Monday, May 31, 2010

Hey, Gramma, send me your money!

Over the past couple of weeks, I've handled a couple of fraud details in which the victims were in their 80s. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a believer in respecting one's elders and I know they are the "greatest generation" and all, but a larger group of gullible folks doesn't exist. Here's the scenario.

Gramma Moses gets a phone call from her "grandson". GM says it sounded just like him (although he was crying). "Grandson" tells GM he is in county lockup in Buffalo, NY. Seems he and some buddies got picked up at the border coming back from Canada with a little Canadian Hippie Lettuce (credit: Bitterman) and now he needs some money for bail.

GM sends her long-suffering husband, Rumple-freaking-Stilskein, out straight away to the closest Western Union to send "Grandson" about $2800. After Rumple returns, another phone call. Seems that wasn't enough money and "Grandson" forgot to mention he needed additional money for lawyer fees as well.

Well, family is family, right? Yup, Rumple goes back out and sends $2900. The following morning, one more phone call greets our intrepid elderly couple and $2500 more is sent. Did I forget to mention where they sent the money? Shame on me....Dublin, Ireland.

Now, I know I'm just a traffic dork and not super detective guy, but if "Grandson" is in the clink in Buffalo, NY, how is sending three large payments out of the country supposed to help out your deserving (*cough*) "Grandson". Here's another question...why not attempt to confirm the person is indeed your relation?

As it turns out, GM called "Grandson's" cell phone, but he never answered. A few days later, they saw their Grandson, but no one brought up the money or the trip to jail. A couple days after that, they finally called him and asked him about his arrest in NY. Shockingly, he had no bloody clue what they were talking about. So, they're out $8200. There's no way to track the money, other than it got picked up in Ireland.

They even used cash, so there's no protection for them there, either.

Here's another example...I got a call from a nice old lady I'll call Betty. Betty was ever so excited that she won a sweepstakes, but she felt a little hesitant because the person that told her of her winnings asked her to be at home at a specific time and have a check written for $450. Betty went on to explain she enters all kinds of sweepstakes and has never won so she didn't know if this was sketchy or not.

Oh, and in order to enter the sweepstakes she had to send them a voided check. Gee, sketchy, you think? She was told her $450 would be refunded on top of the $2.5 million she won. *wink, wink*.

Her grandson (real one) got on the phone and he and I had a nice conversation about how Bettie needs to stop entering bullshit sweepstakes and how if she didn't she'd make a excellent victim of a myriad of crimes.

I went to her house at the time the "sweepstakes" rep was supposed to show. Can you believe he never showed up? Crazy, right?

So, do me a favor, and have your grandparents over for a nice dinner and tell them how much you love and appreciate all the sacrifices they made for you and yours. Then tell them they're suckers if they send off their money on what amounts to a whim or just a straight out scam. And tell them the seventeen emails they get everyday about how some Nigerian prince wants to send them $45,000,000.00, but needs $700.00 from you to pay his taxes is bullshit. And say, "bullshit" to them...it'll get their attention.

You've been educated...carry on.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

A Little International Flavor

Earlier this month, I got an email with a link to the 12 coolest police cars in action. The majority of them are from Europe where, let's be honest, they've got some ridiculous cars. To the best of my knowledge, your every day beat cop is driving a sub-compact, goofy looking car; however, they have high-performance pursuit cars as well. I'm gonna guess the lion's share of this list fall into the latter category.

You can check out the list here.

My opinion on the list? So glad you asked. The first thing that stood out to me as I scrolled down the list was to wonder if Europeans have no sense of what colors go together. Was there a clearance sale on cheap day-glo paint? Holy shit...

On the other hand, if you throw me the keys to a Lamborghini Gallardo and it just happens to be bright fucking orange and blue...well, then you ain't gonna see those keys for quite some time.

The second thing that stood out? What in the hell is what could quite possibly be the gayest car ever (if cars could have a sexual preference, that is) doing on this list of straight up bad ass, no shit, go faster than Flash cars?!? Really, Mini? Don't try to be so butch. Driving this car as a police officer would be like me riding one of those electric trike pieces of shit because it's "eco-friendly". I wouldn't take me seriously on that thing, why should you?

Lastly, I love that good old-fashioned American muscle made it to the top two. That car just looks mean. Which, in turn, means it will never drive the streets of the Town. We wouldn't want folks to think we were mean, now.

Thanks for the email, Chris! I loved seeing police vehicle options from the world round!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Comedic Break

This one made me laugh out loud. And to answer your questions, no, I am not the crusty old British wanker in the video. No offense if you are a crusty old British wanker, by the way.




