the person on the right has the right-of-way and rotates appropriately. Otherwise, it's first come, first serve.

What's my bitch? When I'm 15' from the limit line and you're already at the limit line, you can go. You don't have to sit and wait for me to approach, stop, look at you, see you look at me, wave me on, me wave you on (since you have the right-of-way anyway), shake your head emphatically, wave me on again, me yell "just fucking go", you to yell "what?", me to pull my gun, you to look shocked, me to shoot all your tires flat, you to be upset, and me to get fired.

Wouldn't it just be simpler if you, having met your obligation to stop, just went on your merry way? I thought so too.

I don't know what it is, but some people seem to have some kind of weird aversion to taking their right-of-way when there's a cop at the same intersection. There have been times when I've literally just sat there until someone, anyone, went. It's trivial, but it bugs the shit out of me.

Driver Safety Tips for the holiday weekend.

I got an email today from a reader, Jennifer, at JA Jones Consulting. She forwarded a press release from Radarsign regarding Driver Safety on Memorial Day weekend. According to the press release, Memorial Day weekend is the third most dangerous holiday for vehicular traffic. I wanted to include the release here with the hopes that we can all take away some positive suggestions for our safety this weekend.

Alpharetta, GA - May 2009 -- Nearly forty million drivers are expected to fill highways and byways this coming holiday weekend according to the U.S. Department of Transportation. Memorial Day weekend is the third most perilous holiday for vehicular traffic. Thanksgiving holds the number one spot, with Independence Day at number two. Labor Day and New Year's Eve round out the top five.

Radarsign, the leading manufacturer and retailer of driver feedback signs, today released TEN TIPS TO ROAD SAFETY as vacationers hit the streets.

1. Don't drive drowsy. According to the National Sleep Foundation's Report on Drowsy Driving, 100,000 reported crashes, 71,000 injuries and 1,550 deaths every year are attributed to drivers falling asleep at the wheel. Add to that heavy holiday traffic and you have a recipe for disaster. If you are feeling drowsy, get off the road.

2. Wear your seat belt. The DOT reports fifty percent of all vehicular deaths could have been prevented with seat belts.

3. Signal your intentions. Every move you make on the road impacts the decisions and actions of others. By signaling your intention to turn or change lanes, you ensure others are alert to your movements.

4. Do not tailgate. Leave a distance equal to one car's length for every ten miles per hour. For example, if you are traveling fifty miles an hour, you should fall back a distance equal to five car lengths from the vehicle in front of you.

5. Move away from tailgaters. Many drivers attempt to "teach" a lesson to tailgaters by tapping their brakes telling the other driver to back off. Tailgaters typically exercise poor judgement and endanger themselves and others - especially when challenged. The best thing to do is move out of the way and let the tailgater safely pass you.

6. Avoid standing water. If you must drive through water, do so slowly and avoid sudden use of your brakes, turning too sharply or excessive acceleration. If you do hydroplane (an instance where the tread cannot channel the rainwater from under your tires), do not hit the brakes. Reduce your speed by taking your foot off the accelerator and turning the wheel in the direction you want to travel.

7. Know pedestrian rights. Always be aware of pedestrians at intersections and remember pedestrians have the right of way.

8. Turn on your headlights when visibility is low. The sobering statistic is that while only 25% of the miles we drive are at night, about 50% of the fatalities occur in the darkness--25,000 people each year.

9. Obey the speed limit. A difference of only five miles an hour can be the difference between life and death.

10. Stay alert! Talking on a cell phone, texting, reading maps - even listening to voice-directed GPS systems - can distract you from the road and lead to accidents.

"Every eighteen seconds a U.S. driver is involved in an auto accident and every 11 minutes someone dies in a car crash." said Charlie Robeson, co-Founder of Radarsign. "Road safety is a serious issue; that's why Radarsigns are affordable enough to be purchased by anyone and flexible enough to be put anywhere speeding is a problem. In the meantime, we hope everyone follows these driver safety tips and has a happy and safe holiday weekend."

The only obvious addendum I would add is the obvious...don't drive drunk. I'd like to think it goes without saying, but unfortunately, it's still a daily occurrence. Let's set a better example!

Thanks, Jennifer, for the reminder! Have a fantastic weekend, everyone, but remember to stay safe. Your families depend on you getting home in one piece.

