Hey! You! Stop being such a pussy.

I realize that this, my infantile blog, is often a source of rants on my part. Well, far be it from me to break my stride. This one is for you Anonymous PR (Person Reporting....don't we know that by now?).

There are a number of things that nut me up a bit about my job. Some of them are unique to Motors and some are simply unique to me. This one, I think, is universally despised. At least at my PD.

The Anonymous PR.

The Anonymous PR is the man or woman who calls in the kids swimming in the HOA pool after hours but doesn't think they should just grow a set and say, "Hey! Get the fuck out of the pool!" No, no. The Anonymous PR fears confrontation and, ridiculously, reprisals. Because Johnny Snotlocker is gonna be so bent out of shape you caught him sneaking a beer and a spa-side hand job from Suzie Cheerleader that he will inevitably follow you back to your house and key the shit out of your car or put 18 M-80s in your mailbox.

The Anonymous PR is the man or woman who calls in the solicitor who is Black or Hispanic and "just doesn't look like they belong in Town". Because Kwame Mabotoo (because he obviously threw off his slave name) is going to rally the local chapter of the Black Panthers or Black Guerrilla Family and do a little cross burning of their own on your front lawn.

And today...the Anonymous PR calls in a reckless, possibly drunk, driver, in Town. Not sure if there was a plate given or not, but there was a vehicle description. As it happens, my partner found the car (after it was involved in a collision with a different vehicle). The problem could be that maybe the Anonymous PR is the only one that can positively ID the responsible driver. Any defense lawyer worth a shit is going to want someone to put the drunk behind the wheel. We, the police, arrive on scene after all the parties are out of the car. We can't put the drunk behind the wheel because we didn't witness the crash. Sure would be fucking helpful if there were, oh I don't know, a witness that could solve a major portion of the elements of our crime.

As it happens, with today's issue, we were able to put the proper parties in the proper vehicles and we arrested a 20 yr old for being under the influence of medication while driving a vehicle. It looks like it wasn't the first crash he got into today, by the way. It would have been much simpler had the Anonymous PR given a damn name and call back number.

So, please, Anonymous PR, stop being such a pussy and give us your info. We're not gonna dime you off, but it puts a hell of a lot more credence to your gripe if you've got the wherewith all to identify yourself. If you choose to remain Anonymous PR, maybe we'll get Anonymous Officer to respond to your typically trite and not-really-a-crime complaint....and no, I'm not saying the above fall into this category. More often than not, though, Anonymous PR calls are a waste of time and not a police matter.