Interesting, note...anyone see where the cop parked his bike in relation to the vehicle? What the hell?!? Maybe 'cuz you Brits drive on the wrong side, this is SOP, but I'm gonna assume it's just poor research on the director's part and move on.

And lastly, credit where it's due...thanks, Kyle for the link.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Top Shot


I was recently contacted by the folks over at the History Channel about a new show they are putting on called "Top Shot". From historychannel.com:

Whether it's William Tell using a crossbow to shoot an apple off his son's head, or Annie Oakley using a hand mirror to make a shot with a rifle slung over her shoulder, history is filled with legendary tales of amazing marksmanship. Now, HISTORY is tapping into these inspiring feats of sharp-shooting for its first-ever competition series, Top Shot, premiering Sunday, June 6 at 10/9c on HISTORY.

Sixteen of the nation's most skilled marksmen have been carefully selected to compete for the title. Some have professional shooting experience, some are amateurs--and all will showcase breathtaking timing, speed and accuracy in their quest to win the $100,000 prize package and the title of "Top Shot." The winner will ultimately have to be skilled in everything from muzzle-loading muskets and modern pistols to slingshots and throwing knives.

Each week, contenders will face both team and individual elimination challenges until one winner remains. Every challenge will focus on the weapons, technologies and techniques of different historical eras as hi-speed HD cameras capture the skillful execution of each test in extreme slow-motion.

Contestants vying for "Top Shot" include professional shooters--like the first woman in the history of the Chicago Police Department to become "Top Gun" of her graduating class--and world-record holders, but there are also amateurs like a Wild West entertainer, a historical firearms collector and a radio gun show host. From a 22-year-old rifle prodigy to a 47-year-old retired city cop, they'll need skill, toughness and nerves of steel to claim the Top Shot title.

I think by now I've established myself as a bit of a TV lover, right? Check out the promotional video:





So fire up those DVRs, kids. This looks like a pretty cool show and I'll definitely be tuning in! Guns, knives, assorted weapons and competition? Oh, hell yes, I'm in! The History Channel, in conjunction with XBOX (my other addiction), is also having two contests to promote "Top Shots"! The first is simply a sweepstakes (info here) in which you and a friend could travel to Los Angeles for a Microsoft game-related event. The second involves a little more skill (info here). Between June 4th at 0001 hrs and June 5th at 2359 hrs, fire up your XBOX and play a little Call of Duty - Modern Warfare 2 over XBOX Live. The best online players will be eligible for prizes like an HDTV, home theater system and an XBOX Elite. Remember to look for Motorcop on XBOX Live, as well!

Consider yourselves informed...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tactical Pants

I can totally see where you think I may be going with such a post title. Man, there are so many inappropriate, yet hilarious, comments to be made with that one. Alas, it is a real thing and there is a real need in Law Enforcement for them. Sound crazy? Well, okay, I think we can agree on that one.

A while back I did an interview with Jeannette over at her tactical pants blog. She emailed me recently and wanted to pass along their Ultimate Guide to Tactical Pants for my LEO readers...and, I suppose, those of you who feel you need to dress more, um, tactically?

I am stuck in my motor britches, so I don't have much need for tactically driven pantaloons, but I'm sure there are those of you out there that may benefit from their product line. Check 'em out here.

What Happened?

By now, you all know me well enough to know that I can spin a yarn or two. Sure, I have a minor ability to make what may very well be a boring traffic-related story into something a little more entertaining when I include my inner dialog. That being said, though, you should also know that the basis behind the stories I tell you are factual. In other words, I'm not good enough to make this shit up. These stories involve your fellow man (gender neutral, of course).

Keep that in mind when you read the following. Earlier this month, I was dispatched to a pretty spectacular solo vehicle collision. Nothing particularly sexy about it, though. New teenage driver looking to make a lane change looked over her right shoulder. This seemingly innocuous move caused her to gently (and naturally) pulled the wheel to the left. Try it yourself (when safe, of course). If your left hand is on the wheel at around the 10 o'clock position, give a good head turn to the right and see if your hand doesn't naturally pull the wheel counter clockwise. Her result? WHAM...right into a tree.

At any rate, my partner, DogBoy (our K9), and I were in the midst of the wreckage when a car headed in the opposite direction asked us, "What happened?"

I'm not kidding.

Really? What happened? Apparently, your observational skills suck on ice. Can you not see the complete destruction of what used to be a brand new Toyota Camry? Can you not see the tree seriously listing to one side?

Questions like this are so very irritating for a number of reasons. First, you look like a complete moron. It couldn't be more obvious what happened, for crying out loud. Second, you're a rubber necker. I f'n hate rubber neckers. You know what they cause? Other f'n collisions! Those LEOs that read this blog can attest to that very fact. Finally, asking a question like that makes you look like a complete moron.