East Bay Dispatcher

Some of you have noticed that East Bay Dispatcher's blog is no more. All I know is he has chosen to remove it to prevent any potential professional issues. I won't speculate further. It was a good read while it was here and I know I'll miss it. I always love hearing stories from the other side of the radio.

I'm gonna guess he'll relieve his stresses in another fashion. Until then, EBD, fight the good fight. You'll be missed.

TAR II

The above pictures are just two examples of the bevy of brain melting equations those of us in Traffic are expected to know intimately....and I say "intimately" because there's the feeling when you look at them of "I am so fucked". (And I apologize for the blurry photos...best the iPhone can offer).

Although they appear daunting at best when one starts the course, it's actually not as overwhelming once you have all the data in front of you. Once you compile all the information, it's merely a matter of plugging all the numbers in. There's a lot of math involved. There are a lot of steps involved. If you miscalculate early on, all of your results will be skewed. It can be very stressful, but so long as you check and recheck your work (and maybe have a partner do the same), you'll usually end up on the right side of the answer.

So, that's what I'm up to through Friday. This will put me at an even 400 hours of collision-specific training in the last three years. Part of me never wants to have to use any of this stuff because that translates into someone likely dying. These equations and investigations usually only come into play after a fatal collision. Morbidly, though, part of me wants the experience as well.

All this training could translate into a nice post-retirement gig...who knows. I've got a little over a decade to figure it out, right?

Two Wheel Terror

Just a heads up, all...I've gotten a couple comments about 2WT's blog comment issues...I am actually in a Recon class with him this week and I made mention of our inability to leave comments.

He is aware and will rectify the situation when he can. I had the same problem the rest of you had, so I'll bug him again tomorrow. Thanks for the heads up!

National Police Week in DC

This is a video of Philadelphia Highway Patrol's Drill Team. It's a bit long, but it's cool. If you wanna skip to the really crazy part, skip to about 6:00 in. These cats train A LOT!

I found the video on YouTube, but the drill team was also mentioned on NLEOMF (National Law Enforcement Officer's Memorial Fund. It's a very moving blog honoring fallen Officers. If you've the time and inclination, shoot over for a visit.

I took a ride in the Way Back machine

Last night, I worked some OT. Another DUI enforcement night. Nothing exciting to relay in that regard. However....

About 30 minutes before the end of the shift, I was sitting next to a little school playground near a church. I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a couple kids running around the playground. At 0130 in the morning. Time to have a little fun...but first, come with me in the Way Back machine...

Cast your minds back to about 1984. MC was but a young boy out with his friends for some frivolity. We thought it'd be cool to make a midnight run to 7-11. Of course, as we're walking that way, we saw a car headed our way. One of my genius friends said, "Hide! It might be a cop!" So we scattered to hide. I hid in some random front yard beneath a home's window. A few seconds later, someone inside threw something threw the window and began yelling, "I know who you are!"

Consequently, I ran as fast as I ever have away from the house. One friend stuck by me. The other ran home (pussy). Turns out that house had been broken into and they thought I was coming back to finish the job. What are the friggin' odds? Needless to say, it was many moons until the next time I was out past curfew.

With that at the forefront of my mind, I decided to see how much fun being on the flip side would be. My car was running, but all the lights were off. I put the car in gear and crept forward. Until they saw me. They took off running. No more creeping...I came screeching around the corner, slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car after them. I saw a couple of them jump a fence. I ran up to the fence and yelled at them to "Please return to my location, lads", or something along those lines. Then I looked to my right and saw another kid hiding poorly behind a bush. Amateur.

They all came back and hopped back over the fence and followed me to my car. I asked them something to the effect of, "What are you scamps up to this fine Spring morn?" They regaled me with their tale of a sojourn to the local convenience market and that they were just enroute back to their young mate's residence.

I was pulled through space and time and swiftly deposited in the body of my former 13 yr old self. I will never forget that experience in my life. Why should any of these young men be denied the same fond (in hindsight) memory?

I told the boys (who were all 16, with the exception of one 15 yr old) that I was once their age. (And yes, I did the whole "I can't believe I'm about to say this" routine). Their fond memory will include how the cop that caught them both a) scared the shit out of them and then b) bored the shit out of them with a story about the silly shit he did when he was their age. Too bad, kid!