Yes, I realize I said that one twice. Remember something, folks...they're morons. They need to be reminded repeatedly. Repetition is key.

The best part of the story is my partner's and my response to the question. What happened?

DogBoy: Plane Crash.
MC: Meteor Strike.

Even Fire laughed. Although the Capt. told us later the driver called us assholes. I'll go ahead and chalk that up to it taking one to know one.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Seatbelt and the Vietnam Connection Episode II

This guy took me to court today. Hilarity ensued.

I gave my usual cut and dried version of events on the day of the event. I usually leave out all the bullshit static the drivers tend to have because it has little or nothing to do with the violation. My opinions of the driver are not pertinent to what I am testifying to. Sure, the guy and/or girl could be the Duke of Douchebaggery, but it has jack to do with why the citation was written (although it is a lovely side benefit).

So, like I said, I gave my usual testimony. Now, the defendant has an opportunity to cross examine me. Joy...

PIG (Poorly Informed Guy...I know, awesome, right?): Officer, do you agree that you cited me for CVC 27315(d)?
MC: I believe I just testified to that very thing, sir.
PIG: And officer, do you agree that I was traveling on Main St.
MC: Yes.
PIG: Officer, do you agree that a "highway" is defined as a road that connects two towns or cities?
MC: Well, I'd have to refresh my memory of the vehicle code definition of a highway, but I'm pretty sure it means a roadway. I would like to point out that 27315(d) requires you to wear your seat belt on that roadway.
PIG: No further questions.
Judge: Statement?
PIG: Yes, your Honor. Vehicle code section 27315(d) says, "No person shall operate a motor vehicle on a highway unless that person and all passengers 16 years of age or over are properly restrained by a safety belt." It is my contention that I was not driving upon a highway as Main St. does not, in fact, join to towns or cities. And that is why I am pleading not guilty.

**PIG had also handed both the Judge and I a stack of papers containing his main points.**

Judge: Sir, I don't want to seem to be arguing with you, but where did you get your definition of a highway?
PIG: Webster's Dictionary.
Judge: Again, sir, I'm not trying to argue with you; however, the vehicle code defines a highway as basically a road. I will take your case under submission so I can review the documentation you provided me.

Your old buddy MC had to stifle a chuckle at PIG's last answer. Way to be prepared, wanna-be-lawyer-guy! The best part of the whole thing was that at no point did he offer up any defense as to why he wasn't wearing the seat belt. Hell, he never said a damn thing about it one way or the other.

Now, I would've loved to have brought up his attitude at the stop. He was disrespectful and pompous. The fact of the matter is he was wrong...about a great many things. Bringing up his attitude in open court is neither professional or appropriate in my humble opinion. Besides, isn't that what blogs are for?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A Fan Post

Every now and then, I am taken aback that you folks actually read this blog. Yesterday, I was given a link to a post from a blog that I don't think enough of you folks have read. This is my karmic duty to make the two things into a seamless being. Please to enjoy from Big Brown Girl World...

Thanks to Joey on Facebook for making me aware of this post. Joey, it sounds like your folks did exactly what they were supposed to do in raising you. Tell 'em I appreciate their work. Of all the people that read my blog, you rank amongst those that don't really need to learn anything from it!

Oh...and I love the cuss meter. You keep shooting for those fucking stars, Joey!

Monday, May 10, 2010

North State DA's 1984....in 2015.

Once again, Ladies and Gents, MC is proud to have a guest poster in North State DA:

Traffic Stop 2015

So I was messing around with an app on my phone today, and discovered a fascinating little function called “Google Goggles.” Goggles takes pictures of common items and searches the web for information about the item. It seems innocuous enough- take a picture of a bottle of beer on the shelf at Safeway, and your device gives you a link to the brewery, a review of the beer, and uses the GPS chip in the phone to show you a nearby liquor store that has it on sale. Neat! But what is it actually doing? And does that have any application in the public safety context?

You BET it does. In a HUGE way. And the ramifications are immense. More importantly, there is a revolution coming in the ability to accumulate and process data, and the law is way, WAY behind in coping with it. Imagine the following scenario:

1 Jun 2015, 1530 hours. Motorcop on traffic detail in Town. MC sees a beat-up hoopdie ’92 Dodge Ram 1500 coming towards him, and points his LIDAR unit at the Dodge. Limit is 35, Ram is doing 38. The law gives a few miles over for calibration error, and MC has determined that anything below 42 is totally safe on this bright June afternoon when school is out. So the Ram is in the clear.