None of these knuckleheads had backpacks full of stolen property. They weren't out breaking into cars or tagging or up to any other nefarious activity. They were being innocent teenage boys. Truth be told, I envied them their ignorance. Honestly, it was refreshing, in this day and age, to see four boys out just having some fun.

Maybe the world isn't hurtling toward the Hot Place as quickly as I thought. A guy can hope, right?

Saturday's Question

Today, we have a question from everyone's favorite long-winded lawyer, North State DA:

MC-

Lets say you have two cars coming towards you. The limit is 35, but the lead car, the one closest to you, is doing 55. The one behind the lead is doing 50. Both breaking the law and deserving swift and brutal justice, but which one do you ticket? The guy in front, who is going faster, or the guy in back, that is easier to pull over? Please assume that they are both driving similar vehicles, etc.

I ask because I generally like to break the law at a speed just a little less than the Speedy Gonzales ahead of me, on the theory that any hostiles (law enforcement) will go after the guy in front.

I love your blog- you are the coolest thing since Jerry Dermon!

NSDA

I am so looking forward to bursting your juris-ass bubble over this one! For the sake of argument, let's assume (save it, we all know what that makes) I'm on the bike. More often than not, I will cite you both. Double stops are not uncommon (least not 'round here). As both cars pass, I'll pull in behind and activate my lights. If one is further ahead than the other, I'll pull next to the second, slower, car and indicate he/she is to follow. Then, I'll get behind the first, faster, car. As the first car yields, I'll point to the second car and indicate they are to pull over as well.

Of course, I can already hear some of the "what ifs" careening around in your brain. What if the second car doesn't stop? What if the first car doesn't stop? What if the first car is too far ahead? I also realize there exists an inherent danger (above and beyond the usual) in double stops. Officer safety typically dictates NOT having someone pull in behind you.

If the second car doesn't stop, the first car unknowingly gets a break. The second car gets a ticket and a lecture. If the first car doesn't stop, vice versa. If the first car is too far ahead, well, who knows. Maybe I give up on the second and concentrate on the first, maybe I give up on the first. Every situation is different.

I've done double stops a number of times and each has gone smoothly. Could the next one be different? Sure, but so could the single. You just never know.

Just as an amusing aside...I once stopped five at once. I wasn't on the bike, though. I was in front of a school bus that was stopped with the stop sign extended and five cars didn't stop. I stepped out in the street and directed them all to the curb. All five got cites...at about $400/ea. It was awesome to say, "MC, 11-95 (traffic stop) on five" over the air.

Oh, and this is just for you, DA...I was cooler than Jerry Dermon back then, man. What makes you think the coolness would have decreased over the years? I thought you lawyers had to be sharp.

Peace Officer's Memorial

The ten men shown above gave the ultimate sacrifice in 2008. On May 8, 2009, I (along with a multitude of other Officers, families, friends, and citizens) made the trek to Sacramento to attend the Peace Officer's Memorial.

The day started out meeting up with a dozen or so other Motors for some breakfast and then we ponied up and rode to the CHP Academy. At 0900 hours, we made the long, slow ride from the Academy to the State Capitol with all the lights a-blaze. It was incredibly moving to see so many people lining up along our route (which stretched for a number of miles). We saw people of every description. Some waved, some held signs thanking us, some smiled, some saluted, some held their hands over their hearts. But, to a person, they all appeared to be there to support us and the fallen.

It's weird, and maybe a little sad, that I look forward to events like this. Obviously, I'd prefer to never have to attend one again, but I think we all know that won't be the case. I look forward to them for the camaraderie it emboldens inside of us. You end up seeing folks you haven't seen since that last Recon class or since the last year's Memorial. You get to mix in with dozens of other agencies. You get to check out the latest gear, equipment, uniforms, Motors, etc. Personally, I think cops should just stop getting killed and we'll just have a big ass BBQ every year so we can hang out and bullshit for a day.

After catching up with fellow Officers for a bit and everyone had arrived, the procession started. The Governator walked out along with other government cronie types. Then, the families started. It's the part I hate. Seeing a five year old son wearing his Dad's Medal of Valor absolutely breaks my fucking heart. It's a terrible sight to behold. And then I notice he's holding his seven year old sister's hand and Mom is walking behind them trying to stay strong. I don't know how she does it. She is stronger than I am.

Once the families are all settled, the talking heads stand up for their noon news sound bites. At this point, I tend to zone out and just look around. I take in the sheer volume of people that turned out to show their support. I look up at the Capitol building and see the sniper teams on the roof. We're there to honor ten men...and we're still working. Amazing.