But this is 2015, and MC has a new LIDAR unit that is integrated with his new digital radio and its 4G network. This unit takes a picture of the Ram as its coming closer, and automatically picks up the plate, scans the numbers, and checks them with DMV. Oops. Ram was last registered 6 Oct 2012.

An electronic voice comes through the earpiece in MC’s helmet and delivers the bad news about the driver (this being 2015, DMV has FINALLY got around to tracking the temporary registration tags that DMV agents used to pass out like candy and never tracked back in 2010, so there is NO WAY the Ram is current.) MC has PC, and away we go.

Before MC even radios in to dispatch, the smartphone-like portable network unit device on his belt that is wirelessly connected to the LIDAR has already received all of the Ram’s registration information, and its also got the data on the Ram’s owner. Her name is Daria Dirtball, 22. Dirtball is currently on formal drug probation for a felony meth possession charge, and her license is suspended for a DUI when she was 19 (she never took the class and paid the fines.)

Of course, the driver might not be Dirtball, but MC has probable cause from the registration, so its just trivia- for now.

MC hits the lights and the Ram pulls over. So far, its what the media likes to call a “routine traffic stop.” MC approaches the window and leans over to see the driver. “Do you know why I stopped you, ma’am?”

MC is wearing shades. Hey, its June, its California. But what the driver doesn’t notice is the tiny digital video camera in the glasses:

http://www.brickhousesecurity.com/spy-camera-sunglasses.html

Before the driver even finished telling MC “No, officer, I’m suspended for DUI,” the camera took a picture of her face and sent it to the device. The picture is broken down into a numerical “signature” and sent to DMV. The signature comes back to Dirtball. Bingo. Searchable for dope and driving on a suspended, a misdemeanor.

“I stopped you because your vehicle hasn’t been registered for a while.”

“Yeah, I am a few months late.”

“Actually, DMV says you are several YEARS late. Please step out of the car.” Arrest (on the suspended license), search, find a handful of meth baggies and a scale in a backpack that has a credit card bill belonging to Dirtball, and off to jail pending sentencing in the formal drug probation and a new felony dope sales charge.

OK, pretty “routine” stop. The tech didn’t add much. But let’s throw in a new variable: Dirtball has a passenger. While MC is talking to Dirtball, his magic shades take a picture of her passenger. DMV check shows nothing. But the photo “signature” is run through a federal database, and it comes back to Ignacio Illicito. Seems Illicito was stopped by ICE agents and sent home to Mexico when he tried to skip the border 3 years ago, and a mugshot was taken. Now Illicito is wanted on a felony warrant out of Imperial County for his role in the kidnapping of a Mexican informer last month.

MC’s day just got a lot busier. Dispatch has already requested backup, and two units are on the way to help take Illicito into custody. And it all happened in under 90 seconds from the time MC got off his bike.

If this traffic stop happened in 2010, Illicito would have told MC that his name was Pedro Guerrero. MC would point out that “Pedro” did not look like a pro ball player, and “Pedro” would tell him that it’s a common name where he’s from. Dirtball would claim the backpack, and, with no further reason to detain Illicito, MC would let him on his merry way, warrant and all.

This technology has applications in the EMS world, too. Imagine responding to a call of a passed out bum on a sidewalk. In 2015, you take a quick snapshot of Ben Bum’s face, and you get an ID, along with a warning that his disgusting bum-body has hep C, tuberculosis, and HIV swimming around in it. And he’s diabetic, and allergic to penicillin. This new tech just saved at least one life, in that you can now properly treat Bum without killing him, but it might also save the life of the responders and ER staff that can prepare for this self-propelled bio weapons lab.

The remarkable thing about this technology is not that it’s “just around the corner”: its already here. This isn’t the millionth Popular Mechanics article claiming that we will all be flying hovercars by next year. The only enabling leap that needs to be taken before this jumps from the theoretical to the operational is some software and a few servers at DMV and the Department of Homeland Security. And maybe a link to booking photo software at county jails and CDCR.

DMV already operates CALPHOTO, a database with a picture of every driver in California. The pictures are not super high resolution, but they are definitely good enough to narrow down the likely candidates to a few dozen people. Throw in environment data, like location or the vehicle being driven, and the software should be able to peg the face almost every time. And it will only get better as the years go by.

But now we have the legal problem. Its well settled that a driver has virtually no expectation of privacy in regards to identity. Anonymity in the physical world is basically a myth. Since you can’t get anywhere in most of the country without driving, and since you can’t drive without a license, you will be vulnerable to identification by law enforcement at least several times a day (assuming probable cause to stop, which any observant officer can develop if he follows a driver long enough.) This has been the state of affairs for about half a century. What this technology does is extend this identification to passengers, or even people walking on the street. Probable cause to stop or detain is no longer a predicate for identification.