I am brought back to the present when I hear the 21 gun salute and Taps hauntingly played by three trumpets spread out at three different locations around the square. I get that feeling like a hand has reached in, gripped my heart/lungs/stomach and gave it a squeeze. I had to shut my eyes to keep the tears at bay.

It was a rough day, to be sure. But it was also a day those men deserved. God bless them and their families.

C.I.D.

Just like the rest of you, I am a member of the credit nation. I very seldomly carry cash. More often than not, if I'm purchasing something, I use my bank card/debit card. On the back of my card, in the spot reserved for the cardholder's signature, I wrote C.I.D. This is a tip to the cashier to ask to see my identification and make sure I'm the same chap who is on the debit card. I am not exaggerating here...in the past two weeks, I've used the card a number of times, both in uniform and in my civilian attire. The only time I've been asked to present matching identification? When I'm in uniform. WTF?

Uh, Mr. Purveyor of what is most likely some shit I don't really need, what kind of elaborate scheme do you think I'm running here? Look at my fucking shirt...see that name there? Yeah, the one that matches the name on the card? I'm the same cat, man. Figure it out. Did you think you're breaking up some devious plot designed by terrorists to slowly defraud the U.S. Government one pack of Stride gum at a time?

My plan has been foiled (at which point, I take six months to grow out a handlebar mustache, wax that bitch down good, then grab it between my thumb and evil pointer finger and wait for my oddly human dog to wheezingly snicker), you bastard. I cleverly entered the lair of my sworn enemy, donned his very uniform, showed up for his shift, took his bike, even wrote a few tickets. I was hoping to lure you into a false sense of security by doing all of these things and then I was going to enter your humble Stop-n-Rob and make off with the goods (in the form of the aforementioned gum and possibly *gasp* some sunflower seeds...I may even combine the two because in my twisted mind, the flavor combination would probably be orgasmic). Your brilliant deduction has saved us all. If Jack Bauer is ever killed, please apply for his position. You would do him proud.

I don't carry my ID when I'm in uniform. I figure the fact that my name is one my shirt and I have a badge and a gun is enough. The real kicker? When I tell the cashier I don't have ID and then I point at my shirt, they just shrug and say okay. Hey, Jag-off, what's the bloody point of asking me for it if you're not going to enforce any kind of standard? Man, I could totally take over the world.

When I'm in civilian clothes, though? Nothing. I could have just hit the real MC over the head with a brick, taken his bank card, and headed off to begin my little crime spree. Does Betty behind the counter at Best Buy give a shit? Nope.

Again, I ask you, WTF?

Who are you trying to kid?

Just because you live in an affluent area does not mean you are having an "Estate Sale". Particularly when the address on the sign points to a condo complex. I'm fairly certain 'estate' and 'condo' are mutually exclusive.

Listen, you're just trying to pawn off to the next sucker your bullshit collection of Pogs or mint condition ceramic clowns. That doesn't equate to living in an estate.

Stop your posturing and call it what it is...a garage sale. It's okay if you don't have a garage, the term is still broad enough to encompass what it is. Matter of fact, double shame on you if you don't have a garage. You know damn well an estate will have a garage. An estate can have a garage sale, but a condo can't have an estate sale.

It's cosmic law. So, knock it off.

How much for the Flintstone's chess set?

Saturday's Question

Holy shit....it's actually Saturday! Nice. Today's question comes from Rebecca over at Positive LEO:

You're traveling through a school zone and the lights are flashing BUT there's no school because it's a holiday, like say....oh, I don't know...Easter Monday. Do you have to keep the 15 mph speed?

Here's the boring CVC answer. Section 22352(a)(2)(B) states, "When approaching or passing a school building or the grounds thereof, contiguous to a highway and posted with a standard "SCHOOL" warning sign, while children are going to or leaving the school either during school hours or during the noon recess period. The prima facie limit shall also apply when approaching or passing any school ground which are not separated from the highway by a fence, gate, or other physical barrier while the grounds are in use by children and the highway is posted with a standard "SCHOOL" warning sign. For purposes of this subparagraph, standard "SCHOOL" warning signs may be placed at any distance up to 500 feet away from school grounds."

The quicker answer is no. The key to the school zone is that there are children present. If it's a holiday, your clear to drive whatever the usual posted limit is. It isn't a sexy answer, but there it is nonetheless.

I'm down to a couple more questions, kids, so get some more in if you're even moderately enjoying the weekly education!

Go faster or get the hell out of the way

I know I have been a bit lax of late updating. I've had the rather arduous task of breaking in my new Motor. (Cue the whiners in Patrol). At any rate, I've noticed something a little more in the past couple of weeks and it needs to be addressed....

Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. I have two people in my car,

Allow me to explain the purpose behind the carpool lane (or diamond lane or HOV lane). It's for you to GO FASTER than the rest of commute traffic. When commute traffic is chugging along at a slow yet steady 55 - 60 MPH, consider it your invitation to make use of the commute lane; however, when a marked Motor, Police Car, or for that matter, anyone comes up behind you, please have the common fucking courtesy to, at bare minimum, do the speed limit or, wait for it....MOVE OVER A LANE, JACKHOLE!

I can't tell you how irritating it is to come up behind someone and have to slow down in what should be the fastest lane going behind some moron who doesn't have the sense God gave a goat. Seriously, this isn't quantum physics. I'm not asking you to construct a nuclear detonator. It's a fairly simple, every day rule.

I shouldn't have to explain this to you. You should be ashamed.

Sincerely,

MC

**On an amusing note, when I spell checked this post, the only word it didn't recognize was "Jackhole". I just thought that was funny...**

Young 'uns ain't gettin' off easy, either

You're turn, junior...

Actually, this is more directed at you, Mom and Dad. There is a detail we get from time to time entitled 601 W&I (Welfare and Institutions). This is the section verbatim:

601(a): Any person under the age of 18 years who persistently or habitually refuses to obey the reasonable and proper orders or directions of his or her parents, guardian, or custodian, or who is beyond the control of the person, or who is under the age of 18 years when he or she violated any ordinance of any city or county of this state establishing a curfew based solely on age is within the jurisdiction of the juvenile court which may adjudge the minor to be a ward of the court.

There are a couple more subsections, but basically, this is what is referred to as the "Uncontrollable Juvenile" detail. My opinion? Ain't no such thing (and before you grammar dorks hop up on your soapbox, I'm taking literary license. I know it's a terrible sentence.).

This section was enacted to control truancy and habitually disobedient children. I have a couple messages for two select groups. First, the parents. Second, the kids.

Parents...listen, you have to understand something. You are bigger than your kid(s). Get it? I don't care if little Johnny is 6'3" and 250 lbs. You're bigger. Know why? Because you're Mom. Because you're Dad. Your house is not a Democracy. It is a Dictatorship. If it's not, it should be. That is not to say your child can't have an opinion about things. That is not to say you shouldn't value Suzie's feelings. Make no mistake, I will listen to everything my children have to say; however, at the end of the day, what the Wife and I say, goes. End of story.

Parents....you don't understand why your little sweetheart won't mind you? Well, gee, did we ever set boundaries for them whilst they were a-growin'? No? Hmmm...did we give them consequences for their actions? No? Damn. Did we, oh I don't know, teach them to respect their elders, their peers, and themselves? No? Well then guess what Mommy and Daddy? Their behavior is your fucking fault. I can't fix in 17 minutes what it took you 17 years to permanently fuck up. Sorry. You've no one to blame but yourselves.

This may sound harsh. Ok, fine, it's harsh. It also happens to be reality. It boggles my mind that I get detailed to a house where Mom complains that Junior "just won't go to school". Are you kidding me? Know what would have happened in my house if I said some silly shit like that growing up? Besides the fact that I'd be standing for near a month after the spanking, either Mom or Dad would've taken my now-beet red ass to school. How's about you throw Johnny in the damn car and drive him to school. Sit in his class if you have to. Take responsibility. YOU ARE A PARENT. I am not your child's father. I am not your parent-coach. Do your goddamn job!

Before you get too up in arms...I'm not advocating beating your kid. Not by a stretch. In my opinion, any corporal punishment should be done out of love, not anger or frustration. You will not help the situation if you just start wailing away. Explain why the behavior was wrong. Explain a better way to handle it. Explain the consequence. Any punishment dealt out of anger or frustration merely clouds and confuses the issue.