In the Kyllo decision, the US Supreme Court relied heavily on the state of technology to say that thermal imaging of a residence violates the reasonable expectation of privacy. If that’s the basis, the court was right (and is still right.) Thermal imagers are not restricted to the military or law enforcement. You can actually rent one- just Google “thermal imaging camera rental.” But they are still relatively expensive and require a certain amount of expertise to operate. Since you do not expect that any schmoe might be peeking through your walls with a thermal camera, you reasonably expect that no one is watching you walk around naked in your bedroom.

“Visual search,” on the other hand, is already available. All you need is an iPhone or an Android-based smartphone. For $150 (plus a 2 year commitment) you can get a device that is currently capable of scanning products and searching a database for the product’s identity. Faces are not dramatically different or more difficult. Google and Apple have not implemented this feature, but its only a matter of time before a phone can scan the face of somebody at a club and link you immediately to their Facebook page. They can do it TODAY. They probably have not because of concerns about legality and privacy.

When this technology hits the courts, there will be chaos. Defense attorneys will squeal that their clients’ identities should be protected from the tyranny of easy identification, and cops will try to scan everybody they meet. The courts will try to strike a balance, and the politicians will no doubt author nonsensical legislation that restricts or expands the way it can be used in response to perceived or actual public outrage. Either way, its going to be a very interesting next couple of years.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

On this Mother's Day, I've decided to use this space as my gift to my Mom and the Wife. They're the two best Moms I've ever known. Obviously, one to me and the other to my girls. First, since it's only fair considering I've known her longer, my Mom.

My Mom had a tough time having me. I won't air all the details here. Suffice it to say, she calls me her Miracle Baby. To hear her tell it, I'm lucky to be here. And lucky I am, indeed. Consequently, my Mom has always put me first, for better or worse. Yup, that makes me a momma's boy...and a proud one at that. I learned to be the kind of parent I am from watching my own. Dad'll get his due next month, don't worry.

My Mom has always been loving. Even when she was disciplining me. I got my gift of writing from her. My sarcasm is no stranger to her, either. I came by it naturally. There are so many things she has taught me that to list them her would be prohibitive at best. The bottom line is that if there were more Moms out there like her, there would be far less of us needed to enforce the law. You are all aware of my feelings on personal responsibility. I got that, in part, from Mom. If more Moms were willing to put their foot down instead of coddling their little ones, we'd all be better off.

So, thank you, Mom, for not coddling me. Thank you for teaching me right from wrong. Thank you for being caring when I needed it and the disciplinarian when it was required. Thank you for all the sacrifices you've made for me. I know I've been able to make my own PB&J's for awhile now, but I assure you, I will always need you.

Most of all, thank you for being the kind of example that drove me to the Wife.

Ah, the Wife. She is everything to me. All of that is for another post, perhaps, since this one is about her gift of motherhood. I've never witnessed a Mom as amazing as her. She is a multi-tasking machine. She keeps the home front running like a well-oiled machine. She is at once a loving, caring Mommy as well as a strong no-nonsense authority figure. Our girls, although little, respect her like I rarely see in the rest of the world.

I know our girls are going to be strong, independent, driven women with the world as their oyster based in part by what they see in their Mom. There is nothing she can't accomplish if she sets it in her sights. She is the bedrock of our family. Sure, I may be the figure head, but believe me when I say we would crumble without her. She is a machine.

I am the luckiest of men. From birth to today, God has blessed me with incredible examples of motherhood. Thank you, Mom. I love you. I understand better today the things you always said I wouldn't until I had kids of my own. Thank you, my lovely bride. I love you. You make every day an adventure and I can't wait to see where we go tomorrow.

Thank you both for being Moms. This world is better off because of the women you are and the instructions you've given and continue to give.

xoxo

Friday, May 7, 2010

Sneak Peek

Well, it's official. I've gone and registered a domain name. The new address is going to be motorcopblog.com! The layout remains the same....for the time being. More changes are in the works and I'm very excited about it!

For those of you who aren't on the Facebook fan page (and just why the hell not?!?), I'll take this opportunity to let you know some cool schwag is in development. Here's a little teaser:



Just imagine the logo emblazoned across a T-shirt, travel coffee mug, magnet, decal, space shuttle, etc! Details will be forthcoming. The ETA for the new blog design is looking like late June. Posts will continue as per usual and I'll keep you updated.

Thanks to the Wife for the awesome gift of my own domain! I love you, sweetheart!!