Now its your turn, Johnny and/or Suzie. Feeling pretty good after I reamed 'ol Mom and Popz, right? Well shut your mouth, cause I got news for you, too. When you and your stupid little buddies think you can get over on your folks by holding the 'abuse card' over their heads, you got another think coming. Know what? Mom and Dad have every right in the world to spank your little bottom blue. Matter of fact, how's about I stand by and they can go to town on you and I'll let you know how far they can take it. That work for you?

Remember the time that you were throwing a fit and Mom grabbed your arm in her vice-like grip? Left a nasty bruise, didn't it? You told your school counselor about it and she reported it because she's required by law. You do? Sit down, sweetie...Mom could have done a hell of a lot more and still be right by the law.

You know what your folks are required to do? Four basic things...1)feed you 2)clothe you 3)shelter you, and 4)educate you. That's it, kid. You like that PS3? Not yours. Cell phone? Also not yours. Your car? Nope. Your TV? Nuh-uh. All that shit belongs to your parents. They allow you to use it. It never ceases to amaze me when parents ask me, "I can take those things away?" Unreal.

Junior, you are but a serf in the fiefdom that is your house. You can either be the one sleeping in squalor or you can be the one in the main house helping out. You don't get a vote...or if you do, it like my Mom always said, "It doesn't count because I get to vote twice".

A final thought to you parents out there. If there are two things I can encourage you to do it'd be get on the same page with your husband/wife and be consistent. Kids sense the weaker parent. They do it from the day you bring them home from the hospital. It may sound silly, but its an absolute. We are genetically predisposed to discover and exploit weakness to get what we want. The "weak" parent in one situation may be the stronger in another. It's the age-old "Mom and Dad 'em" situation. If Mom won't let me, ask Dad and vice versa.

Consistency is key. Don't threaten Johnny with a consequence and not follow through. You're not doing yourself any favors....and believe me, Johnny knows it. I'm not saying it's easy. I am, however, saying it works. How do I know? I'm a product of it. My parents were on the same page all the time. My actions had consequences. And I paid for them. They may not always have agreed with one another about whatever stupid shit I pulled, but, in my eyes, it always appeared as a united front. Without a doubt.

I'll throw in a third caveat of Communication. Talk to your kids, people. You are not raising children. You are raising little adults (credit: Mom). If your kid is a little asshole, he/she will be a big asshole when they grow up. Talk to your kids like adults. They're a hell of a lot smarter than you may give them credit for. They know the score and, believe it or not, are dying for you to set them straight.

Now, lets hug it out...

Saturday's Question

*Sigh* It's Sunday...stupid calendar...at any rate, here's Saturday's Question:

If I get pulled over what are my rights as a driver? Do I have to let a cop search my car? What about admitting vs not admitting the violation?

Excellent question, Kevin. Thanks...

This is a bit of a two part question. First, do you have to let a cop search your car. It's not as easy as all that. We may ask for your consent. As a matter of course, I always ask for consent. It's easier to articulate in a report that the subject gave consent to search. You have every right to say, "No"; however, be aware that we may already have developed PC (probable cause) to search without it. For example, I smell marijuana or I see something in plain sight (drugs, weapons, burg tools, etc) that now gives me the right to pull you out and search your car.

I've asked for consent before and gotten the negative response. At that point, I've already established my PC and I say, "Okay, I was just being polite. Get out of the car." So, no. Technically, you do not have to let a cop search your car. You'd be amazed how many people let us, though. They could have a body in the trunk and an ounce of crank in their pocket and they'll still say, "Sure, Officer. Go right on ahead." Job security, brother.

The second part...admitting vs. not admitting the violation. Honestly, I could not care less either way. I've already witnessed the violation. I know you did it. You know you did it. Just take responsibility already. I always make my notes on my copy of the citation contemporaneously with the stop. That way, my recollection is fresh and if/when I testify to it six months later, I can remember what happened. That means I document whatever statements you make (that are pertinent to the violation...your accusatory "You're an asshole" statement is not germane). If you say nothing, I write nothing and that just makes my testimony shorter. So long as I prove the case beyond a reasonable doubt to the judge, which is more often than not the case, your statements don't really matter.

Do yourself a favor, though. If you make a statement during the stop to the effect of "Yeah, I did it", don't bother going to court. Save us both some time. Or go on my day off....I could use the cash.

I am much more likely to give a break to someone who admits what they did wrong. It means they realize what they did and will most likely go a bit of a while before they do it again.